Tag Archive | Education

Confessions of a Single Black Female Vol. 11: Just My Imagination?

In the previous installment of  CSBF – Vol 10: What These Bitches Want from a N*gga, I talked about what SOME women want a man to be.  Most of my female friends said it was a great read, but I don’t know of very many men who read it, which is fine.  It’s my hope that one day, a man will stumble across my Joyful Words of Wisdom, and realize how stupid he has been all his life towards women.  It could all be a pipe dream, but it’s MY dream, so I will stick to it.

Speaking of Dreams, lets talk about having expectations.  Those things that you want for yourself, and believe that you deserve just because you are you.  Most women say, “I just want the man who is perfect for me,” and that is a noble statement.  But I call Bullshit.  You want the Perfect Man.  You want women to want to be you because of the man you have.  You want to be able to feel the regret of all your ex’s when you and your new man walk into the room.

Is there a difference between having Standards and Unrealistic Expectations?

My Classified ad for my future husband would look like this:

Wanted:

  • 35 years or older Black Man. College educated (BA/BS preferred).
  • Member of BGLO preferred, but not required (D9 affiliation is a must)
  • No Children, or STD’s.
  • Must have credit score of 600+ (exceptions will be made if student loans are involved)
  • Must have CAREER not a job.
  • Fidelity is a must, please have sown all your wild oats.
  • Must have a relationship with your family (either the one God gave you, or the one you have created for yourself)
  • Must have a strong relationship with God (Jesus Freaks need not apply)
  • Must be taller than 5’8″ and in decent health.
  • Must be attractive to me, and must be ATTRACTED to me.
  • Should be able to hold conversations with groups of various ethnic/religious/social backgrounds.
  • Must have clean criminal record. No felonies or misdemeanors. (Speeding tickets accepted.)
  • Must live alone. No roommates, family members, ex-girlfriend/best friend/occasional love interest allowed.
  • Must be ready to commit to a stable loving and committed relationship within the next year.

Finding this man in today’s world is like – Finding a Leopard Print, Purple Unicorn on the Isle of Altantis.  In the middle of a Catergory 7 Hurricane on February 31th.

Yes, this is what I want.  He may actually exist, somewhere in this world.  What is the probability of me finding him? Unless Oprah or Ellen finds my blog, and posts it on their websites, Slim to NONE.  We all have that picture in our head of who and what we want in life.  It’s okay to have hopes and dreams and thoughts about what would make you happy. But are they really just delusions of grandeur?

Cleaning out my DVR today, I actually watched “What Chili Wants,” and part of me wanted to just send her and email and say,” Bish Please!”  The other part of me wanted to say, “Why is it so bad to know what you want?” In the fight to find your mate, you have to know what you WON’T accept.  Somethings will be a deal breaker, and that is okay.  But, are you sticking to your guns because you want to control every aspect of your man/relationship, or because there is some logical explanation as to why you can’t have A, B, or C in your life?

Even after you have established your rules/guidelines, God has a way of laughing at you.  He might send you the exact opposite of everything you ever thought you wanted, and it might end up perfect for you.  Set your rules ladies, have them in the forefront of your mind.  Just don’t let them stop you from finding happiness.

  1. Finding a man who meets every requirement on your list, but he eats pork, doesn’t mean you ditch him.  You just introduce the man to Turkey Bacon and go on about your day.
  2. Finding a man who isn’t college educated, but can hold a conversation and reads more books than you, doesn’t mean you get rid of him.  It means you try to motivate him to take some online classes and maybe he can introduce you to some authors other than Omar Tyree and Eric Jerome Dickey.
  3. Finding a man who makes you laugh, smile, and generally enjoy life, but he’s not Black, doesn’t mean you should let that go.  It means that maybe you need to open your mind and see where that path will take you.

There is a difference between CHANGING your expectations,

and LOWERING them.

Is This You?

2010 seems to be the “Year of Settling for What the Hell I Can Get.”  Every time I see someone who settled, it just grates my nerves.  WOMEN!!!!!! Stop taking what you can get, start demanding that these men step up and be MEN.  loneliness is a Bitch, but so is Self-Loathing.  If you choose a man because he took up space, that is all he will ever do.  Take up space.

Everybody needs love, but maybe they don’t need love from YOU.  Yes, he may be fine, but can he hold a job? Did he move in with you because he got evicted from his studio apartment? Does he have 5 kids, but doesn’t see any of them.  What is he bringing into the relationship? In the biblical sense, he is supposed to be the head of your household. Can he do that? Does he have the potential to do that? Is he motivated enough to do it?

As long as we put up with, Whatever We Can Get, we will continue to deal with, Ain’t Shit Dudes.  Because you put up with his bullshit, he makes the assumption that anyone will.  As previously stated, I am NOT that one.  I refuse to let you get away with anything, if I can’t do the same.  The relationship rules must apply on both sides.  Ladies, if we don’t start making men live up to the most #Basic of standards, there will be all types of shenanigans happening as we look the other way.

So yes, I have standards and goals and guidelines and deal breakers, but I also know . . .

What you want might make you cry
What you need might pass you by
If you don’t catch it, (If you don’t catch it)
And what you need ironically
Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it,  (If you just let it)

As always, Questions/Comments/Concerns are welcome.  Thanks for reading Guys!

Late Night Ramblings of 2010 #6: I Just Wanna Be Successful

Today seems to be an important day in my life . . . It means something, even if I don’t know what yet.  But as I reflect on this date, I am thinking about the things I have done that have gotten me to the place I am right now.  Sitting in my apartment, in the State of Arizona, I can honestly say, 17-year-old me would NOT approve of my life choices.

17 year old me entered college with no set goals.  My Major was Computer Science, because I spent a lot of time on the PC.  I didn’t have a goal path, I just figured it would be pretty fun to play with computers all day.  17 year old me was looking to re-invent herself.  Find a boyfriend who liked to give her hugs, and eventually have 4 kids named Taylor, Kennedy, David and Xavier.  She was going to have a very rich husband, preferably Jewish, and have a butler named Phillips. {If his name wasn’t actually Phillips, we were going to call him that anyway.}

I used to look at the houses in my neighborhood, and think about where my garden would be, and where my children would play.  Everything was planned around the fact that I wouldn’t have to worry about money, or my health, or the economy, or anything that an Adult would worry about.  So yes, they were the thoughts of a child, but they were what I wanted for me.

If I had lived out my dreams at 17-year-old, I don’t think  I would have been proud of myself.  I want to be successful.  I want to have a business card, and a company car, and my name being nationally recognized.  But because of my drive to have that, I have given up a lot.  I have lost friendships, and relationships because they just couldn’t follow my path.

Seemingly, I am focused on some ultimate goal.  The question I am starting to ask myself is what exactly do I plan to do after I reach that goal.  After I no longer have to worry about money, and I can buy my mother the Ferrari I promised her at the age of six.  After the numerous appearances on Oprah, and the national book tours, what then?

The sacrifices that we make, on the road to that Ultimate Goal are many.  The casualties are great.  The wounds take a lot of time to heal.  Is the Fame/Success really all it’s cracked up to be?  Why do I want this success? What’s My Motivation?

