Archive | August 21, 2007

Fear of the Unknown

This was going to be a private blog, then I thought better of it.  Because in all actuality, it can be applied to most situations.  Why do we all seem to run from those things that are in essence are best for us.  From the physical stand point, to the less dramatic aspects of life.  Is it fear of failure, fear of rejections? Do they all sort of go together.  What about fear of those things that most people think is a more thing to want?

What about fear of happiness, or someone who will make you happy.  What about fear of success, or of pursuing your dreams.? What about fear of Love?  What then?  When you realize that you are afraid of the things that you think will finally make you a functioning member of society.  When you are told over and over again that you are greater than your situation, when people keep telling you that you aren’t living up to your potential?

Being afraid of your greatness is the worst kind of fear there is.  Nelson Mandela quoted it best, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” So my question, that is soley directly toward anyone who reads this is, When are you going to get rid of your fear?

When will you get to the point where everything you do has a goal, and that goal will make you are better person?  When we stop doing things just because they seem like a good idea at the time, and start doing things because we know they will lead up to the greatest that we can be?  When will we stop putting ourselves and our abilities down, and start using the things that we excel at to make us excel?

I said a while ago, that this was the year of the Righteous Hustle.  And i lived up to that.  You have to speak it to believe it.  If you want out of your bad situation, and you don’t see a way out, wake up and say that everyday.  Just wake up in the morning and say, I want out of this shit.” It you have to curse your way, curse your way out.

The problem for me was, and yes, I am going to call myself out at this point, is that I knew what I was good at, but I wanted it to fall into my lap.  Problem with that fucked up way of thinking was, you can’t let it fall in your lap.  It’s not going to anyway.  You have to work for it.  The Quickest way from Point a to Point B is a to work your way there.

Yeah, your Point A might be real fucked up, but just keep looking at that Point B, and make your way there.  The issues arrive when you start looking back.  I am slowly moving forward, making moves, and trying to get everything in order.  There are a few things and people that need to help me firmly on my path to Point B, and the messed up thing is that they don’t seem to want to help me there.

And this paragraph is directly to you . . .
Let me have my closure.  Stop being scared, because for once I am not scared about it.  But I am beginning to believe that you are.  It seems that every time an opportunity arrives, there is a reason that you don’t follow through.  Don’t fuck this time up, because I won’t be there when I get back.  I WILL NOT BE THERE, if you can’t be there this time.

Funny how you live your life afraid of something, and then one day you aren’t.  Like you wake up one morning, and everything is starting to make sense.  All your ducks are sitting in a row, just waiting to follow you along on your journey.  And that in an of itself is a scary ass thought.  To have things seem to arrive in a seemingly random order, but they all make sense.  I hope to come back from this trip ready for anything!

Moral of this blog: Fear can kill all those things that God has created for you.  It can make you lose that one person who has been there for you in the real bad times, and in the real good times.  It can make you not appreciate the 2 people that got you out of a potentially life treating depression until it’s too late.  Don’t be afraid to embrace those things that you don’t feel you deserve.  Maybe God thinks you deserve them, maybe he is trying to cut you a break.  Don’t be too stupid to accept his gifts.  There will come a time when he stops giving them to you.