She’s an Odd Duck that one . . .

So, I went to see the Beatle’s Movie, as I so lovingly call it.  It’s actually called Across the Universe, and for those people who like at least one Beatle’s Song, I URGE you to go see it.  It’s a beautiful movie, full of amazing imagery and music . . . and you know how some movies make you wish that you smoked weed, just because you think it would have been a much more amazing experience (or is that just me) it was one of those . . . Like the whole movie was one big 70’s Acid Trip, but so great.  It was one of those movies that once I saw it, I immediatley went to buy the soundtrack, you know one of those type of movies . . . But that really isn’t the point of this blog.

I think that for a while, about since I got out of college, I lost myself.  I got so caught up in fitting in, and doing things they way everyone else did, that I forgot about this side of me.  The side that does things like see Across the Universe, and actually get the movie.  Or go to the Joss Stone concert and stand for 4 hours, because I was feeling the moment. Or watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and not be ashamed of the fact that one of my favorite movies is a movie is about a 1 inch penis having transgendered female.

I’m an odd duck, and I don’t do it on purpose, I just have really weird tastes.  And in college, that got me pretty far.  Everyone on campus knew me, because I was one of those people who went to everything.  I couldn’t get enough of learning new things, and meeting new people, and joining new groups.  I fully believed that Variety was the Spice of My Life.  And somewhere along the way, in my rush to suceed I let go of the things that made me special in the first place.

We all have that one thing that sets us apart from everyone else in the world.  Your sixth toe, or third nipple, or some other strange thing that no one else has, something that is SOLEY yours.  My ecleticness (is that a word) used to me mine.  Not so much being the Token, which has been a re-accuring fear of mine, but the Chamelion.  That girl who could play a trivia game, and win because she knows a little bit about everything.  The girl who could watch Jeopardy, and answer 8/10 correct.

What happened to that girl, where did she go? It seems she got lost in the shuffle of sameness.  Lost in the crowd of people that were all competing to somehow fit in and be accepted.  To excel based soley on my ability to blend in, and be like everyone else.  Except, FUCK, I am so not that person.  Like really, I have never been that person.  And I used to be proud of the fact that people couldn’t label me, and lump me in with everyone else.  As I was arguing with someone last week, I kept saying, “Don’t lump me in with everyone else!”

I think I fear being lumped in.  Being considered the same as everyone else is a fate worse than death to me.  It’s kinda selfish when you think of it, and yet, I would rather be labeled selfish than normal.  Because normal and run of the mill is getting me where exactly? Jobless and Confused.  I wish there was a job that fit me, and not a job that I have to fit.  And yes, that is probably wishful thinking on my part, but still, it doesn’t hurt to dream, lol.

I need to start doing weird shit again . . . Hayrides where I fall and bust my ass, not so much . . . but concerts, and plays, and weird ass clubs.  I gotta get out of my rutt of sameness.  I need some people who want to step out of the box with me, and make our way into the great unknown, ya dig? I need some Beatle’s Fans, and some Joss Stane fans, and some Ben Harper Fans, and some Amy Winehouse Fans, and some Emily King Fans . . . Some Hedwig Fans, and QAF Fans, and Dexter (on Showtime not the Lab) Fans, and The Wire Fans . . . Some weirdos, and freaks, and those who stand out!  I need some people to come out here with me, and just do different stuff because it’s our right to be different.

When I find myself in times of Trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking Words of Wisdom
Let It Be

And in my Hour of Darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of Wisdom
Let It Be

Let It Be, Let It Be
Let It Be, Let It Be
Whisper words of Wisdom
Let It Be

And when the brokenhearted People
Living in this world agree
There will be an answer
Let It Be

Though we may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer
Let it Be

Let It Be, Let It Be
Let It Be, Let It Be
There will be an answer
Let It Be

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