I want people to envy me.  I want my family to look at me and say wow, she’s awesome.  I want strangers to want to be my best friend.  I want to impact the lives of millions.  These are all facts about my Motivation.  Is that my only Motivation, no.  Is that the base that my Drive was built on, yes.

I want to Change the World, One Child at a Time . . . then I want everyone to praise me for doing it. And at the end of the day,

I Just Wanna Be Successful . . . .

RNS (c) AK – Vol 15: I’m Not That One

Key Phrase: I’m Not The One

Meaning: I am Not the One to put up with Your Shullbit

This isn’t going to be a nice blog.  You should know that now.  So when you are surprised at my wording, and the way I express myself in this blog vs. everything else I have written this year, let that isht go.  Because Today, I’m not trying to subtly motivate you.  I am trying to beat you over the head with COMMON DAMN SENSE.

Fact: I am a College Graduate

You Should Be Too.  But it’s okay if you aren’t.  Everyone’s situation is different.  Sometimes, you can’t control how the cards fall financially, or based on your family.  But have you made any kind of effort to further your education? Have you taken a Community College course, hit up University of Phoenix Online, taken a cooking class? READ A BOOK?  Read a Pamphlet? Have you done anything to educate yourself after high school? Better yet, do you want to?  If we can’t hold a conversation without me having to explain every other word I type/say/text, we can’t be together.

I’m not judging you, I’m Just Not That One.

I can’t dumb myself down for you.  I enjoy conversation about current events.  This doesn’t require you to read the Wall Street Journal (hell I don’t even read that) but can you watch The Daily Show? The Colbert Report? CNN.com? Twitter? TMZ? I can’t try to make you understand simple concepts while we talk, I do that with the 4 year olds I teach everyday. #dobetter

Fact: Birds of a Feather Flock Together

What are the life goals of the people around you? What do they want to be when they grow up? Where do they see themselves in 3 years? In the same apartment, with the same female he won’t call wife/wifey? At the same job? Doing the same illegal activities? Is that okay with you? You are the dumbest smart person I have ever met.  It’s not that hard to just move the ufck on! You consistenly complain about how ignorant the people are around you, and yet you STAY around them.  So what does that say about you?

I’m not Judging You, I’m Just Not That One.

Never be complacent in a situation.  I’m not sure if it’s fear of success or fear of failure -but at 25+ you HAVE to be afraid of something to not have moved on.  If the people around don’t have the same mindset you have, they will start to rub off on you.  You used to want to get out the hood, now you like the hood mentality.  Why? Is it because it allows you to be the Big Fish in the Minuscule Pond.  Eventually, those little fish are going to attack you, and eat you, then where will you be? Dead.

Fact: You Don’t Love Him Anymore

You met the love of your live (or so you thought) at 18.  You did everything you could to be with him, and you got him.  Then you found out he wasn’t everything you wanted him to be. He didn’t love you like he said, he wasn’t who he presented himself to be, he’s a liar.  But you’re still with him? Why? You Don’t Love Him Anymore. You know he doesn’t love you. But you continue to let him back into your life.  Maybe you love the image you had in your head, not him.

I’m Not Judging You, I’m Just Not That One

If he don’t want you, he doesn’t.  The pain of rejection is so much less than the day to day pain of being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love you.  It will take you so much less time to get over him if YOU DO IT. Because him breaking up with you is going to hurt you more.  Rip off the Bandaid, Let That NWord GO!

Fact: I’m Fat

I know it.  You know it when you see me.  But that doesn’t mean that I think less of myself for being fat.  It doesn’t mean that I have to accept less than what I deserve.  It doesn’t mean I don’t  deserve someone of a Quality Caliber in my life.  Fat does not equal sub-human or less than.  I am SO tired of women who SETTLE FOR SOMETHING, because they think it’s the best they can do.

I’m Not Judging You, I’m Just Not That One.

I Like Me.  I know what I am worth.  Call it arrogance, call it whatever you want to, but I Deserve the Best.  If you aren’t the best, then I don’t want you.  I know what I can bring to the table, if we aren’t even close to being on the same level, WHY WHY WHY WHY would I pretend that I am happy with you.  Especially if the fundamental thing that makes me ME, is being stifled.  I want to look up to whoever I am with.  I want him to inspire me to be even better than I already am. If you can’t do that, You Aren’t For Me.  & That’s Okay.

Fact: It’s Okay to be Selfish

When did it become a crime to like yourself? To just want to spend time with yourself, until you figure out exactly what you want in your life? I have a 2 bedroom apartment for a reason, because I have A Lot of Stuff.  Not because I want you to guilt me into letting you move in  – “Because you have all that room.” NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. If you live with me, I won’t have room.  You’ll eat my food out the refrigerator, make comments about me walking around topless, and get mad when I ask you to move out.

I Know You Judge Me, But I’m Not That One

I don’t want a man who wants to spend every waking moment with me.  Honestly, a long distance relationship (where both parties are emotionally invested) is exactly what I need right now.  I love you, but I don’t have to see you all the damn time. I’m socially retarded. I am using the word retarded in it’s literal sense, meaning delayed in development.  Everything I have done in life is on a 4 year Delay.  Things I should have done in Middle School = High School for Me.  What I should have found out about the world at large in College = After College Graduation.

So no, I’m not trying to marry you, or get wifed up, or be your babies mom.  I Like Myself, and if you like me too that’s great.  But I’m not ready for all that commitment because I’m not where I want to be for myself.  I can’t love you, if I don’t love myself.  I Like Me, but I haven’t fallen in love with myself  yet.  So until then, either you wait or you move on.

So In Conclusion, to use these new concepts in everyday life:

Ex 1: I’m Not the One to call when you get in a fight with your ex-wife.  I told you that ibtch was crazy, YOU told me that ibtch was crazy.  So why are you surprised that she emailed you on some Simple Isht.

Ex 2: I’m Not the One to force you to better yourself.  I shouldn’t have to tell a grown man that he needs to do better.  If you don’t have any goals and aspirations, me telling you would they should be isn’t going to make you suddently have then.

Ex 3: I’m Not the One to complain to when your boyfriend continues to show his natural azz in public.  He does what you allow him to do.  If you told him to stop doing it, and he didn’t, and you still stayed with him, that’s on you.

RNS (c) AK Vol. 14: Social Networking – Good Idea or Clusterf*ck of Epic Proportions? You Decide . . .

Hello Friends. How is life going for you? Really . . . . that’s awesome! Well, if you don’t know what is going on with me, feel free to read the 9, count them 9, blogs that I have written in January. I recently had a mini-emotional breakdown, and it lead to 72 of no sleep, lots of crying, and finally me turning off my BlackBerry for 24 hours.Yes, you heard right. I, M. J. W., went 24 HOURS without my BlackBerry.

So you know something was really bothering me right? I kept trying to figure out why, every time I turned my back, there was some other kind of drama that I was being bombarded with. It was like Drama (Lonely’s Best Friend) was following me EVERYWHERE!! I couldn’t shake that Heaux loose!

Shutting off my phone helped me to realized something very important: Too many people had access to me. Between FaceBook, Twitter, Skype, BlackBerry Messenger, Yahoo Messenger, Text Messaging, Email, and actual phone conversations, my life was being taken over by, for all intents and purposes, by Fictional Characters in the Story of my life.

Those Three Weeks lead me to these new RNS Facts . . .

