Real Nigga Shit (c) AK Vol 10: The 30 is NOT the New 20 Edition

*Changed up the Format a lil’ bit. The old Format will be back for Real Nigga Shit Vol 11: Step Out of the Greek Matrix*
This N*gga Lied . . .

The Move to Arizona was not only about the sucky Michigan economy, it was a way to start over. Because even though people lie and say that you have until you are at least 35 to get it together, why is that acceptable? 30 in NOT the new 20. It’s 30. And by 30, if you are a College Graduate, with ample work experience, and you still live at home with a parent, it just might be you. Everything isn’t the economy/recession. You might be the thing that needs some fixin’.

It’s coming up friends . . .
I’m about to be 30 years old, and I have some regrets. There are at least 3 times in my life where I made a choice that did something that changed my life forever, and not in a good way. I wonder when it became the new thing to pretend that you had everything fIgured out. Like yeah, I’m a Grown Woman, and my life is perfect. To look at your friends, and pretend that you don’t sometimes cry at night because it’s just gotten too hard to handle. That doesn’t make you a messed up female, it makes you human. The difference between me and (most of) my friends, is that I usually admit my flaws.

If I had understood at 14, what I have had to learn the hard way by the age of 27, I would be a different person. If I had stopped talking during Biology, and stayed at Mercy, my whole life would have been different. If I hadn’t made the stupid ass decision in March of 2003, and stayed at UD, I could have been married to (Then) the Man of my Dreams. If I had not fought for that extra 4 dollars an hour, I could be making more money than my mother EVER has.

Ahhhh … Youth
I’ve made some choices, and done some things, and dealt with some people that I am not proud of. (Here comes the part where I turn this around into a positive note) But today, I’m Me. I’m not at the level I want to be. Real Talk, I don’t know when will ever be. But I can’t ever say I didn’t do what I wanted to do. I can never say, I wish I had . . . I made my choices, loved who I wanted to love, went where I wanted to go, did what I wanted to do.

Your 20’s is the time to completely screw up your life. Because the outside world will look at you like, “Oh, she’s just 24, 25, 26, she has no clue what she is doing.” You can get arrested for public Drunkeness, then leave the police station and get on the road to Ohio for the weekend. You can live paycheck to paycheck because you have the need to travel at least once a month. You can be selfish, because it isn’t like you have anyone else that depends on you (unless you have children, but that is a WHOLE different blog). You can do dumb shit, then recover from it. Because You are just learning from life.

But are you really?
But what happens when you are 32, and still have a roommate? That’s not having a budget, that’s not taking care of your responsibilities. What happens when you’re 34, and spend every night at the Club? In every picture that CrushMedia takes, what does that say about you? It’s probably not saying that you’re super photogenic. What happens when you’re 33 and still standing outside your ex’s house yelling because his new girl looked at you crazy when you came to get the kids? Not “I’m a Grown Ass Woman”, that’s for damn sure!

After you get to about 27, it’s time to take stock of your life. Have a small “Quarter Life Crisis” as Eva the Diva would say. This isn’t going to work for everyone. I’m not saying that everyone has to have their life together, I’m just saying that some of us do. It’s time to step out of the Greek Matrix and get a real job. It’s time to stop being a Club Hopper and move out of your mother’s house. It’s time to stop being a damn heaux and find a STABLE relationship.

It’s hard enough to be a Smart, Educated, Common Sense having Black (or White) Person in society. But when all you see on BET, MTV, VH1 is coonery and tomfoolery, it’s time to step up and be better. Try to be better. Society expects us to fail, that is why they were about ready to kill themselves when Obama got Elected. Find a lil’ cousin who spends all their time watching 106 & Park, and take them to a museum. Do something! Because it’s not looking too good right now. The class of 2012 is looking like the Coons of 1889 at this point (STILL PISSED ABOUT WHIP IT LIKE A SLAVE!). Never should watching TV make me want to volunteer at the Boy’s and Girls Club!

I’m Just Sayin’ . . . Our President is Black.
Be the Change you want to see. Stop bitching and complaining On your Twitter, and in your status messages. Stop looking at H.A.M new Greeks, and pull them to the side and HELP THEM OUT. Because they are Killing Greek Life right now! Stop letting lil boy’s curse around you in the store. If their parents aren’t doing it, then you do it. I mean, don’t beat them in the streets but DO SOMETHING.

Because someone did something for you. You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Ms. Davis up the street who used to call your mother when you went past the 3rd tree down the block. At the time you hated her for being a snitch, but that Snitchin’ Ass Old Lady up the Block was looking out for you. She made sure you didn’t get attacked by the killer dog up the street, or the crackhead down the road.

30 is NOT the new 20. It’s 30. Most of the people I tag in this note are probably on the same page as me. Then again, I might be wrong. But I didn’t tag you because I think this is something you need to hear, or because I think your life is in shambles. I tagged you because I trust you to read this, then spread it around to those who aren’t fortunate to be as smart as us 🙂

Thanx for Reading. NOW COMMENT!

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2 thoughts on “Real Nigga Shit (c) AK Vol 10: The 30 is NOT the New 20 Edition

  1. Wow, Marisa…I really liked this one and I feel you! I have always thought about decisions I made and sulked about them, but now I have gotten to a point where I realize that I am still growing. I am also the person I am today because, well, of the mistakes and decisions I made in the past. So, actually they are not mistakes because I am happy with who I am although I know changes need to be made.

    Finally, people also need to realize that if they really want to change who they are for the better and for the sake of maturity, then their 32 year old friend who is drinking the amaretto sour right next to them at the club needs to change as well. Change as in be non-existent or be very distant.

    You didn’t tag me, but thanks for the blog! I really like it.

  2. Whoa! That’s so serious! Lol! And I mean that in a good way.
    But I gotta tell ya, total truth, there are no easy answers to a lot of it. I’ve worked with many a high-powered person, who had relentlessly pursed their “dream”, only to find the usual series of compromises and non-fulfillment that made them question the use of all those years of dogged effort. To only find it ain’t so great there either.
    Do we make mistakes? Sure do. Should I try to find some self-redemption by saying ‘I’d do it all the same again. Because it’s made me, me”? Heck NO! I wish I hadn’t made those decisions of poor judgment. To say otherwise is just trying to excuse away the fact you made a mistake and now gotta live with its consequences. To do otherwise is self deception. I don’t gotta shoot my foot to know how much I like walking normally.
    As far as still partying like its 1999, and you are 30 …? Guess adult life ain’t for you, huh, bubba? LOL. If he’s male, girl, run like hell; he’ll suck your life dry.

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