So, my life is super busy. I rarely have time to sit down and write an in-depth blog anymore. Because writing a blog for me, takes about 2 – 3 hours, depending on the topic. And If I have to search for images, or song lyrics, or some clip or point of reference . . . That’s gonna take even longer. The problem is, I only sit down at a keyboard 3-4 times a week, and I’m actually working then. So I think for a while, I’m going to just do some writing challenges, with the occasional deep ass blog thrown in when I have time.
To my new readers, thank you so much for following my blog! I never expected anyone to follow this thing, and I’ve been for 9+ years. I hope you find things that amuse, help, make you laugh, etc. You might also find some things you don’t agree with (Probably everything written from 2007-2009. That was my anything goes/Sarcastic Asshole phase.)
And now, for today’s topic: 5 Ways to Win My Heart
1) You Need to Be Dominant
I’ve wholeheartedly accepted that I’m submissive when it comes to relationships. Seriously, I wrote two blogs about it. So I’m not here for you if you want me to take care of you. I can be supportive, and affectionate, but I refuse to be in charge in our relationship. I won’t respect you, and the relationship will end VERY quickly. This doesn’t mean you should beat the crap outta me, this means I should be able to trust you enough to let you be in charge.
2) You have to have AT LEAST what I Have.
I’m not a parent, I shouldn’t be taking care of you. If you don’t have at least what I have, we aren’t going to work. If I’m working two jobs, you have to AT LEAST be working one full time job. You don’t have to own a Tesla, cuz me and my Buick Century are just fine. You don’t even have to OWN your house, but you need to have one. What do i look like introducing you to my friends and family, and I have to explain what you bring to the relationship? I’ve done that, it makes me feel stupid. I don’t care how great the sex is, if you embarrass me, I shouldn’t be dealing with you.
3) Don’t Woo me, if you can’t keep it up
If i meet you, and every night is eating at fancy restaurants, and movies, and Dave and Busters, Keep That Shit Up. You set the expectations, if you stop living up to them one of two things is going to happen. A) I’m going to take it personal, and assume you have started to think less of me or b) I’m gonna get pissed off and break up with you. If your circumstances change, it’s understandable if some things have to be put on the back burner for a while. But you have to put in the work consistently. Consistency is Key to keep me focused on you and/or our relationship.
4) Introduce me to something new
Is it bad I need to be Wowed? I’ve seen some pretty amazing things, not gonna lie. So you are going to have to step my game up. Cuz I like new stuff. I have new interest ADD. I like to explore all the things.
5) Be Woke
I can’t be with you if you aren’t knowledgable about societal issues. You can’t be a Republican. You can’t be watch Fox News. You have to know who Chris Hayes and Rachael Maddow are. You have to be able to tell the difference between an actual news story, and a hoax post. You need to know who Deray, Netta, and Luvvie are. You don’t have to be Black, honestly. But if you are White, you need to know what Privlege is, and acknowledge yours. You have to be able to deal with me being upset when a Black Child Dies. You need to be able to deal with my anger about another White Man killing innocent people and not being called a terrorist. You Have To Be Woke.
So that’s it. Not too bad right?