RNS #61: FaceBook = Stalker’s Paradise.I joined FaceBook for one reason only. I wanted to see what my friends from Middle School, High School and College were up to. I joined FB at the end of 2006, and it’s been a roller coaster ride ever since. People have found me that I HATED in Middle School. I have been able to keep tabs on people I had loved from afar in High School. I could track that moments of a backstabbing whore when I have to go and wreck shop. I know people are pregnant before THEY do. FB gives me SO much power.

But at what cost? Friendships/relationships have been destroyed via FB as well. Lies told, lies covered up, whole faux relationships begun, all under the guise of Social Networking. THEY STARTED A DAMN e-Sorority and e-Fraternity. REALLY!! I’m not even going to talk about the ramifications Social Networking has had on the Greek World.

{Side Note: Remember back in the day when you could feel hella elitist because you had a FB account and your friends who dropped out of school couldn’t.}

RNS #62: Skype = 3 Way CallingRemember back in high school, when you liked a boy. And you didn’t want to tell him you liked him, but you wanted to find out if he liked you. So you told your girl to call him on 3-Way, so she could ask him what he thought about you. That is Skype. 7 people talking about whatever via their computers. Any Skype Conversation with more than 4 people = ClusterF*ck.

It gives you easy access to people, often during times when you don’t want it. If you didn’t set up the call, you can’t control who is in the room. This is a problem for the control freak in me, that likes to have a say in EVERYTHING. However, it does let you hear someones vocal intonation when they say certain things, and it’s all in the tone of voice.

Skype should only used for watching Football and Award Shows. Anything other than that is just TROUBLE waiting to happen. I swear, all this internet stuff is making me forget I Don’t Like People!

RNS #63: BBM = Text Messaging for the Young ProfessionalI have 63 BBM contacts. I talk to 10 of them on a fairly frequent basis. Some are family, some are friends, some are Blue People, but most are Twitter/Skype/FB contacts that I added to feel important. Do you really HAVE to be friends with me on every Social Network available? I will say, BBM does allow you to know if/when people actually received your message, thus allowing you to hold them accountable for answering your message.

BlackBerries were originally made for Business Men and Women, who needed a way to take their office with them everywhere. This is why, when I woke up at 4:00am to get my BlackBerry Storm on November 16th, 2008, the only people out there with me were 40+ business men. I do know people who use their BlackBerries for work, but how many people have them just because? Must everything be a popularity contest?

Why did BBM have to come up with Groups? It’s just another way that people can communicate when they are supposed to be working. I am so much more productive when I don’t have access to the InterWeb and/or My Phone is dying.

RNS #64: The Tweets is Watching = Private ain’t Really PrivateI LOVE TWITTER. I have been cheating on FB w/ Twitter for sometime now. Twitter is like FB on Speed. You have 140 characters or less to say what you need to say. Get in, get out, or STFU. But, just like FB/Skype/BBM people are watching you. Even if you have a private profile, once someone RT’s a comment you made and they DON’T have a private profile, your information is still out there. #Follow Friday’s alone almost got me fired a FEW times.

I have a Twitter Persona. Hell, everyone has a Twitter Persona or a FB Persona or an Internet Persona (Atom Kane & Lauren George anyone) Having to remember who I am, where, is stressful as hell. Then the Twitter Friends start talking to the Skype Friends, who all have BBM so they join the BBM Skype Group, and they all have Facebook.

RNS #65: I Like My Friends Where They Are, Stop Trying to Bring Them Together.

I don’t like my friends to mesh. It’s a fact, everyone who has known me for a while knows this. The reason I don’t like friends to mesh is simple: Everyone doesn’t have to part of my life, in every way shape or form. I have a very diverse group of friends, and I am quite sure they could probably all get along quite well.

Example  A) I have a large population of Pale Friends, and my pale friends LOVE me. But they love the me that has adapted herself to making them comfortable. My vocal range changes, I am a tad bit less hood, and they are comfortable. This is not to say I’m a poser, or they are actually racist, but they have a vision of me that makes them comfortable, and I like to keep it that way

Example  B) I’m a Black Greek. When I hang with Black Greeks, we all have a certain mindset. If/When my other friends are around us, and we are discussing Black Greek things, they have told me it makes them feel left out. So I don’t publicize my Zeta-Ness.

Example  C) MY FAMILY IS ON FACEBOOK! Thus, I can’t act a complete and utter ass. I have a very ethnically diverse family, me using the NWord might offend them. I can’t just curse all willy nilly, because my Big Sister LaRita will yell at me (Deference FTMFW).

TOO MUCH NETWORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, what have I learned so far in 2010 . . . Keep it to a minimum. I caused my problem, I accept that. I gave too many people access, when I should have made SURE that I didn’t let people cross my lines.

So, my new Rule:

If we are friends on more than 3 Social Networking Mediums . . . You better be my Best Friend, My Man, Family, VIP or working your way to those Titles.

The Great UnFollow has already begun, with more to come in the very near future. Because I value my Sanity . . . and my Friends.

Thoughts/Comments/Concerns?

Confessions of a Single Black Female Vol 10: What These Bitches Want from a Nigga

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Arf Arf! Ayo B**ch! What’s the answer . .. the #4!

. . . DMX really wanted to know. I wonder if anyone ever told him.

Matter of Fact, I wonder if females are ever really honest with themselves about what they want. RNS, do men really want to know what we want? All the men I have ever been completely honest with, I have scared away. Men, don’t ask the question if you aren’t ready for the answer.

So as the unofficial spokesperson for Single Black Females everywhere, I am going to answer your question DMX, with as much honesty as I can, 10 years later . . .

1) A Father Figure

The difference between a Woman and a Lil’ Girl is where they call their man Daddy. The Bedroom or the Grocery Store. All these lil girls calling folks Daddy while he’s on his job and when they go out to eat, it’s a cry for help. I like being told what to do . . . IN THE BEDROOM. You telling me how to run my life isn’t going to go over well at all, unless I asked you what you thought about my choices. Can you take charge without walking all over me?

2) A Teacher

I want you to lead and guide me. I want you to introduce me to things I have never experienced before. What do I look like showing you the best restaurants, places to travel, whats going on in the town we both live in. I know what I Like. That’s Why I Like It! I want you to show me something new, make me step outside my box, and explore the world around me. Can you guide me to new things, without forcing me to do things that make me uncomfortable. Do you know the difference between Teacher and Student? Would you be willing to switch roles from time to time?

3) A Soldier

I want you to protect me. I want to feel safe whenever I am with you. Be it in the club, at the grocery store, during a thunderstorm – I want to feel like My Man Has My Back. The Physicality of that statement notwithstanding, can you protect me from the outside world? Can you be my Superman? Or when the worries of the world – my emotional Kryptonite – comes crashing down to Earth, will you falter in the face of adversity. Can you be strong enough to hold me up, when I am ready to fall? Will you help me fight all my battles: Emotional and Spiritual. Or does that Scare You?

4) A Best Friend/Counselor

We don’t have to trade hair secrets. But will you be there for me when I need a friend? Can I come to you before I go to anyone else to discuss my fears? Can we laugh and joke at anything? Can we stand in the mall and laugh at the weird couples? Do you look forward to the time we spend together? Can I cry on your shoulder, even when you are the person that made me cry? Is the best part of your day, just sitting on the couch with me watching 24 or Grey’s or the OSU Football Game? I don’t want to be your only friend, but I should be your Best Friend.

