Why do People think Stalking is such a Bag thing?

I mean really, if you think about it, it’s like the greatest form of flattery there is.  Someone cares enough about you to stalk you, that’s love right there!  First, for those who don’t know, allow me to define stalking.

Stalking is not defined as hiding in a bush, and climbing an apartment building, and following a person wherever they go.  That is just damn CRAZY! That is not what the true definition of stalking is.

Stalking is the admiration of a person from afar (or in some cases very near).  It involves gathering information about that person, that they might not know you have. Not crazy shit like their 3rd grade teacher’s name or something, but information that will further your cause of making that person fall deeply in love with you.  Stalking is not about, “YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME, YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME.” Stalking is guiding that person into the realization that they can’t live without you.  It involves finesse of any situation you might find yourself in, however awkward it may be.

Maybe you happened to be at the same movie theatre this person was at, because you overheard him talking to someone at work about going to see a certain movie.  Now the Crazy Stalker says, “I wanna go with you! I LOVE Johnny Depp.” That is not what the true stalker does.  What you do is, just happen to be there, so it seems as though you have multiple common interests.  You have to be subtle to make this stalking thing work.  It’s an art,  you have to work on your craft, perfect it, tweak it to fit you.

Some stalkers have certain websites they use to gather information.  As long as the person you are stalking NEVER knows what website you use, life is great.  Some people, like me, don’t even have to use websites anymore.  I could get info an any potential stalkee, in under 12 hours.  I could get best friends names, work history, phone numbers, etc. Just by talking to that person.  Conversation is the Stalkers best defense.  If you can converse intelligently, or even flirt well, you can get everything you need to figure out if this person is even worth stalking in the first place.

Because you might meet a person, and think they are stalk worthy.  But 4 minutes into the conversation, you realize they are an ass, and you need not waste your time.  Cuz’ it’s like the worst thing ever, to stalk someone, and think they are going to be a great person, and they turn out to be a COMPLETE ASS! (Yeah, that story will be in my book)

But I can’t share all my secrets.  I am holding sessions over the phone, for those who want to learn more about the Art of Stalking.  Classes are $19.95 per session, Hour Long, but well worth the time and money.  We accept cash, check, and money order.  The checks MUST be certified, cuz we all try to pass off rubber checks now and then.  Hit a sista up if you need to . . .

Love Ya!

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