Dear Black People, Love Jones is a Stupid F*cking Movie . . .

Yes, I singled the Black People out in this one.  I know that there are other races that watch Loves Jones.  I totally know that, however, in certain circles of African American People (ages 25 – 35) this movie is the mecca of all things Black Love. When this movie came out {1997}, I was 15.  My mother wouldn’t let me see it because it was rated R. Based on everything my friends said, I was quite upset that I wasn’t able to finally understand what Love really was.

Junior year of College, I finally saw Love Jones.  I Didn’t Get It. I watched the whole movie, and I didn’t get it.  I was waiting for the moment that made things new again, and created this “Epiphany of Epic Proportions.” Imagine my surprise, when I discovered that it was really just a movie about people that went to a poetry club? I will admit, the chemistry between Nina {Nia Long} and Darius {Sexy Fine Ass Larenz Tate} was exceptional. I will go even further and say, the verbal interplay was decent. But this movie should, in NO WAY, be a guide on how to find love.

I now present to you, The Top 5 Reasons

Love Jones is a STUPID F*CKING MOVIE!


Reason Number 5: He Stalked Her

He asked for her number twice, she said no. He got her number off a check that she wrote and went to her house. REALLY?!?!? What Black Woman do you know is going to let a perfect stranger in her HOUSE after he stalked her??  Like, I know he’s fine and everything, but really.  The beginning of this whole relationship is fraudulent. She just opens the door, calls him out for 15 seconds, then lets him in the house? If this was a booty call, then it would make total sense.  But it wasn’t. She don’t know him, and he was at her house.  I call Bullshit!

Reason Number 4: She Smashed the Homies!

In what black circle of friends {non-greek} do you know a girl who can be in a serious relationship with one member of the group, break up with that person, then hump on another member of that group? He made this heaux Cheese Omelettes, and she slept with his boy, and no one thought to call her out, but HIM?!?

Lisa Nicole: “You just sorta slipped and fell on his dick?”

then, this heaux says, ” It was like his Dick just . . . talked to me,”

LN: “What it Say?”

She was foul as hell for that, yes I’m Judging. And please, what BLACK dude actually owns a hearse that doesn’t own a funeral home? Us Nigra’s don’t like Haints, and he gone drive around inviting them to come kick it?


Reason Number 3: Nina’s Poem was Whack

It is the color of light, the shape of sound. High in the evergreens, it lies suspended in hills, a blue line in a red sky. I am looking at a sound.  I am hearing the brightness of high bluffs and almond trees, I am tasting the wilderness of lakes rivers and streams caught in an angle in song.  I’m remembering the water the glows in the dawn, the motion tumbled in earth, life hidden in mounds. I am dancing a bright beam of light. I am remembering… love . . .

Seriously…….  Love is a Tree, an evergreen tree? What Negro Child grew up around evergreen trees? Bish, you lived in New York.  If you had said “Love is the Snow that drifts from Upstate New York.” I might have believed you. But lakes rivers and streams?!?! I Don’t Believe You, You Need More People!

Reason Number 2: Why Couldn’t the Big Girl get some Attention?

Lisa Nicole Carson was the only believable character in this movie.  She said what everyone else should have been thinking.  She even tried to help Darius get to Nina before she left.  As they started their relationship is a stalker type mode, that phone call was a perfect way to say it.  Why did she have to be the lonely big girl friend who just offered support and funny one liners. {I could be biased on this one}


Reason Number 1: What the hell was Darius Talking about in his Poem?

Now, do they call you Daughter to the Spinning Pulsar… or maybe Queen of 10,000 moons? Sister to the Distant yet Rising Star? Is your name Yemaya? Oh, hell no. Its got to be Oshun.

The F*ck is this nigga talking about?!?  You know you had to Google all of them names.  This is why the Pegro’s love this movie, cuz you feel smart if you can relate.  Yemaya is actually referring to a Goddess.  In Yoruba she’s the Goddess of Pregnancy, in Umbanda she is the Queen of the Ocean, in Santeria she is the Mother of all living things. Do you know how long it took me to find that information? I lost 10 minutes of my LIFE figuring that out. I should NOT have to have an advanced degree in African-based Religions to watch a Mu’F*ckin’ Movie!