5) A Spiritual Adviser

If you don’t know A God , let alone My God, how am I going to be able to grow spiritually? Can we talk about our opinions on religion without judging each other? You don’t have to declare a religion, but you do have to believe there is a higher power that has control of our lives. Can you come to church with me, and not be ashamed of what we do at home? Can you defend your faith among those that don’t believe? Are you kind of person who judges those who don’t believe in a higher power? Do you censor your emotions based on what you have been told to believe? How firm are your religious convictions? Does my father having Rev. in front of his name make you nervous?

6) An Orator

Conversation is the world’s greatest aphrodisiac. Can you express yourself without using profanity all the time? Can we talk on the phone for hours, without running out of things to say? Can you convey your level of intelligence without making other people, including me, feel stupid? Can you hold a conversation with the Benetton Ad that is my family without being nervous? Can you turn me on Linguistically? Can you use words to convey exactly how you feel about me? (The words Wanna and F*ck not included)

7) A Musician

You don’t have to be able to sing. You don’t have to be able to play a instrument. You don’t even have to have an extensive music collection. But do you know something about music? Do you understand my love of Motown? Do you know the difference between Hip-Hop and Rap? Do you know who Sam Cooke is? Do you know any song by Donny Hathaway other than A Song For You? Will it piss you off if I play Limp Bizkit at 8 in the morning? Have you ever owned a Hootie and the Blowfish LP? Do you judge me because I have?

8) A Provider

Not to be confused with a Sugar Daddy. I don’t want you to pay my bills, I don’t want you to pay for me to get my hair and nails done. I’m not looking for a Pimp, I’m looking for a Provider. Do you have a Career? Any man can have a job, but do you have a business card? One that your company ordered for you? Do you have health benefits? Because Mine are Sho’ Nuff the Bomb! If you have children, do you provide for them, or do you only do what Friend of the Court says you must? Are you a dependable person? Can I depend on you in a time of crisis, not for financial support, but as a support system. But if I need financial support, will you offer it before I have to ask? Will you make me sign a promissory note about when I will be returning it to you?

9) A Diary

Can I tell you my fears? Can I tell you my shameful secrets, and not be afraid that you will walk away? Do you understand what I mean when I say, “For your Ears Only?” Will your friends know my business? Will you keep our relationship sacred, not to be violated by those who might be jealous? Or, will you give them ammunition they need to destroy us by telling them all the little things I do that bother you? Will you let me be your diary? Will you trust me enough, to show me your weaknesses? Do you have enough respect for me to abide by the, “What Happens in the Bedroom Stays in the Bedroom” Mantra?

10) Mr. Sandman

Can you put me to sleep? Can you take your time with me, spend hours trying to figure out the best way to bring me pleasure? Can you be my teacher, help me in those areas that I might be lacking? Can you tell me what you like, without fear of being called a Freak? Can I tell you what I Like, without fear of the same? Can we experiment, testing our boundaries slowly and thoroughly? But can you tell when the time for sensitivity is over? Can you provide the Good Dick Down, and make me wanna clean the house and make tacos?

Did I answer your question DMX? Do you now know, What Women Want? Hope This Helped . . .

*The Title had you thinking this was about something TOTALLY different, didn’t it? . . . Never Judge a Book by It’s Cover . . .*

Comments/Questions/Concerns are always welcomed.

Real Nigga Shit (c) AK: Volume 13 – Have You No Couth?!? Things that Pissed me the F*ck Off in 2009

Yes, this is going to be an angry blog. I don’t have any sage advice, or things to think about for you this time. This is all about ME, and why I am always so damn angry. Yes, I have high standards. But in 2009, people went far beyond what I could excuse, and went right into just doing Dumb Shit. These are in no particular order, one is not more important than the other. Enjoy.

Similarities?

1) Nikki Minaj

Her name alone pisses me off. But it’s more what she seems to represent. Sub-par rap lyrics + Half Nekkid Whore Look = Success!

HAVE YOU NO COUTH?!?

I don’t wanna see you squatting spread eagle licking a lollipop. WTF, put that inside your album cover as a poster like Lil’ Kim did. You are trying to be like her right? Take a lesson from your mentor, she did it better. You can’t rap. At least Lil’ Kim has a sick ass flow.

You rap about dumb shit, and you empower dumb hood broads to say they are a Barbie Doll. WTF Dude! Not only did she sample, “I don’t wanna go to Mexico No More More More” {a childhood favorite of mine} in a gotdamn rap, but she she actually rhymed Bestest with the word asbestos. Really Heaux, Fucking Really?????

I hate you. I hope you read this and understand that I hate you. I might email it to you, but that would mean that you actually knew how to use a computer for more than cybersex and googling pics of Lil’ Kim. Sorry, I’ll put it in the mail for you.

Not the Business!

2) Public Displays of Affection

I don’t diss your love. I congratulate you for your relationship. I do not, however, want to pull up into my parking spot and see you and your man dry humping in the building. This is your job heaux!

HAVE YOU NOT COUTH?!?!?

When was it EVER ok to be in front of the counter making out with your man? When!!!! And not only were you sucking his face, but you had the nerve to – on more than one occasion – move into the corner of the store, like I still couldn’t see you. BITCH THE WALLS ARE MADE OF GLASS!!! I F*cking See You! So does everyone else in the complex.

No matter how much you love your man, he should respect you enough to not have you looking like a dime store trick AT YOUR GOTDAMN JOB!!!!! I really had a mind to call corporate, because that shit was just inappropriate. Then he walked out the door when I walked up. Like I didn’t know all about his stroke game after watching him give his girl the dry-hump dick down for 20 minutes. Just dammit man.  Speaking of asshole Boyfriends . . .

HINT HINT HINT!

3) Asshole Boyfriends/Fiance’s/Husbands

The litany, All Men are Dogs, has been run into the ground. Most men aren’t dogs. There are those who have happy relationships without drama. They exist, someone just found them first. But the men/boys/assholes I’m seeing lately are like a whole new breed of man. This is the man that does his dirt, in the open, and doesn’t care who he hurts in the process.

HAVE YOU NO COUTH?!?!

2,457 strangers know all your business and the only girl who doesn’t accept your status as a douchebag is your girlfriend/fiance/wife. These men must have the Dick Game of the New Millennium, because I am truly baffled. Tiger Woods, you fucking IDIOT. The reason your dad got away with it was because your mother was Thai, and it wasn’t in her nature to cause a ruckus {No Relation}. But you go and marry a Swedish girl, and hump every waitress you could on the PGA Circuit, and you thought that was okay?

I blame Kobe’s Wife for starting this shit. Your husband was on trial for RAPE and you stayed. Now you got men humping anything with fake boobs and white teeth, and thinking that offering their wife some form of monetary reward to Stand By Her Man will suffice. I hate you Kobe’s Wife. This is All your Fault.

No Words are really needed . . .

4) Stupid B*tch Girlfriends/Fiance’s/Wives

Let that Nigga GO! I don’t care how much he tells you he will never do it again, he’s going to. Unless he was raped, there was a point when he said to himself, Imma F*ck this girl, and I’m okay with it. She didn’t seduce him, she didn’t trap him, she got the dick down cuz he wanted to give it to her. Stop bitching to your girls about how you just don’t know how to keep your man, and let that nigga go! He don’t wanna be with you. And stop placing all the blame on the half nekkid heauxs at the club.

