Open Book (c) Esoteric Eric: Pieces of Me

It is my opinion, that we as human beings come into the world Broken.

Part of you will forever belong to your mom, who birthed you, and your father who contributed to the whole conception process. We come into the world with pieces missing. Its the job of your parents to in turn, give you a piece of them, to fill in those parts that are missing.

Often times, the people responsible for making you whole at birth don’t do that job, so we begin our lives broken. We find different ways to replace those parts – Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll – but unless we find a filler, we are broken. And that is just want Sex, Drugs, and Irresponsible Living are, FILLERS. Empty things we use to ease the pain of those broken parts of ourselves.

As we walk through life, we give away pieces of ourselves in so many different ways. You might give one to that guy who smiles at you when you order at Starbucks – the part of you that needs to be recognized. You might give one to the boy/girl/woman/man who broke your heart for the first time – the part of you who jumps head first into love. You might give one to your best friend – the part that allows you to be free enough to be honest at all times.

The problem is, we take pieces of them too. The guy at Starbucks, he gave you the part of him that knows when you will be in that day. The person who broke your heart, they gave you their heart as well (though it might have been damaged and broken from the start). Your best friend, they gave you that piece of them that allows you to listen to their problems without passing judgment.

We Are All Broken.

Today was one of the most amazing days of my life. I got paid to stand in front of 100+ teachers, and tell them what I think they should do in their classrooms. How Awesome is that!?! I gave them something I can never get back – my first time speaking at a State Conference. That will never happen again, there will never be another first time, so those 100+ people all have a part of me, whether they know it or not.

But the whole time I was having this amazing awesome experience, I knew I couldn’t share it with someone who would understand exactly what that felt like. Someone that I could call and just say “OMG, I almost shit myself when people started clapping in the middle of my presentation!” So part of me that was supposed to be gone today, is still there. It’s like an ingrown toenail, just nagging me every time I walk, because it doesn’t fit in that spot. It has grown past it.

Often times we get caught up in how we feel when things go wrong. What my feelings are about what the other person did/said/saw. Me Me Me! We forget, just like the part we gave to that person was damaged, they were damaged too.

It’s quite easy for me to cut people off when they make me mad. Until Monday, I didn’t know that by cutting someone off, I was taking a piece of them away, and not replacing it.

You have to replace the pieces you take. If you don’t, that person can become an empty shell of the person they were, and when that empty shell has reached the point where nothing they try will fill that void left by all the broken piece, they often take drastic measures to get rid of that pain.

For my Grey’s Anatomy Fans, you know what I mean when I say, You Might Be Someones Person. Just because they aren’t your person, doesn’t mean you aren’t theirs. The measure of a good friend is that you don’t let petty shit get in the way of LIFE. I’ve made many mistakes this year, as I try to navigate this new exciting period of my life. I’ve let my People down.

Don’t forget how it feels when someone steals a piece of you. Replace those pieces. Give and Take. Find the Balance. It might just save a life.

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