*woot woot* Big Eddie LongStroke *woot woot*

Shoutout to @ambboogie for the title

I tried  so hard not to say anything.  I really did.  Sometimes I tend to rant about things, and I know that it’s really just me and my issues.  But, the divisiveness that is this Eddie Long{Stroke} Scandal has created is BEGGING to be blogged about. Folks have unfriended people on FB, and stopped talking to family members.  HAVE YOU PEOPLE LOST YOUR FUCKING MINDS?!?!?

I have already acknowledged to myself that most black people who consider themselves deeply religious aren’t. I have already acknowledged that I will never feel right in a church that stands and claps for three minutes every time their Pastor walks into a room.  I have already acknowledged that at some point most black people who belong to mega churches stopped having a relationship with God and started trying to praise their Pastor instead.

But you mean to tell me that only Catholic Priests have inappropriate relationships with boys?!?  That only republican senators can vehemently oppose homosexuality, and be practicing it at the same time.  You fucking SHEEP!!!! They SAID God called them! Did GOD send you a letter in the mail telling you, “Edward Long speaks to and for me,” no??? Then how do you know that this man isn’t just really charismatic, and realized that the world’s greatest hustle is being the Pastor of a Mega Church.  Because it is.

Note The Smirk

Any man arrogant enough to ordain himself a BISHOP, of a Non-Demoninational Church is, JUST, an asshole.

Yes, I believe there are men and women that GOD has called to help others.  However,  in my opinion, they are few and far between.  I’m actually willing to bet that the majority of the people who GOD called to lead/serve aren’t even preachers, let alone members of a church. Every Man of Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahd isn’t a Godly Man.  {I learned this the hard way, seeing my dead beat father PROSPER in the church. *Le Sigh*}

This blind faith in a MAN is, again in my opinion, why things like this Eddie Long scandal have even happened. What mother in her right mind is going to allow a grown ass man to move her 17-year-old son into a house by himself, and not question his motives? More than likely, these mothers were so excited that “Bishop” had taken an interest in their child that they didn’t even think about why he was interested.

Cuz, this is what YOUR pastor sent to minors . . .

Coming from the city of Detroit, I can honestly say I know a lil’ something about the Mega Church Mentality. When I got back from college, I joined one of my city’s Mini-Mega Churches.  My Member number is 3120, and I joined in 2003 . . . Last thing I knew, the member numbers had hit about 9045.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Love LOVE my church. I love the music, the atmosphere, and the overall mission statement. I also love my Pastor, as a human being.

HOWEVER, working for the same Church you attend is an eye-opening experience. Everything looks pretty on Sunday morning, its Wednesday night that really shows you what the church was about.  Some things that showed me that EVERY church has it’s flaws and hustles.

  • I was once told I didn’t tithe enough, and that if I needed help with it they could just take it out of my check for me.
  • The letter that we got at the end of every year, suggesting that we as members start the new year off right by giving a sacrificial offering at the Watch Night Service (That’s New Years Eve Service for my non-black readers). The requested amount $800
  • When my Pastor returned to the Church, after surviving Prostate Cancer, the Men’s ministry bought him a Bentley. A Fully Loaded, Black on Black, Bentley. But they don’t have a scholarship fund 0_o
  • One day, a lady came running into the office, requesting to speak with the Pastor.  She said her husband was dying, and she just needed someone to pray with her, because she was losing faith. She was told that she needed to make an appointment, and someone would call her.

You gotta admit, he does have a nice body tho . . . too soon?

If anyone ever read the bible, they could use it to justify anything. The same book that says homosexuality is a sin says that eating shellfish, wearing poly-cotton blends, and growing corn and soy together in the same field will send you to hell. It’s a book people, not God’s personal doctrine. People wrote the Books of the Bible, NOT JESUS.  He wasn’t even alive to write it. And the book that you call manna from heaven was put together by a council of men, who picked and chose what they felt it should say.

Black People, yes, I’m talking to you right now.  Stop following men like Eddie Long, and T.D. Jakes, and Creflo {His Mama didn’t love him at all} Dollar. The only place they are going to lead you is into debt and shaky faith. The very people who most need the money they have, spend it on books/cds/tapes these men sell at FULL RETAIL PRICE, telling them things they already know about their life.  Do they offer solutions to their problems?? Maybe? But frequently, the answer is, Tithe more. God will Notice, and bless you. Unless they have God’s fax Number and/or he audit’s their monthly deposits, GOD really has no way of knowing what you gave.  But “Bishop” does.  So does his accountant, his financial advisor, and his stock broker.

They Spinnin' Nigga they Spinnin'

You don’t need a man to lead you to God. He’s everywhere if you look around you. To paraphrase the Bible, “ALL MEN FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF THE LORD”, or something like that. You will falter, its in your nature as a human. Because that is what Eddie Long is, a human. Who has some things he needs to admit to himself and the thousands of people who follow him. If you are going to pass judgement on him, make sure you acknowledge your flaws as well…..

This right Here . . . Explains EVERYTHING (T.I. being prayed over at New Birth Ministries)

I’m just saying

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5 thoughts on “*woot woot* Big Eddie LongStroke *woot woot*

  1. If this aint the truth I don’t know what is!! His body is BANGING heyyyyyyy Eddie… hmmm I wonder if that stroke IS long (too soon?) Anywho… I also hate Creflo Dollar mama for THAT foolishness… But what you said is completely true and I think it happens to be worse in the faith of black communities… I met a Muslim brother and his beliefs simple and their Mosques are full of the foolishness… All those people going crazy over Eddie just mad cuz they wanted to get sexed by them himself.. I hope he doesn’t take the bitch way out and kill himseld…

  2. You spoke volumes when you said “If anyone ever read the bible, they could use it to justify anything. ”

    I concur!!! This who scandal is a mess. Pastors who suck penis then condemn it the next day make me sad 😦

  3. It seems like you left me hanging at the end…. I want more of this blog. I’m soooo with you. I dont disagree with anything- except, it was the DEVIL that made her move her son into that man’s house. She needed to tithe more and REBUKE thee.

  4. #latepass Hiya Sister! I’m baaaaaaaaaaaack!

    And this speaks nothing but TRUTH (which I’m not surprised about). Although you know I am a devoutly Christian man, I have to agree with you on the majority of this. (some of it, I’m on the fence about, but that’s just a difference in opinions.)

    Well stated!

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