Have You No Self-Respect?!?! HAVE YOU NOT COUTH?!?!?

Why weren’t you there with him? Why would you let him go out to a club without taking care of him real quick? Why would you NOT question him the first time he lied? Why would you NOT kick his ass out the first time he came in at 4 in the morning, drunk and half dressed. Men do what we allow them to do. Stop blaming the other woman, and think about what you did/didn’t do to make him think you wouldn’t care what he did.

Love your self enough to know that someone else should love you. “Well, you know it’s hard for a big girl…” “Well you know it’s hard for us Dark Skinned Girls….” “Well you know it’s hard for men to date women who make more money than they do….” It’s not hard. Ya’ll don’t expect them to, so they don’t. If you have to change yourself to get him to pay attention to you, HE DIDN’T WANT YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

I bet you think this part is about you . . .

5) Internet Whores

In the era of FaceBook, MySpace, Twitter, Linked In, etc. The Rise of the Internet Whore can almost be scientifically charted. I miss the days of BlackPlanet and College Club, when all your business wasn’t out there, and you could pretend that you had self-respect. Now a days, all you need is a Skype, an email account, and a webcam, and you can whore yourself to the next man you meet.

HAVE YOU NO COUTH?!?!?

Not only are you building a reputation, but the internet is NOT the best way to prove your sexual prowess. You just think you sent that pic to @igottadick4u, you actually just got added to a file that he shares with all his friends, fraternity brothers, and twitter followers. I PERSONALLY have a file of FB Peen on my home computer, what makes me think dudes don’t have a file too?

You proving how slutty you can be doesn’t make him like you more. It won’t make him want to date you. All you get out of it is some Textual Seduction or some Fiber Optic Copulation. At the end of the day, you still look like a whore to those around you. Love yourself. Because he dont/won’t. He only talks to you on a regular because it costs $12.99 to get porn On Demand.

PLEASE!

6) Negro Youth & Twitter

I know I already blogged about it, but dammit they keep doing dumb shit. I’m not even going to try to explain half the songs I hear on the radio. I’m not even going to go into how the educational system sets them up to fail. Not even going to pontificate on how Racism has gone from Jim Crow to James Crowe, Esq. Nope, not even going to talk about that.

I can just discuss recent Twitter Trending Topics. Besides the fact that they are often spelled wrong {#younoyourfat}, could the mindset of the youth be more fucked up. Twitter was fun until the niggers discovered it. Now my timeline is flooded with shit like,{ @bowwow614 I wanna be a Kappa, imma pledge next week}. And 40000000000 stupid ignorant females ReTweeting his shit. Not to mention #twitterafterdark

HAVE YOU NO COUTH?!?!?

Did you know that when you apply for a job the FIRST thing they do, before they even check your references, is google your name? They find your MySpace, FB, Twitter pages. Google indexes them. So unless you are smart enough to make all your pages private, there goes that job opportunity. You were wondering why they didn’t call you back, even though you were highly qualified. Could have been that FB Status you had up last night: {Lac3y ISukkGudDick 4MyManzNEm is watching Ghetto Chicks who suck Monster Dick #45. I’m learning alot!}

Get You Mind Right . . . . Just Dammit F*ck!

7) Chris Brown and Rihanna

Yes, this WHOLE THING Pissed me off. I don’t care if you think I’m wrong, it’s my f*cking opinion! Yes, Chris Brown beat her down. He beat her like she stole something. He was wrong, it’s never right to hit a woman, blah blah blah . . . BUT

It’s also never right to hit a man in his face. Or hit a person period. My uncles and Big Brothers all told me, if you hit a man in his face, you lose the right to say, But I’m a Girl. When you hit a man in his face, you are basically saying you are his equal, and he will beat you as such. That is the mindset of most men I know, right or wrong. I don’t care how mad at you I am, I will never hit you in your face { or hit you in the balls}. But really Walmart, REALLY?!?!?

HAVE YOU NO COUTH?!?!?!

Ya’ll can sell R. Kelly’s Albums, but you can’t put Chris Brown on the shelf?!?! R. Kelly PISSED ON AN UNDERAGED GIRL. IN HER MOUTH, ALL OVER HER. But Chris Brown is a horrible person?!? The issue had nothing to do with his talent as a singer. Yeah, the endorsements had to go, but to deliberately sabotage this young mans career. He made a mistake, his temper got the best of him. He apologized, her wore that damn BowTie, what more must he do!!! He was 19 at the time . . . R. Kelly was like 40.

Please Note:If you didn’t have such good deals on the groceries I needed, I would never shop in your stores. And if I bought music, I would never buy it from you. Know that I give your greeters the evil eye every time I walk in your store. And I never put my cart in the little cart thingie when I’m done. So there *insert head/neck/eye roll here*

This was a long one, so thanks for reading! Comments/Questions/Concerns are welcomed

Ms. Risa Explains It All: You Forgot You Were a N*gger

This is the one blog I have been trying NOT to write. Because I am quite certain I am going to lose friends over this one. I might get called an Uncle Tom for this blog. I might get called all kinds of things that aren’t my name.

 

All I can do is add this disclaimer: I have quite a few Caucasian friends, and they aren’t evil in the least bit. I ❤ my Pale Friends.

 

Dear Rich & Famous Black People,

I know this might come as a shock to you. But You, are Still, a Nigger. Doesn’t matter how much money you have, or how many white friends you have in your perspective industries. You are still a Nigger. Oh No, they would never call you that to your face, ever. Because they are hip and understanding. They feel for you and you inner Nigger angst, and feel bad for their ancestors part in your Nigger Pain and Suffereing. Hell, they even voted for Obama! How’s that for being down for the cause?!?

And yes, the White Masses, they love you. As long as you are spending your money on frivolous shit. Keep buying cars, and gym shoes, and jewelry from Jacob the Jeweler. Keep spending $100,000 on a purse or a vacation. Keep mortgaging houses so you look good for the next season of Real Housewives of Some City where Black People Live. They will sign that pay check that keeps you on TV, because they laugh at the Step and Fetch It routine you have perfected.

But please remember Rich & Famous Black People, you are still a Nigger.

They aren’t hanging you from a tree, because they can just hang you on television. They don’t have to put Coloreds Only at the door of the Club, because you stay in your area anyway. They don’t have to limit your resources, because we all know the only thing you will ever be good at is Sports and Entertainment. They don’t have to have a telethon to help your community, because you are too busy Choking Internet SuperStars.

Rich Black People, I know this seems harsh. I know you feel as though I am attacking you out of no where, without any form of evidence or validation. And never would I want to persecute the Nigger Race without facts. So Allow me to show you, Point By Point, what has provoked me to remind you that You – Yes You, Rich & Famous Black Person that you are – are indeed still a Nigger.

