This blog is a LONG time in coming. There has been so much going on with me, I just havent had the energy to sit down and write about it all. I really don’t have the enegry right now, but I am making it happen, because I need a clear head and spirit tomorrow, and this will help. I gotta have on my happy face, even if it sometimes feels like the world is falling apart slowly.
For those of you who don’t know yet, I am once again unemployed. Yep, I got fired again! And of course for some bogus shit, nothing true. I guess I fought the man too much, and pissed him/her/them off a tad bit. And my wonderful firing not only stopped me from working for them, but also lost me my BALLS GOOD paying job that I had lined up for the year. So i am very upset about it, and devestated by the fact that these people who really didn’t mean shit to me, have managed to fuck up all my plans that I had for myself in the coming months.
But I am just going to have faith that it’s all going to work out. Not because of my merit as a great person, but because I just need a break at this point. I finally figured out what the Hell my calling is, and I am working toward it, so this means that It’s going to happen, I just have to be patient, right? All my dreams are going to come true because i am a good person, so lives a holy life, and doesn’t do bad things to anyone anymore . . . yeah, that hasn’t been working for me so far. . .
And yet, after my initail freak out in front of Steak N Shake this evening, I just continued to figure out what the hell to do next. I have been setting a goal for each day, so that I don’t wallow in my unemployment, like I was doing last year at this time. Of course, that whole I can’t get unemployment checks this time does make a difference. Because I am so right back on my righteous hustle, and that is okay, I said this year was going to be a struggle, way back when. So I am once again waiting for 2008 to be Super Great, and 2009 to be Damn Fine . . .
On to other things. I think I flipped a switch, or rather a switch was flipped for me on my trip to NYC. When that didn’t work out like I saw it working, I think I finally said to myself, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH . . . Like I just got tired of Bullshit, on every level. Relationship Bullshit, Work Bullshit, People Bullshit, Racial Bullshit. All the things that I deal with on a regular basis. I think that is why I fought so hard for the $4 that I talked about in the Blogs that I wrote and then deleted from MySpace (they are still on FaceBook)
I am just kind of tired of everything. Dealing with other people’s bullshit problems, that I think are frivolous . . . My Wife cheated on me, I don’t know what to do about it . . . FUCKING LEAVE HER . . . My Boyfriend is an asshole to me all the time . . . FUCKING BREAK UP WITH HIM . . . I am not happy at work, I think I could be doing better . . . FIND A BETTER FUCKING JOB (this of course applies to those who DON’T live in the Midwest, cuz the Job Market here is a BIG FAT WHORE)
Unless your problem is, I don’t have a job and I need to pay my rent . .. I was accused of Attempted Murder for protecting myself . . . I was kidnapped and held in a basement for years . . . is your issue really that important? I am not TRYING to be an ass, I just want to know . . . When did we start complaining so much about shit that we can fix easily? If you aren’t happy with your relationship, YOU can change it. There are no outside forces that will stop you from leaving that relationship. It’s not like the Boyfriend Police will throw you in jail for breaking up . . .
I don’t even complain that I don’t have a job right now, because I know that I will find one. I put my professional portfolio together, and I had to choose like the best of what I have done so far in my life . . . I have done ALOT of good shit. I am a very talented indivdual, and that is really the reason that I don’t have a job. Because I stopped being the token, and started showing my true self. So I kinda created the environment, but then again, they were some jealous ass hater bitches about the whole situation (not that I am Bitter or anything)
But seriously people, unless your life is in danger, then it’s not really a problem. It’s a situation that you go yourself into that you now need to decide how you are going to get yourself out of . . . Figure out your next step. If you drink too much, and you know that you fuck up your life when you are drunk . . . STOP FUCKING DRINKING . .. If you know that watching Porn all day might be stopping you from excelling at your job . . . STOP WHACKING OFF AT WORK . . . If you need a raise at work, but you are half ass all the time . . . STEP UP YOUR GOT DAMN GAME . . .
Can we please stop whining about shit that is in our control, I mean really. We all have issues, and I am the first to admit most of mine. My father basically abandoned me until I was 22, I’m fat and deal with judgement because of it, I was raised in a family of Tokens and I am having a hell of a time straddling that line, I was in love with the same man for 7 years and he never loved me back, I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING JOB . . .
We all have issues, but you have to remember that other people have issues too. And in the grand scheme of things, this is a moment in your life, not your WHOLE life. In 5 years, will these issues even matter .. . in 6 months, will you look back and even remember that you were stressing about this. . . . and if you are having the EXACT SAME ISSUES in 6 months or 5 years, and they are not Life-Threating issues, then you need to figure some shit out, for real . ..
I guess you could call this my Tough Love Blog, because at this point, I think a whole lot of people need it. MAN THE FUCK UP, and stop acting as though – as an adult- you don’t have control of your life. As much as breaking up with a boyfriend/girfriend/wife/husband is going to hurt, and I don’t negate your pain, doesn’t it hurt you more to stay. Like I said, I was in and out of a self-destructive relationship for 7 damn years. But it just took that one good time, for me to wake up, and be like Wow! I am acting an ass right now, and he’s not doing the same.
That “I am Tired of This Bullshit!” moment might not show up as you read this blog. You are going to have to do some soul searching about it. You have to start realizing that YOU, YOU are more important than anyone else in this world. Because it’s all about you. The people who are on top of this world know that it’s all about them. Now once they get to the top, they start to think about the little people that helped them get where they are. But trust me, they stepped on a WHOLE lot of people before they got to the top. I don’t mean start kicking people in the elevator, but try to gain some perspective
If you are stressing out over a person, are they stressing out over you? Are they calling their friends, and crying on the phone about it? I cry very rarely, so when I do it, it’s for something important. It’s not gonna be because some dude did the same shit that he did last week. Most of my friends are out of college now, and if we want to be treated as adults, we need to act like them.
So to my people, MYSELF INCLUDED, Grow The Fuck Up! Get it together. I am quite sure like 3 people are going to hate me for a while for this blog, but it’s how I feel right now. Because your counter-part, has their shit together, that is why they got that job you were going for, or they have that happy relationship, or they have those nice clothes . . . They have their shit TOGETHER . ..