Tag Archive | BBW

2018: (A Series) Maybe Its Time…

If you’ve read a blog I’ve written this year, you know my life is crazy as all the hells. It’s become this thing I couldn’t have planned for if I tried. More frequently than I’d like to admit, I’ve had to stop myself and say, “This is Real!”

I had this conversation with my Blacko-Rican Best Friend, about us being ‘Late Bloomers.’ We seem to be living our lives about 10 years behind. Changing careers at 35, having major adult epiphanies right now. After we’ve watched almost everyone else we went to college with, seemingly prosper. They have great jobs, and happy families.

Yet we, just aren’t there yet. And we’ve finally accepted it. Without shame, or fear of judgement. We are becoming the Best Versions of ourselves, with the knowledge gained from 10+ years of ‘not living up to our potential.

That recognition, that we’ve paved our own path is so….freeing. It’s a weight lifted off our shoulders, that we were so used to carrying, we forgot it was there.

I dance, all the time. In public, around people I don’t know. I Sing Again…I found my voice again.

Because, the weight has lifted.

I’m not trying to get my shit together anymore, I’ve actually done it. When my car broke down, I didn’t scramble and cry….I looked at my budget and figured that shit out.

Maybe Its Time, To Let The Old Ways Die…..

I’ve lost 82lbs this year, with minimal effort. In 12 months, I went to the gym 3 months out of the year. Now, those 3 months were INTENSE, but it was just 3 months. The rest of the time, I’ve just been moving.

Teaching 6th grade, having to work around that big ass classroom everyday, I was averaging between 13,000 to 17,000 steps a day. When I lived in AZ, I struggled to get 6,000 steps a day.

I should have done this 10 years ago!

I think if I had, I wouldn’t appreciate it as much.

The Best Benefit of being a Late Bloomer….you’ve actually made all the mistakes. You’ve learned from them. You’ve struggled, and worked those emotional muscles….you already know you can make it through anything…because you already have.

I had to make the decision, to stop doing things the way I always had. It wasn’t working for me. I was beating a dead ass horse (FUCK YOU PETA). My arms got tired.

The minute I did something different, every single thing in my life changed.

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30 Day Writing Challange: My Tattoos and What They Mean

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I have 4 tattoos. 

Those are my first two.  The first one is No More Drama in Arabic. In my defense, I got it before 9/11, in Feb 2000 to be exact.  I was clearly inspired by the Mary J Blige song that came out the year before.  I was going to have a whole story down my back.  The second part of said story was the Drama mask (Comedy + Tragedy).  Following that should have been be a peace sign, then finally a ying/yang when I felt balanced in my life.  But the mask hurt WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much, so the story ended there. (For Know)

My 3rd Tattoo is a Butterfly on my foot.  That hurt like a Son of a Bitch! Evidently, even if your feet are swollen, it’s still the part of your body with the least amount of fat, thus you are basically tattooing muscle.  I cried so hard y’all. My friends made fun of me. I blogged about it too.

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This is my foot. The Left Foot. Sooooooooooo, there is a weird story about this one.  So I was reading 50 Shades of Grey, and going through a massive break-up.  John Mayer’s Born and Raised had just come out, and I heard the song “Love is a Verb.” I MIGHT have called my ex and sang this on his voicemail.  MIGHT is the keyword.  I had been awake for about 48 hours, and getting this tattoo’ed on my body for the rest of my life, was like the greatest Idea I’d ever had.  Sleep deprivation will make you do some CRAZY things. The songstill means a lot to me.  It’s a reminder to Walk theTalk as it were.

My next Tattoo will be the words, “Adulting is Hard;” as inspired by the SemiColon Project, followed by my nephew’s date of death. Hopefully I will be getting this one before the end of the year.