Ya’ll know you didn’t actually start paying attention until Darius started talking about the sex.  Lets just discuss the most popular  line of the poem.

And right now… I’m the blues in yourleft thigh… trying to become the funk in your right.

Ummmmmmm, seriously? He’s trying to be her Restless Leg Syndrome? The BLUES in my Left thigh? So my left thigh is sad? It’s not pleased with the choices I have made for it? And my Right thigh is in a Funk?? It’s pissed off because it doesn’t get what it wants? Why are you trying to mimic that? I just don’t understand?

*Note: I get the gist of the poem, I’m not retarded. But it’s JUST a fly poem. Not the end all, be all of Spoken Word . . .


Other things that bother me:

*Love is urgent like a Mu’fucka?
*Really, we just gone stand in the rain and talk, who DOES that?
*This n*gga ran to catch a train, and didn’t call her to say he did?
*You waited a whole year, and THAT was what you said about the Love you had for him?
*Why was Bill Bellemy even in the movie?
*The Chick with the Braids? Why was she the only person with common sense, and she was single?

The Moral of this blog: This Movie is just that . . . . A. Movie. The best thing about this movie, the Soundtrack.  Now THAT is awesome.  It takes you to a very calm and peaceful, grown up place.  If you are trying to get your Grown and Sexy on, I highly recommend just popping that CD in, and gettin’ to work!

“Can I Play Something for you?”

You don’t have to agree with me, I already know I’m right. I won’t even judge you for your comment that is going to defend everything I just proved was f*cking stupid about this movie.  Share this blog with friends, so they can yell at me too! But again, Love Jones is a Stupid F*cking Movie.


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37 thoughts on “Dear Black People, Love Jones is a Stupid F*cking Movie . . .

  1. In the Words of TREACH(from the Rap Group Naughty by Nature) : If you ain’t Never been to the Ghetto, You wouldn’t understand the ghetto, Stay the F#$* Out of the Ghetto!

    Ain’t no more Stoopid than SEINFELD! LOL: )

    • Is your comment meant to infer that i dont understand Love Jones cuz ive never been to a poetry club? Or ive never been in a relationship? Or in love? Cuz you would be wrong on all of that.

      And yes, Seinfield was a stupid fucking show as well.

  2. Wow…you must have watched it recently. My thought are……..
    1) its just a movie, I’m sorry if you thought a movie would help you know what true love is
    2) It was sexy as hell…..connecting through poetry takes black folk to a deeper level than food, church, oprah or hip hop
    3) it was a breath of fresh air to see a love story in 97 told in a movie after the pain expressed in black theatre about the hood, pimps and hos, drug slinging, drive bys, crack and AIDS
    4) There is always a token black person in a non black movie, asian is the new token….now, its big girls and old ppl, go figure 😦
    5) Nia Long is FINE

  3. wow this blog was…. smh w/e. but it’s sound real ignorant and uneducated lor more say close minded. & it’s clear you don’t understand the movie or the poetry. i think you ned to watch it again & esp if you watched it in college & you thinking like this? lmao i’m suprised you even went to college if you can’t even understand the depth of simplistic poetry in this movie.

  4. Did you create this post just to get a reaction? Attention?
    LOL! Well, you damn sure did get it, and mines for all of 23 seconds.

    “Love Jones” = classic movies like “Claudine”.
    Wake up.

    “You wont be around next year…”
    – Craig Mack

  5. I just had a conversation with my fiancé (not that the topic of Love Jones is solely gender based) about things I just don’t get but understand about women. Love Jones has been my Movie Mecca of black love and I feel no need to defend my opinion but at the same time welcome your opinion on it. While I feel some of your opinions are valid the truth about the poems is they should challenge you to expand your knowledge, gain further understanding and challenge your mind to create vivid imagery from words. The beauty of words is that one can grow up in New York and express through imagery where she believe love lies or what it may look like figuratively. It was refreshing to read your comments, ideas and opinions as I believe we grow from dissent and not from eternal acceptance. Keep Blogging and challenging!