Example #1: The Unfortunate Demise of Football Star Steve McNair

A Series of Unfortunate Events
Those of us who live in Detroit knew what the deal was before the “Official” Report came out that he was indeed murdered. Black Man + Arab Young Woman = Death. Point Black Period. The Arabs own half the stores and gas stations in The Detroit Metropolitan Area. They will take your money, but they aren’t your friend. This woman had veered off the path she was supposed to be on. She was rebelling against what she was told, and she ended up dead. Look at the coroners report, there is no way she killed herself. Here is how it really went down. Father/Brother/Family Friend came to the door, she let them in. They killed Steve McNair first, made her watch, then either killed her, or held her hand while she killed herself.

 

Just because you are famous, doesn’t mean you can just go around and mingle with everyone. Or at least if you mingle, know what you are getting yourself into. How many interracial couples have you seen that involve an Arab/Muslim Woman and a Black Man? Just Sayin’. It’s not done. Sure, Love can transcend all boundaries, but usually, it’s done in secret in other states so your family doesn’t see. Maybe If you aren’t from Tha D, you don’t understand. But Steve McNair forgot He Was a Nigger. That girl’s Family would rather see her DEAD, than see her with Steve McNair.

*Historical Reference: Emmet Till was Beaten and Murdered for “whistling” at a White Woman

 

 

 

 

Example #2: The Kanye West/Taylor Swift Incident

Dumb Ass
Kayne West is a douchebag. He’s a musical genius, but he’s an arrogant asshole. But if you consider the backlash from his Sunday Stage Rush, you will notice that he is being treated like a Disrespectful Nigger Child. When Kanye said that George Bush didn’t care about Black People during the Hurricane Katrina Telethon, did Bush go on Television to refute his statement? Did anyone from the Republican Party demand an apology? Other than Mike Myers seriously freaking out on Live TV, NOT A NOTHING.

 

But Jump on Stage and snatch the mic from the “White Virginal” Taylor Swift, all hell broke loose. He had to go on Leno. He had to blog an apology twice. He had to talk to her momma. He had to call her. The President called him a jackass. Rush Limbaugh got all in his ass for days on end. What is the difference between 2005 and Now? Kayne “attacked” a country Music Star. A WHITE Country Star. The Young, Virginal Embodiment of Country Music. And they will not stand for that! Kayne might have good music, but he is still just a Nigger with Swirly Shit in his head. Who showed up on the Red Carpet, with a half full Bottle of Hennesy. Because there is NOTHING more Niggerish than ‘Henny.

 

 

Example #3: Jimmy Carter vs. Barack Obama

This is what he looks like, in case you didn’t know . . .
Jimmy Carter, a former President of the United States, made a statement about the Republican Party’s treatment of President Obama thus far.

 

“I think people who are guilty of that kind of personal attack against Obama have been influenced to a major degree by a belief that he should not be president because he happens to be African American.

“It’s a racist attitude, and my hope is and my expectation is that in the future both Democratic leaders and Republican leaders will take the initiative in condemning that kind of unprecedented attack on the president of the United States,” Carter said.

President Obama immediately stepped up and said Carter was wrong, and it wasn’t racism. At first I was hella pissed to read that. Then I remembered, Obama is still a Nigger. What do you think would have happened if he had been like, “Yeah. All them Crackers is Racist!” We would all be in mourning. Call President Obama an Uncle Tom, a Weak Man if you want. But he is trying to keep his life.

Fred Hampton Sr.

Some will rebuke me for saying all this, for letting the truth be known. But it’s been weighing on my heart for a while. We are not very far removed from a time when the FBI was actually legally allowed to go into a Black Man’s Home and massacre him under the guise of protecting the American People from Radical Hate Groups (read: The Black Panther Movement). December 4, 1969 is NOT just Sean Carter’s Birthday. {You like how I found a way to bring this all back to Jigga, don’t you} Google FBI CounterIntel-Pro one day . . . Will blow your mind.

I’m not a radical, these aren’t off the wall thoughts. I’m just a person who knows my history, and got the rude awaking in 2006 that even I, the Greatest Token Negro of all Time, was still seen as JUST a Nigger. Please Refer to my Notes My Fight With the Man Parts 1 & II for more on that Rude Awakening.

In the eyes of the people who still run this country, YOU ARE STILL A NIGGER. It would serve you well, not to forget that.

Sincerely,

Radical Nigger who Knows her History

Real Nigga Shit (c) AK Volume 11: I’m So Ambitious . . .

Life’s a Game, but It’s not Fair,
I Break the Rules so I Don’t Care.
So I’ll keep doing my Own Thing,
Walking Tall Against the Rain.

Victory’s within the Mile,
Almost There, Don’t Give Up Now,
Only Thing That’s on My Mind,
Is Who’s Gonna Run This Town Tonight?

Jigga Jigga That Nigga Jigga . . .

It’s been a while, RNS Readers. I had to wait for the proper motivation. My motivation today comes from an entire 72 hours listening to nothing but Jay-Z (there was a brief Eminem Interlude inspired by his Flyness on Renegade). I didn’t know I was a Jay-Z Fan, until I looked through my MP3 library, and noticed I have EVERY album. Even most of the underground Mixtapes. I might not have listened to them, but I have them. And I BOUGHT his albums. Like on CD. Who does that?!?

Even though I downloaded The BluePrint 3, I already ordered my copy from Amazon.com, so I will own that one too. I am almost proud of myself for being Loyal to Jigga for this long. (I can’t even be loyal to what kind of ToothPaste I Like!) I didn’t even listen to him until college, but I quickly understood that he knew what he was talking about. Going through his entire Discography this weekend, I realized WHY I Love Jay-Z . . .

Something about a Suit . . . Even Ugly dudes look good!

Evolution . . .

Sean Carter aka Jigga aka Iceberg Slim aka S. Carter (You Must Try Harder) aka Hova aka Jay-Z has evolved. He went from Rappin’ about the Dope Game, to rappin’ at the Inauguration of the First Black President. In Less than 15 years.

Jay-Z is the Definition of Hip-Hop.
Realizing that lead me to these next few Real Nigga Shit Statements.
. . . Locked In are We?
Real Nigga Shit #57: Everyone can’t Be Your Role Model
People can claim to be a Role Model, but do they know what that means? Soulja Boy swears he’s a Mogul-in-the-Making, but that Fool can’t even spell his name. Everyone isn’t meant to be the next leader of the generation. What has T-Pain done for the Youth, other than lead them into his personal land of Coonery?

Yeah, Diddy was tweeting about the Protests on Howard’s Campus (where he attended, but didn’t graduate) but what group has he ever created and given financial freedom to? The reason he is so rich is because he owns the Publishing to every group he has ever worked with. Back to MJ and Jodeci. So yeah, he is ballin out of control, and is Locked In for the Cause . . . But he’s more of the problem than he is the solution.

Some would say, you can’t look up to a former Drug Dealer. Why Not? Stupid Republican folks look up to a Former Drug Addict (Rush Limbaugh)and a Flaming Idiot (Glenn Beck). Yeah, he was a Drug Mogul . . . But that isn’t where he stayed. He was smart enough to realize that this might pay the bills, but it would also get him killed. So he moved on. Look at the things he has done since he left the drug game, they far outweigh his years on the street.

Nowadays, folks listen for a good hook and a cute dance move. But Lyrically, he didn’t name those albums The Blueprint for nothing. He’s like GIVING people the key to be as big as him. But instead, they listen to Durrough and T-Pain and look for strippers and cars with an Ice Cream Paint Job.

