An Open Letter to the Ain’t Shit Nigga Corporation

Real Women Corporation
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 00034
M. Obama, Chief Operating Officer

April 20, 2009

Sirs:

I am writing this letter to voice a complaint I have about your company’s (Ain’t Shit Niggas, Inc.)  product.  Your product has long been responsible for many recalls, defects, and mislabeling.  But recently, is has been brought to our company’s attention that you have been using your product to destroy ours.

Real Women, Inc. has been suffering due to your false advertisement for many years, but there had always been some form of balance between our respective products.  Real Women, Inc prides itself in putting forth the best we have to offer.  All of our products come with Common Sense, Know How, Education, Motivation, Sensitivity, Understanding, Affection, Love, and most other redeeming qualities that your former product (Men of Good Standing, Inc.) needed to compliment it, STANDARD.

However, sometime around the proliferation of the “BET/MTV” mind-set into the market, your company changed it’s name, and began to put out a less than acceptable product.  Those of us at RW, Inc are frankly tired of dealing with your sub-standard offerings.  The consistent flood of your main product, Ain’t Shit Niggas, is leaving a hole in the market that Real Women can not fill by itself.

Once called Men of Good Standing, who came with accessories such as Fidelity, Trustworthiness, Honesty, Maturity, Love, Intelligence, and the ever important RESPECT, it seems as though your new product is in fact the antithesis of this.  During a 6-month investigation of your product, we at Real Women, Inc have uncovered some very disturbing flaws within your new product, The Ain’t Shit Nigga.

1) The Ain’t Shit Nigga was released too early (Read: Immature).  This product tries to assimilate itself into Main Stream Society, but does not have the proper programming to accomplish this goal.  Under the influence of outside attachments (How the Play “The Game”, Keeping Bitches in Check, How to Pull a Video Hoe) and Third Party Accessories (BlackPeopleMeet.com, Redtube.com, Facebook.com), Ain’t Shit Niggas have taken over Men of Good Standing and forced those who were left on the market to downgrade themselves below the standard that was previously expected of them.  Their main product output/goal seems to have become to ruin as many Real Women as possible.  Our Company sees this, as product sabotage.

2) The Ain’t Shit Nigga has began to run it’s own product tests.  It seems the Ain’t Shit Nigga has decided that our product, Real Women has not gone through enough testing.  So the Ain’t Shit Nigga has begun placing Real Women in scenarios which put our product in danger.  From not calling, or comparing our product to it’s competition (The Jump-Off, LLC and/or Side Chick Corp), the Ain’t Shit Nigga is placing unnecessary wear and tear upon our product.  Introducing new attachments, such as Stress, Irritability, Anger, Fear, Doubt, and Low Self-Esteem to our product continues to change it’s make-up.  This results in our Product not being able to perform to the best of it’s ability, once purchased by or passed on to, another consumer.

3) The Ain’t Shit Nigga still comes in the packaging for Men of Good Standing.  This false advertisement has caused many a problem recently.  Real Women interact with this supposed Man of Good Standing, and are later forced to deal with problems they weren’t programmed for.  Issues like Sex ToDay (STD), Baby Mama Invasion, Beat a Bitch Down, and other maladies have forced Real Women to suffer unjustly.

4) Lastly, The Ain’t Shit Nigga has begun to cause our product, Real Women, to malfunction.  Constant abuse, mis-use, and damage has caused our product to become inoperable.  Accessories such as Good Mother, Good Wife, Understanding Partner, Loved Individual have not been used in quite some time.  This lack of use has short circuited the Real Woman main frame, causing serious malfunctions.  Real Women have become weak minded, lost, disoriented, and easily influenced by outside sources (Love Songs Virus, Maybe he Just Needs Time Worm, Maybe I Should Settle Trojan Horse).

This continuous process of your company’s BLATANT disregard for our companies well being has caused us to take the following actions.

a) We insist you take the Ain’t Shit Nigga off the shelves upon fear for litigation.

b) We ask you compensate each Real Woman unit, by purchasing the I am an Asshole, Please Forgive Me Repair Kit.

c) In addition, we ask you no longer compare Real Women to our inferior competition. If your product (The Ain’t Shit Nigga) seeks to be paired with a Jump Off or a Side Chick, please contact those companies for further information.

Please take this letter seriously, as we are very concerned about our product and it’s ability to function on an everyday basis.  If you have any questions about this inquiry, please contact our CEO, Ms. M. Obama, for further instructions.

Thank you,
Real Women Inc.

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One thought on “An Open Letter to the Ain’t Shit Nigga Corporation

  1. From a Friend:

    As a former employee of Ain’t $hit Ni**as, Inc. I too tried to climb my way to the top of their corporate ladder, half way up I realized how damaging their corporate culture was to women, but Black people as a whole. Now that I have a daughter I vow to arm her w/the knowledge of their deceptive advertisements and clever promotionals.
    I am a whistle blower!!!!!!!!

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