  6. lmao, SMH, thats your fault for holding out so long and placing too much hope on a movie to answer some kind of life love questions you had, it was a movie – relevant to the times and it was right on time. All movies have unrealistic instances and flaws…

  7. That’s the beauty of poetry. It doesn’t have to mean anything to anyone. Or it can mean everything to nothing at all. You read it and take from it what you like. And yes I am a black woman who grew up around evergreen trees that we cut every year out of the forest for Christmas! =)

  8. I don’t care whether you like the movie or not, however, as a poet their two poems were great. Your gramatically challenged sentences inform me that you wouldn’t know what poetry was if a rhyme scheme kicked you in the face.

  9. Hilarious! still one of my fave movies though
    PS – Sheila (chick with the braids) wasn’t single. As she stated in the movie, she did have a man. For some reason, they never showed him. Go figure

  10. In my opion Love Jones was a wonderful movie, and NO it wasn”t supposed to teach you about love and how to love. That is something you should have learned from your lessons in life. Sorry you were disappointed by it but It gave a view of different African Americans than those that were being portrayed in the time that this movie came out…

  11. This was one of the best posts ever..I was dying on the inside from laughter and the sheer ballsy irreverence of the blog.

    My secret is that I didn’t get the damn movie either. I’m supposed to (according to FB friends) forgive it because there weren’t a lot of romantic comedies back in 1997. Ummm…OK, I was a couple years out of high school and I was a poet and I STILL didn’t get the movie!

    Now that I’m all super grown and such, and many of my friends are national level spoken word artists, I uber think the poems were whack. They need a workshop.

    I will watch the movie again at the ripe age that I am now to see if it makes any more sense.

  12. To attack Love Jones is to attack a cinematic sacred cow of ours, a community still hungering for realistic and positive portrayals of ourselves onscreen, and oftentimes forced to accept what we can get — thus, the unjustified exaltation of the film in question, and unfortunately, the popularity of Tyler Perry. You went there, boldly, bravely, and quite humorously. We could use more brave bloggers like yourself. Your spelling- and grammar-challenged critics be damned; you just found a faithful fan and new reader in me, Mz. Joy!

  13. This post cracked me up! Love Jones is one of my favorite movies, but you had me rolling, girl! Keep up the good work 🙂

  14. Uhhh, she didn’t even duck the other guy. She just went on a date with him. And she said that her poems weren’t good to Darius when tiger were on a date. And you acting like 10 minutes is gonna make or break your like. Now you know who all those godesses are, do you have something against learning new things? And he didn’t stalk her. He went after her twice. Twice. -_- And the friend wasn’t even a big girl. So what are you talking about. Smh. I’m done. *drops mic, walks off stage*

  15. No I’m sorry…. You didn’t like this movie because YOU DIDN’T GET IT! Not a compelling argument! At all!
    Reason Five: He stalked her??…. look up the definition of stalking. Yes he may have crossed a boundary but no he was not stalking.
    Reason Four: She smashed the homies??… Did you see her have sex with Wood?? She even tried to make him finally ask her so she could say no but he never asked. So that isn’t a valid point.
    Reason Three: Nina’s poem was wack??… Its called A METAPHOR!!! You’re angry because you didn’t understand the poetry but its meant to try to expand your mind and you aren’t on that level yet.
    Reason Two: Why couldn’t the big girl get some attention?? THE MOVIE WASNT ABOUT HER!! You just sound bitter.
    Reason One: Darius Poem was wack??? Again Just because YOU didn’t get it doesn’t make it wack! OK..so you spent 15 minutes learning about the figures he referred to in his poem and you’re angry? Why because the poem forced you to learn something??… Invalid point!

    All of your arguments just show you are at the right maturity level to understand a movie like Love Jones. Broaden your horizons!

