This began as a twitter rant and I wanted to share it on FB as well…
The insecurity that comes from being attracted to someone often leaves me in an emotional state that makes me dislike myself. On one hand….I know my personal worth and I acknowledge my short comings as well.
But becuz I am often attracted to men of a higher caliber than I deem myself, I always feel that I fall short.
There is a reason I have only slept with men I don’t respect/admire/care for ir anything but a sexual level. There is no possibility of rejection becuz in my eyes I am probably either in their level or above it.
The few men I have been attracted to intellectually hve intimidated me to such an extent (through no fault or action on their part that I choose to remain friends with them rather than face the possibility of rejection.
So my Single Black Woman status is actually based on Fear than personal choice.
Which is to actually say I hve choose Fear over Happiness in the past……