Real Nigga Shit (c) AK: Volume 13 – Have You No Couth?!? Things that Pissed me the F*ck Off in 2009

Yes, this is going to be an angry blog. I don’t have any sage advice, or things to think about for you this time. This is all about ME, and why I am always so damn angry. Yes, I have high standards. But in 2009, people went far beyond what I could excuse, and went right into just doing Dumb Shit. These are in no particular order, one is not more important than the other. Enjoy.

Similarities?

1) Nikki Minaj

Her name alone pisses me off. But it’s more what she seems to represent. Sub-par rap lyrics + Half Nekkid Whore Look = Success!

HAVE YOU NO COUTH?!?

I don’t wanna see you squatting spread eagle licking a lollipop. WTF, put that inside your album cover as a poster like Lil’ Kim did. You are trying to be like her right? Take a lesson from your mentor, she did it better. You can’t rap. At least Lil’ Kim has a sick ass flow.

You rap about dumb shit, and you empower dumb hood broads to say they are a Barbie Doll. WTF Dude! Not only did she sample, “I don’t wanna go to Mexico No More More More” {a childhood favorite of mine} in a gotdamn rap, but she she actually rhymed Bestest with the word asbestos. Really Heaux, Fucking Really?????

I hate you. I hope you read this and understand that I hate you. I might email it to you, but that would mean that you actually knew how to use a computer for more than cybersex and googling pics of Lil’ Kim. Sorry, I’ll put it in the mail for you.

Not the Business!

2) Public Displays of Affection

I don’t diss your love. I congratulate you for your relationship. I do not, however, want to pull up into my parking spot and see you and your man dry humping in the building. This is your job heaux!

HAVE YOU NOT COUTH?!?!?

When was it EVER ok to be in front of the counter making out with your man? When!!!! And not only were you sucking his face, but you had the nerve to – on more than one occasion – move into the corner of the store, like I still couldn’t see you. BITCH THE WALLS ARE MADE OF GLASS!!! I F*cking See You! So does everyone else in the complex.

No matter how much you love your man, he should respect you enough to not have you looking like a dime store trick AT YOUR GOTDAMN JOB!!!!! I really had a mind to call corporate, because that shit was just inappropriate. Then he walked out the door when I walked up. Like I didn’t know all about his stroke game after watching him give his girl the dry-hump dick down for 20 minutes. Just dammit man.  Speaking of asshole Boyfriends . . .

HINT HINT HINT!

3) Asshole Boyfriends/Fiance’s/Husbands

The litany, All Men are Dogs, has been run into the ground. Most men aren’t dogs. There are those who have happy relationships without drama. They exist, someone just found them first. But the men/boys/assholes I’m seeing lately are like a whole new breed of man. This is the man that does his dirt, in the open, and doesn’t care who he hurts in the process.

HAVE YOU NO COUTH?!?!

2,457 strangers know all your business and the only girl who doesn’t accept your status as a douchebag is your girlfriend/fiance/wife. These men must have the Dick Game of the New Millennium, because I am truly baffled. Tiger Woods, you fucking IDIOT. The reason your dad got away with it was because your mother was Thai, and it wasn’t in her nature to cause a ruckus {No Relation}. But you go and marry a Swedish girl, and hump every waitress you could on the PGA Circuit, and you thought that was okay?

I blame Kobe’s Wife for starting this shit. Your husband was on trial for RAPE and you stayed. Now you got men humping anything with fake boobs and white teeth, and thinking that offering their wife some form of monetary reward to Stand By Her Man will suffice. I hate you Kobe’s Wife. This is All your Fault.

No Words are really needed . . .

4) Stupid B*tch Girlfriends/Fiance’s/Wives

Let that Nigga GO! I don’t care how much he tells you he will never do it again, he’s going to. Unless he was raped, there was a point when he said to himself, Imma F*ck this girl, and I’m okay with it. She didn’t seduce him, she didn’t trap him, she got the dick down cuz he wanted to give it to her. Stop bitching to your girls about how you just don’t know how to keep your man, and let that nigga go! He don’t wanna be with you. And stop placing all the blame on the half nekkid heauxs at the club.

Have You No Self-Respect?!?! HAVE YOU NOT COUTH?!?!?

Why weren’t you there with him? Why would you let him go out to a club without taking care of him real quick? Why would you NOT question him the first time he lied? Why would you NOT kick his ass out the first time he came in at 4 in the morning, drunk and half dressed. Men do what we allow them to do. Stop blaming the other woman, and think about what you did/didn’t do to make him think you wouldn’t care what he did.

