Preference or Groupie Luv . . .

*For the purposes of this blog, no organization has been specifically named, but you aren’t stupid (hopefully).*

 

Whenever I hear the word Groupie I think of certain people, and certain actions.  So when I was called a Groupie by someone that knows me very well, I was taken aback.  Not so much insulted, but it did give me pause.  Have I presented myself as a Groupie in recent years? Is this what people think of me? The next question I had to ask was, how do you define a Groupie?

 

According to Dictionary.com a Groupie can be defined as:

1) an ardent fan of a celebrity, esp a pop star: originally, often a girl who followed the members of a pop group on tour in order to have sexual relations with them
2) an enthusiastic follower of some activity: a political groupie

 

I am a member of a Black Greek Lettered Organization {BGLO}.  This must be stated, so that the next few paragraphs have some frame of reference.  My Sorority has a Brother organization.  While most other BLGO’s claim connection to org’s of the opposite sex, they are not “Constitutionally Bound” as we are. Having grown up as an only child, the prospect of having a nationwide network of Sisters and Brothers greatly appealed to me, and was one of the many selling points when choosing to join my Sorority.

 

 

FACT: I don’t like females. I never have.  We, as a species are full of emotions, and drama, and BS. I realized long ago that dealing with males brought less of the three aformentioned qualities into my life.  So, even before I became a member of my Fine Organization, I spent most of my time with males. It was easier to converse and feel safe and unjudged in the presence of males.

So imagine the surprise of most of my childhood friends when I joined a Sorority.  “You mean you volunteerally choose to spend a large part of your college life in the presence of women? That doesn’t even make any sense.” Yet, I love the tenets of my Sorority.  I love everything that it, as an organization, stands for.  I also love the fact that I am affiliated with it for the rest of my life. I honestly didn’t understand how much my Brothers would impact my life.

 

BUT, joining my Sorority didn’t magically make my proclivity to befriend members of the male species go away.  In fact, because the Men I know called Brother were such Men of High Standard, it made me want to spend more time around “My Brothers.” {Sometimes, I hang out with my Sorors.  But the majority of them that I have met and liked I knew before I was Greek or we met using a social medium where we connected based on personality and not the fact that we belonged to the same Sorority.}

 

IMO, a Groupie is a person that goes out of their way to belong to a certain group. A Groupie spends time and substantial effort to make him/herself noticed by this particular group, in order to feel welcomed, loved, and/or accepted.  But, what if you already belong to the group? If you spend the majority of your time with that group because of your affiliation with them, does that make you a Groupie?

If it’s understood that you naturally gravitate toward a certain caliber of people, or look for certain qualities in the people that you associate with, how are you being a Groupie? Based on the stated definition, you aren’t trying to gain acceptance.  You have already been accepted into the group.

I spent most of my time in college {post college as well} with other members of BGLO’s. Most of the people I knew that were in that select group of people thought the way that I did.  We had the same view of the world.  In the reference to the male members of these BGLO’s they are still men. On occasion, I have found myself attracted to some of them.  Not because they were members of these organizations {okay, well maybe a lil’ bit}, but because they were cute, funny, intelligent, etc.

 

 

For the purposes of this blog, I will admit that the majority of the men I have been involved with have been members of my Brother Organization. Not because I actively sought them out, but because I spent most of my time in the presence of members of my Brother Organization.  So does that make me a groupie . . . .

Or just a Whore?

*Okay, I’m not a whore. The purpose of that statement was to create a dramatic segway to my conclusion.  Not my confessions of whoredom.  Focus people.*

 

As a healthy female looking for a mate, I have certain preferences. BGLO’s have just taken care of the vetting process for me.  Why can’t I use my affilation to find suitable mates? Why must I be considered a Groupie/Whore because I choose to surround myself with a specific group of people?  If I happen to date someone in a group in which I am already considered a member, how does the word Groupie even apply?

 

This is not to say, that I haven’t done Groupiesque things, in order to get the attention of a specific male.  This male could even be a member of my Brother Organization.  But at a certain point, his affiliation is no longer relevant.  There are PLENTLY members of my Brother Organization and other BGLO’s that I can’t stand, and make it a point to never be around.  The same can be said about my Sorors,

BUT, if the range of people in which you are currently associating with is considered a group {and by extension you are a member of that group} in and of itself, are you really a Groupie? This blog could be my way of justifying my actions, or my thoughts, or my using the Matrix as my own personal dating service.  All these things could be true, but HONESTLY, what do you think?

 

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4 thoughts on “Preference or Groupie Luv . . .

  1. My dear friend and SisterGreek
    1) To paraphrase a great Tori Amos verse, sometimes the answer to the question lies in the question.
    2) If dating someone from your group, social circle, organization, etc. Defines a groupie, then everyone is a groupie in some respect, especially so for BGLOs. The problem is a lot of people don’t distinguish between relationships resulting from being a member of a group and joining a group expressly to date or make friends with members based on that group’s status

  2. Naw, that doesn’t make u a groupie. You know who u like to kick it wit so kick it wit em. F what u heard. As long as u aint f’in the crew u aint a groupie.

  3. Eff then other n*ggas over there.

    Actually, don’t. Cause that would make you a groupie.

    Everyone dates/f*cks within their circle. And if you take the sexual connotation away from it, aren’t you just an avid supporter?

    You’ll be aight twin.

  4. The question isn’t are you a groupie, it is why does this bother you so much? I am new to your blog, but from reading just a couple entries, you come across as a strong and accomplished person who is not easily swayed by others’ opinions or perceptions. If this is particularly bothersome, reconsider your values, morals, and actions. That said, while I don’t think my perception is any more valueable than yours, from what you shared I don’t read groupie.

    By the way, are you particularly invested in the ‘friend’ that called you a groupie?

    I wish that you continue to be comfortable and confident enough to surround yourself with people, regardless, of gender who support you, help you grow and develop lasting memories in this too short life.

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