      • Since you did not enjoy this film let me ask you this please. How would you have written it? How would your Love Jones movie been played out? What would you change or include to make you understand love? One more thing to add you can’t learn what love is from a movie. That is one of those life lessons you will have to experience for yourself. Looking forward to your answers. Thank you

  16. You have to understand poetry and the culture behind it to understand it I’m not sure if you’re black or white but poetry is bigger than the words.! And the movie doesn’t teach you how to find love it portrays a deeper connection in love through poetry and the lengths people will go to for love.! It’s a love story not a manual

  17. I loved your post. I also loved the movie. Actually just saw it. I was busy well uh….living the movie. I can see why it is an epic because it depicts the hopes and desires we have to be a whole people. These concerns are so importat that we are still talking about this movie today. But the flaws you mentioned are on the money.

  18. …watched from beginning to end for the 1st time, a lot of contrivances, I waited patiently for whatever was going to make it profound and a bench mark for black love movies, that award waits safely on the mantle of Guess who’s coming to dinner the Poitier film…heck that reps for all love movies in general. I applaude love Jones’ sound tract as well, I also enjoy the intelligence of the African American characters, they showed a side of us that’s not well represented (talk about the contrivance to end all contrivances). I saw this on BET today 7/16/2014, won’t see it again, and for some reason I don’t like that many of them smoked, seemed out of place for who the were trying be. The arcs of these characters were unremarkable. And the heavier friend was contrived as well. We knew nothing of her a convience like the black woman Jimminy Cricket nah mean, where’d she work why was she single how’d she get Tates characters number blah blah blah…holla back…

  19. I stumbled among this blog the only comment I have althought I didn’t read all thee other comments is this; the point 4 that you have listed was a scene related to Darius and not the character played by bill Bellamy. In the movie Nina goes to vehement lengths to explains to Darius that she never had sex with his friend… Just a point. Movies aren’t guides for love but they can sometimes play out real life and situations in that movie minus the stalking (maybe) could actually happen

  20. Buggs Jr… If you saw it on BET then you haven’t seen it at all. They edit movies like this so much for regular cable programming that in the end you’re watching an entirely different movie. Give it another try.

    In addition, it does seem as though the author of this blog was writing for shock value. It’s funny how she passed her opinion off as fact basically and then when challenged in the comments section she’s like “It’s just an opinion.” Even more comical how aggressive her blog post is then when someone refutes some of the things she mentioned she responds with a “You mad?” I’m with most of the other commenters… I just think you felt the movie was hyped up and it didn’t meet your expectations. It happens, but to assume this was going to be the blueprint for love would conclude that you had no choice but to hate it. It was never created for that. 16 years later I still think the movie is dope and relevant…it’s in my collection and I watch it often. Sorry you didn’t get it.

  21. Fucking hilarious!! It’s your opinion and I respect that. I was JUST listening to Nina’s poem and was thinking “Did I always NOT like this piece?” Lol. I’ll admit, I njoyed the movie. I’ll also admit I’ve never thought about it like you’ve just so eloquently described it. Lol. Oh and yes, Sentimental Mood is top 3 all songs for me. Thanks for being you. Screw the fucktards. I love that word. Lol

  22. Maybe it was just too deep for you. It is a beautiful movie, that uses poetry and our original (African) culture to connect two lovers. Yes, I agree that many things are not congruent with “traditional” black people, but that’s the point! Use the things you researched (Yemaya, etc) to expand your horizon. Look at the bigger picture, you learned something. I just feel like instead of bashing, you should do more research and not be upset that poetry and Afrikan spirituality doesn’t appeal to you. Love Jones is a classic. And until you can produce better art, you should appreciate this movie and pay homage to your ancestors.

    Ashe

  23. Just a correction, she didn’t “smash” the homie. And, that conversation she had with Lisa was actually about Darius (if you was really paying attention to the movie instead of looking for its flaws). And, yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion but some of your reasoning as to why love jones is a “stupid” movie just doesn’t make sense. if you want to be a amateur movie critic at least do it right

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