Mogul . . . The True Meaning of the Word
Real Nigga Shit #58: Respect My Conglomerate, Stop Trying to Bankrupt It
Every person you consider a close friend should be down for your cause. And not just think it’s a good idea, but be actively willing to help you reach that goal. Providing you the motivation you need when you are afraid to fail. Even if they think in their head you are going to fall on your face, they still should be down to ride.

I have surrounded myself with so many people who enable me to be less than what I am. After a while, you stop believing in yourself. You get yourself stuck in a rut, and you can’t figure out which way is out.

Cut them Busters LOOSE! I

f they aren’t on your level, and they aren’t trying to get there, why are you with them again? I’d rather not get to talk to you when I want to because we are both busy making something of ourselves, to be honest. If either one of us is easily accessible all the time, what the F*ck are we doing?

This is not a F*ck you to all those people I don’t talk to very often, it’s just a call to arms. Are you on your Grind? Are you on the corner hustlin’ or are you on the Couch watching TV. When you think about where you will be in the next 5 years, does it include the words Debt Free? or Does it include the words, Dealing with the same BullSh*t?

Real Nigga Shit #59: The P-U-S-S-Y is only Powerful Because You Allow It To Be
I Love that Song, really I do! It speaks the truth about so much. Why do men put so much emphasis on getting Money? Power? Fame? Because they are all trying to get laid. Here is my question?

What kind of P-U-S-S-Y are you trying to get?

Because it seems to me that ya’ll are doing all that work to get sub-standard affection? Club Hoes are the one’s who are benefiting from your hard work. You worried about that cough you got since you hit up that chick at Club Esco last week, meanwhile she is on to the next dude that bought her a drink.

Who are you trying to impress?

It must not be real females. Because RNS, We ain’t Impressed. Everything you have, you worked for. So Did We! You spend all your time working, to give your money away. That’s like renting a Condo, don’t make no sense. Then you get mad because the Club Hoe you thought was gone be the Bonnie to your Clyde has 4 Baby Daddies and 2 Kids, has been on Maury 6 Times, and has a bad case of the Herp. Yeah, that P-U-S-S-Y was powerful, and you ain’t the only one who thought so.

What I See Ahead of Me . . .
Real Nigga Shit #59: I’m On To the Next One
Plans Change. At the age of 20, I was going to be the world’s best teacher, changing the way that people taught children. At the age of 24, I was gonna save the Black Youth in Detroit, one non-reading 3rd Grader at a time. At 26, my home daycare was going to revolutionize the industry. At 27, I’m going to use my verbal skills to mold the minds of Teachers, who will then go back and change their students lives.

Sh*t Happens. So does Toilet Paper. Clean up your mess, and move the F*ck on!

If one thing doesn’t work out, you HAVE to move on to the next one. I am still helping children, which has been my underlying goal since I was 10 and I thought I was going to be a pediatrician. I just have to keep adjusting the way that I am doing it. Flexibility isn’t just good in the bedroom (shout out to that Downward Dog Position I just Learned in Yoga) If you aren’t willing to change your habits when you are kicked out of your comfort zone, when will you be?

Because I was actually listening to some of Jay-Z’s lyrics, and the bomb ass interview he did on Real Time with Bill Maher, I realized that his main ambition was not only changing his environment, but finding new environments to Explore and Conquer. I mean, that’s in the Bible. Evolution, moving past what you know, and seeking things you don’t. Understanding that you have a higher purpose, that you aren’t meant to work at McDonald’s or Meijer’s or Kroger’s forever, unless you are working your way up the Corporate Food Chain.

I leave you friends with the Chorus to So Ambitious, my favorite Song on The BluePrint 3

The Motivation For Me
was Them Telling Me What I Could Not Be, Oh Well

I’m So Ambitious . . .
{sic}

Hey I’m on A Mission
No Matter What The Conditions

F*ck all your PERSONAL ISSUES
When You Know What I Been Through

Hey, If You Believe It,
Then You Can Conceive It

Comments are Always Welcome!

An Open Letter to BET Networks

Dear BET:

You came on the scene in the Year of 1980. Two years before I was born, and yet I can remember when you provided the Black Community with a positive outlet for our creativity. From shows such as Video Soul with Donnie Simpson, and later BET News, and BET Tonight with Tavis Smiley, you were able to show the world that Intelligent, Dignified African Americans not only existed, but were able to strive towards greatness everyday.

So what happened? Did my generation miss the memo that said BET was about to become Coontastic Television. Did that bulletin come attached to the free chicken and watermelon you were passing out at 106 & Park after you got rid of Free & AJ? Was it a conscious decision to slowly ruin anyone born after 1995, or was that just an added bonus? Is there a reason that anyone over the age of 23 can’t watch your network without feeling that they have somehow become more ignorant?

I stopped watching BET when I went to College. I think that says alot about your station.

I started college in 1999. For ten years, I have been ashamed that your station existed. You started the destruction of our race slowly, I will give you that. I wouldn’t have noticed it until at least 2005 had it not been for my younger cousins. You started with getting rid of the news shows. Because really, what black person wants to know what is going on in the rest of the world. Replacing the news with BET Uncut was a HUGE step in the Ruin all Black Youth Direction. The next step, getting rid of the College Educated hosts of the one show people actually watched. Introducing us to HitZ from the Streets and to taking us into Cita’s World, I mean who doesn’t like a computer animated ignorant black woman?

Finally, Bob Johnson was able to hand over the reigns to that Black Wunderkind Debra Lee! We as a people just KNEW with a black woman running things, BET was about to get it together. Boy were we wrong! First, you decided it would be a good deal to stop showing videos all together! Except for BET Uncut, because that was making so many young prostitutes rich. (The Mockery that is 106 & Park isn’t even on my radar, thus it’s lack of acknowledgment as an actually TV Show.)

And of course, what the world needed was more “Reality” TV! Because seeing Poor Black People in real life, is SO much better than trying to educate them. Again, I must give you props for the way it was handled. You didn’t just push “College Hill” – the only show about College that doesn’t show people actually going to school – on us right away. You worked your way up to it!

Kudos to you for BET ComicView: The Coontastic Comedy show. Originally hosted by a Black Woman in the Kitchen and Renaldo Ray. I am sure getting him was a FIND! Then you kept the laughs coming with Spring Bling and Baldwin Hills and Finally, the PIECE DE RESISTANCE, the Frankie and Neffie Show. Because every Coontastic character should get their own show. It was bad enough that Keyshia Cole had to include them on her show while trying to show people how she rose above. Now we have to see them every week! Yes BET! Score one for the Team!

But, now BET. Let’s get down to the reason I am actually writing this letter. The 2009 Coon Awards ft. a “Tribute” to the Pop Icon Michael Joe Jackson. Where do I start? Can I first say, I will never watch your station again. I don’t care if Jesus has decided to come back and prove that he is really a negro, I won’t be watching. Honestly, he will probably just go on MTV and be done with it.

Debra Lee, you disgust me. You are the scum between my toes. To actually get on that stage, and ask people to clap for the great “efforts” your staff made is like saying a Jewish Lawyer isn’t Wealthy. Just POINTLESS. Besides the fact that Michael Jackson’s father was in the audience (with Your Favorite Heavily Activated Activist Al “Make It About Me” Sharpton), did you really think that no one would know how horrible of a job you had done?

