Confessions of a Single Black Female Vol 6: I Shouldn’t Be Better Than You

We all know that I write these based on my life, and how I feel about the world. Because yes, I see people do stupid stuff, and I judge them based on it. And I am fine with that. At times, I also use these to confess my sin’s and shortcomings, and as with the first 2 editions of this, to passive aggressively tell a dude how I feel about him. This note will be no different. Today, we will be discussing women lowering their standards for the sake of escaping Lonely.

Yes Friends, It Shall.

But I Shouldn’t Be . . .

Confession #25: I Shouldn’t be Better Than You.
Call me a snob, or stuck up, or whatever you want. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I tell myself all the time, to Step My Game Up. So why don’t I require that of you? Why is it ok for me to improve myself, but you won’t? If I am trying to go back to school, why can’t you? Why am I settling for your half-ass way of living? If I am ashamed for living with my father at the age of 27, why aren’t you ashamed that you are 29 and you live with your mom? It doesn’t matter if you had a rough period in your life, 5 YEARS AGO. Are you actively pursuing to get out of your mom’s house? Or are you just “Helping Her with the Bills?” Yes, I should be judging you. The problem is you don’t judge yourself. You haven’t set standards for yourself, so I lower mine so that I can feel better about myself for dealing with you. Men will NEVER get it together, if women keep letting them get away being sub-par. Think about it . . .

Is This You . . . Do You Want It to Be?

Confession #26: He’s Not Looking for His Wife at the Club
He’s not. Unless he is the world’s most confused man, he went to the club to chill with his boys, ogle half-naked women, and maybe find someone to get some ass from. Let’s be honest, didn’t you go to the club for the same reasons? So regardless of what he might tell you at 2 in the morning, he’s most likely not serious. { I say most likely, because I do know a few people who found people they ended up with at a club. It wasn’t a regular club night, it was a function, but still.} But if when he met you, you were half naked, half drunk, and half way humping his leg on the dance floor, he has already put you in the category of freak ass girl. Even if that isn’t you, it’s what you are to him. Is that you? Is that what you would be in front of your parents? Don’t let these video “models” make you think that Slut is the new Wifey. It ain’t, and it never will be. Once again, why are you lowering your personal standards, to get some momentary affection? I know that Lonely is a tough place to be, but so is Jump Off, Club Rat, and Freak Ass Girl. Try going somewhere else to find a husband, man, boyfriend, significant other. Now, if you are looking for your next sexual partner, then DO YOU. Because he will.

Maybe He Should . . .

Confession #27: Trust Your Judgment
You have gut instincts for a reason. If he says something off the wall, question him! When did it become okay to avoid the obvious, for the sake of “Happiness”? Are you really happy? Every time he comes home late, or doesn’t call you, are you happy? If he tells you to meet him at the local Circle K (7-11 for my Detroit People) and he then walks over to the passenger side of your car, and you don’t ask why he’s not getting in his car – you look stupid. When he tells you that he lost his car keys, but he works for the same company that makes his car, HE’S A LIAR. If he has enough time to twitter every hour on the hour, but can’t return a phone call from a week ago, He’s Just Not That Into You. How many times can you ignore what’s in your face, before it beats you upside your head? If you can’t name 5 times when he has proven himself worthy, but you can name at least 10 when he’s shown himself to be a flake – Why are you with him again?

I Love This Musical!

Confession #28: Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better
I can do anything better than you. That mindset is KILLING relationships. It’s killing women everyday, trying to be a man. YOU AREN’T ONE! And that’s okay. This is coming from a Single Woman looking at many of the messed up relationships my friends are in. You spent all this time looking for a “Real Man” then you emasculate him at every turn. If you want to get biblical about it, you are supposed to submit to your husband/man/significant other. That doesn’t mean he is supposed to run all over you, but you are supposed to let him be the man. Remember, you aren’t supposed to be better than your man. And if you are, you aren’t supposed to make him feel bad about it.

Example #1: If you are a Lawyer, and your Man is a teacher, respect him for his choice. It’s what he choose to do. It doesn’t make you better than him. He’s not beneath you because of his Salary/Life Choice. As long as he is doing his best, he is still your equal.

Example #2: Looks aren’t everything. Most of the extremely beautiful men I know are complete assholes. People spend so much time stroking their egos, they aren’t worth a damn. He’s not better than you because the Lord chose to put his face together like that, stop thinking that he is. It still stinks when he farts, and occasionally there will still be skid marks in his underwear.

Example #3: “Pretty” women are ruining it for EVERYONE! Ya’ll think every man in the world owes you something, and you treat men like crap. So after you break his heart, and I have to pick up the pieces, he’s bitter and angry. Stop being pretty and get your life right. One day, someone is going to show you just how pretty they are, and ruin your life. Just Sayin’ (And no, I’m not saying that I’m ugly.)

Thank you for letting me get all that off my chest. I hope something I wrote inspired you to leave a comment, because I base my self-worth on how many comments I get on my blogs/notes. Seriously, you don’t want to diminish my self worth do you? DO YOU?