Love your self enough to know that someone else should love you. “Well, you know it’s hard for a big girl…” “Well you know it’s hard for us Dark Skinned Girls….” “Well you know it’s hard for men to date women who make more money than they do….” It’s not hard. Ya’ll don’t expect them to, so they don’t. If you have to change yourself to get him to pay attention to you, HE DIDN’T WANT YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

I bet you think this part is about you . . .

5) Internet Whores

In the era of FaceBook, MySpace, Twitter, Linked In, etc. The Rise of the Internet Whore can almost be scientifically charted. I miss the days of BlackPlanet and College Club, when all your business wasn’t out there, and you could pretend that you had self-respect. Now a days, all you need is a Skype, an email account, and a webcam, and you can whore yourself to the next man you meet.

HAVE YOU NO COUTH?!?!?

Not only are you building a reputation, but the internet is NOT the best way to prove your sexual prowess. You just think you sent that pic to @igottadick4u, you actually just got added to a file that he shares with all his friends, fraternity brothers, and twitter followers. I PERSONALLY have a file of FB Peen on my home computer, what makes me think dudes don’t have a file too?

You proving how slutty you can be doesn’t make him like you more. It won’t make him want to date you. All you get out of it is some Textual Seduction or some Fiber Optic Copulation. At the end of the day, you still look like a whore to those around you. Love yourself. Because he dont/won’t. He only talks to you on a regular because it costs $12.99 to get porn On Demand.

PLEASE!

6) Negro Youth & Twitter

I know I already blogged about it, but dammit they keep doing dumb shit. I’m not even going to try to explain half the songs I hear on the radio. I’m not even going to go into how the educational system sets them up to fail. Not even going to pontificate on how Racism has gone from Jim Crow to James Crowe, Esq. Nope, not even going to talk about that.

I can just discuss recent Twitter Trending Topics. Besides the fact that they are often spelled wrong {#younoyourfat}, could the mindset of the youth be more fucked up. Twitter was fun until the niggers discovered it. Now my timeline is flooded with shit like,{ @bowwow614 I wanna be a Kappa, imma pledge next week}. And 40000000000 stupid ignorant females ReTweeting his shit. Not to mention #twitterafterdark

HAVE YOU NO COUTH?!?!?

Did you know that when you apply for a job the FIRST thing they do, before they even check your references, is google your name? They find your MySpace, FB, Twitter pages. Google indexes them. So unless you are smart enough to make all your pages private, there goes that job opportunity. You were wondering why they didn’t call you back, even though you were highly qualified. Could have been that FB Status you had up last night: {Lac3y ISukkGudDick 4MyManzNEm is watching Ghetto Chicks who suck Monster Dick #45. I’m learning alot!}

Get You Mind Right . . . . Just Dammit F*ck!

7) Chris Brown and Rihanna

Yes, this WHOLE THING Pissed me off. I don’t care if you think I’m wrong, it’s my f*cking opinion! Yes, Chris Brown beat her down. He beat her like she stole something. He was wrong, it’s never right to hit a woman, blah blah blah . . . BUT

It’s also never right to hit a man in his face. Or hit a person period. My uncles and Big Brothers all told me, if you hit a man in his face, you lose the right to say, But I’m a Girl. When you hit a man in his face, you are basically saying you are his equal, and he will beat you as such. That is the mindset of most men I know, right or wrong. I don’t care how mad at you I am, I will never hit you in your face { or hit you in the balls}. But really Walmart, REALLY?!?!?

HAVE YOU NO COUTH?!?!?!

Ya’ll can sell R. Kelly’s Albums, but you can’t put Chris Brown on the shelf?!?! R. Kelly PISSED ON AN UNDERAGED GIRL. IN HER MOUTH, ALL OVER HER. But Chris Brown is a horrible person?!? The issue had nothing to do with his talent as a singer. Yeah, the endorsements had to go, but to deliberately sabotage this young mans career. He made a mistake, his temper got the best of him. He apologized, her wore that damn BowTie, what more must he do!!! He was 19 at the time . . . R. Kelly was like 40.

Please Note:If you didn’t have such good deals on the groceries I needed, I would never shop in your stores. And if I bought music, I would never buy it from you. Know that I give your greeters the evil eye every time I walk in your store. And I never put my cart in the little cart thingie when I’m done. So there *insert head/neck/eye roll here*

This was a long one, so thanks for reading! Comments/Questions/Concerns are welcomed

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2 thoughts on “Real Nigga Shit (c) AK: Volume 13 – Have You No Couth?!? Things that Pissed me the F*ck Off in 2009

  1. OK…I just want you to know that you have not a dayum piece of sense.

    *but lowkey, all that you wrote was the truth…plain and simple*

    You don’t like it…..eff wit it then. *kanye shrug*

    Yeah, I GOTS to add you to the blogroll. You should do the same with mine.

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