The Sound Quality was atrocious, the Lighting was off, and half the performers were drunk and/or high. Have you no Couth? Have you no respect for the one black man other than Barack Obama that made black people mean something to the world? When is it EVER acceptable not to have at least a 30 second delay on a live taping? While I did chuckle when Eddie Levert made his slip up, I did not find it funny to see Lil’ Wayne tell me to “Put Up my hands for Michael Jackson in that Bitch.”

Every single performance should have been cancelled! Every single one. If you are going to dedicate a performance to someone, they event should embody that person’s spirit. Michael Jackson did NOT sing about Fucking Every Girl in the World. He did not Hop out of a Bed with his Swag on. He did not ever sing about Birthday Sex. SUBTLETY is what was required at this event. Respect and Dignity. This was an EPIC FAIL for your company, EPIC. I hope you lose all your advertising partners for that Travesty of a show. If you are going to do it, do it well. Or Just Don’t Do It At ALL!

Michael Jackson expected perfection in EVERYTHING he did. I was actually sad to see Janet Jackson come on the stage, because I knew she had seen what came before her. Young Money and their anthem of Ignorance. Have you heard a Michael Song? Did you watch the videos you have been showing for the last few days? Did you take ANY of that into account? Better yet, did you care?

Singing in my kitchen while washing Dishes two nights in a row was a better tribute than what you did. Going to Karaoke and singing Michael Jackson Songs badly is a better tribute. Blasting P.Y.T. out of my car on the freeway is a better tribute. My friends and I had planned a better tribute via Twitter, FaceBook, and MySpace. EPIC FAIL. I can’t say that enough.

BET you now epitomize everything that Dr. Martin Luther King died to prevent. You have SINGLE HANDEDLY destroyed an entire generation of black children. I hope you are proud of yourselves. I will leave you with a lyric from one of the numerous awesome songs by Michael Jackson:

Tell me what has become of my rights
Am I invisible because you ignore me?
Your proclamation promised me free liberty, now

I’m tired of bein’ the victim of shame
They’re throwing me in a class with a bad name
I can’t believe this is the land from which I came

You know I do really hate to say it
The government don’t wanna see
But if Martin Luther was livin’
He wouldn’t let this be . . .

All I Wanna Say is That
They Don’t Really Care about Us

Sincerely,
M.J. Williams

Real Nigga Shit (c) AK Vol 10: The 30 is NOT the New 20 Edition

*Changed up the Format a lil’ bit. The old Format will be back for Real Nigga Shit Vol 11: Step Out of the Greek Matrix*
This N*gga Lied . . .

The Move to Arizona was not only about the sucky Michigan economy, it was a way to start over. Because even though people lie and say that you have until you are at least 35 to get it together, why is that acceptable? 30 in NOT the new 20. It’s 30. And by 30, if you are a College Graduate, with ample work experience, and you still live at home with a parent, it just might be you. Everything isn’t the economy/recession. You might be the thing that needs some fixin’.

It’s coming up friends . . .
I’m about to be 30 years old, and I have some regrets. There are at least 3 times in my life where I made a choice that did something that changed my life forever, and not in a good way. I wonder when it became the new thing to pretend that you had everything fIgured out. Like yeah, I’m a Grown Woman, and my life is perfect. To look at your friends, and pretend that you don’t sometimes cry at night because it’s just gotten too hard to handle. That doesn’t make you a messed up female, it makes you human. The difference between me and (most of) my friends, is that I usually admit my flaws.

If I had understood at 14, what I have had to learn the hard way by the age of 27, I would be a different person. If I had stopped talking during Biology, and stayed at Mercy, my whole life would have been different. If I hadn’t made the stupid ass decision in March of 2003, and stayed at UD, I could have been married to (Then) the Man of my Dreams. If I had not fought for that extra 4 dollars an hour, I could be making more money than my mother EVER has.

Ahhhh … Youth
I’ve made some choices, and done some things, and dealt with some people that I am not proud of. (Here comes the part where I turn this around into a positive note) But today, I’m Me. I’m not at the level I want to be. Real Talk, I don’t know when will ever be. But I can’t ever say I didn’t do what I wanted to do. I can never say, I wish I had . . . I made my choices, loved who I wanted to love, went where I wanted to go, did what I wanted to do.

Your 20’s is the time to completely screw up your life. Because the outside world will look at you like, “Oh, she’s just 24, 25, 26, she has no clue what she is doing.” You can get arrested for public Drunkeness, then leave the police station and get on the road to Ohio for the weekend. You can live paycheck to paycheck because you have the need to travel at least once a month. You can be selfish, because it isn’t like you have anyone else that depends on you (unless you have children, but that is a WHOLE different blog). You can do dumb shit, then recover from it. Because You are just learning from life.

But are you really?
But what happens when you are 32, and still have a roommate? That’s not having a budget, that’s not taking care of your responsibilities. What happens when you’re 34, and spend every night at the Club? In every picture that CrushMedia takes, what does that say about you? It’s probably not saying that you’re super photogenic. What happens when you’re 33 and still standing outside your ex’s house yelling because his new girl looked at you crazy when you came to get the kids? Not “I’m a Grown Ass Woman”, that’s for damn sure!

After you get to about 27, it’s time to take stock of your life. Have a small “Quarter Life Crisis” as Eva the Diva would say. This isn’t going to work for everyone. I’m not saying that everyone has to have their life together, I’m just saying that some of us do. It’s time to step out of the Greek Matrix and get a real job. It’s time to stop being a Club Hopper and move out of your mother’s house. It’s time to stop being a damn heaux and find a STABLE relationship.

It’s hard enough to be a Smart, Educated, Common Sense having Black (or White) Person in society. But when all you see on BET, MTV, VH1 is coonery and tomfoolery, it’s time to step up and be better. Try to be better. Society expects us to fail, that is why they were about ready to kill themselves when Obama got Elected. Find a lil’ cousin who spends all their time watching 106 & Park, and take them to a museum. Do something! Because it’s not looking too good right now. The class of 2012 is looking like the Coons of 1889 at this point (STILL PISSED ABOUT WHIP IT LIKE A SLAVE!). Never should watching TV make me want to volunteer at the Boy’s and Girls Club!

I’m Just Sayin’ . . . Our President is Black.
Be the Change you want to see. Stop bitching and complaining On your Twitter, and in your status messages. Stop looking at H.A.M new Greeks, and pull them to the side and HELP THEM OUT. Because they are Killing Greek Life right now! Stop letting lil boy’s curse around you in the store. If their parents aren’t doing it, then you do it. I mean, don’t beat them in the streets but DO SOMETHING.

Because someone did something for you. You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Ms. Davis up the street who used to call your mother when you went past the 3rd tree down the block. At the time you hated her for being a snitch, but that Snitchin’ Ass Old Lady up the Block was looking out for you. She made sure you didn’t get attacked by the killer dog up the street, or the crackhead down the road.

30 is NOT the new 20. It’s 30. Most of the people I tag in this note are probably on the same page as me. Then again, I might be wrong. But I didn’t tag you because I think this is something you need to hear, or because I think your life is in shambles. I tagged you because I trust you to read this, then spread it around to those who aren’t fortunate to be as smart as us 🙂

Thanx for Reading. NOW COMMENT!