Open Book (c) Esoteric Eric: But It Only Hurt . . . The First Time

When I first saw you, It was though the eyes of a child.

Starry eyed,  in awe of your intelligence.

I was amazed, and attracted to, your face, your body, your lifestyle. . . . . . But You Didn’t See Me.

The rejection wasn’t blatant, but it was there.  But It Only Hurt . . . . .  the First Time.

I came up with a plan, to get you to notice me.

Listened to music I had no way of understanding,

asking questions I already knew the answers to.

I did everything I could to get your attention.

“I was a Man, I wouldn’t notice a Child,” . . .

Hearing that Only Hurt . . . . The First Time.

16 years later, I have all the attention I wanted from you then.

I replay our conversations constantly, trying to figure out what is different  . . . THIS TIME

I question, “Why all of a sudden,  do you see me?”

And I FEAR the day you won’t again.

I know how important you have become to me, so quickly

“You need to stop being afraid of what may happen, and live in the moment.”

I have no idea what I’m doing. . . Because It Only Hurt . . . . The First Time.

I lay next to you, and just touch you . . . I know you find it strange.

When I was younger, that was all I wanted to know . . . .

The feel of you next to me, breathing on my skin, talking about nothing and everything

Knowing that you have a choice to be anywhere else, and You Still Choose Me.

I don’t sleep when you are next to me, I’m taking the time to soak it all in.

Looking at your face, and trying to commit everything to memory.

The feel of your skin, the touch of your hands, the weight of your body,

Every moment that I can treasure later. . . .

Because It Only HURT . . . . The First Time you Turned Your Back to Me


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