Tag Archive | FaceBook

30 Day Writing Challenge: 5 Problems with Social Media

So I’m a day late getting this started, because  . . . Life.  I’m going to try relally hard to stay on point, and do every single day. So without furthur ado . . .


I Miss Her . .

1) Amber is no longer a part of it.
In July, my friend, Soror, Sister Amber Pratcher passed away unexpectedly. I’d gotten so used to seeing posts from her on a daily basis, conversing with in various FB groups, live-tweeting events with her on Twitter, that her absence is felt daily.  I miss her snide comments, her commanding me to Stay Woke and be an active voice.  I just miss her. Social Media isn’t the same.  We became frineds viz Social Media (College Club and BlackPlanet) and she was able to touch so many lives using it as a medium.  Social media just isn’t the same without her.

2) Everyone has access to it.
I see some of the dumbest shit on Social Media being passed off as fact, because dumb people are trying to stay woke too.  #HotepTwitter is running rampant with their memes about false African Facts.  You see quotes being assigned to people that aren’t true, and people are just off believing it.  I’ve lost some hero’s because of Social Media as well. Sometimes, you need the veil between your Idea of an artist, and that artist’s actual personallity.  Jill Scott completely lost me as a fan for about 5 months over that Bill Cosby is innocent series of Tweets.  While everyone deserves to have avoice, Social Media has led me to believe everyone’s voice shouldn’t be heard.

3) It’s Far Too Addictive
My mom has run up my Phone Bill all because of Facebook.  She discovered that it’s an excellent way to pass time.  She watches all the videos, like all of them.  Every single one that ever shows up pn her TimeLine.  When she was staying with me last year, her phone was connected to my WiFi, so she wasn’t using data.  She can go through 2 GB’s of Data in 5 days. She doesn’t even stream music!! Clearly, I’ve been spoiled with my unlimited Data for the last 6 years, but still.

4) It’s really Invasive
If you allow it to be that is.  I used to give people way too much access to me and my life on Social Media.  I wrote a blog about it and everything. {Insert hyperlink} I shouldn’t know about the problems of your relationship because you post it all on FB.  I souldn’t know your ovulation cycle because of Twitter.  We give people access they haven’t earned, and then are upset when they butt into our lives.  The smartest thing I ever did was stop personalizing my Facebook page.  I can share my happiness without sharing the details with the world.  It’s better that way, at least I think so.

5) I don’t know a 5th Bad thing
Because in general I like Social Media.  It’s a way for me to be connect to my friends, most of whom I actually met on Social Media.  They live all over the country, and I can keep up with their lives via Facebook and Instagram and sometimes Twitter.  Social Media is a part of my everyday life.  Less than it used to be, that’s for sure.  But checking in on a daily basis is expected. 

Black Girl Pain – Life Support . . .

As part of my unofficial Dealing with Depression Series, I want to talk to you about Support Systems, and why they are so important to making you who and what you are.  This is going to be broken into sections, because my view of support systems, and what they consist of is based on my life and my life only.  I’m not a psychologist.  I’m just telling you what I know, what I think, and what I wish other people would understand.  Feel free to disagree with me, dialogue is important!

What is a Support System?

The people who have your back no matter what.  I’m not talking about the boys you go out to the club with, or your girls at work.  I’m talking about the people that keep you sane, and make you think.  The people that question you, and your decisions. Not because they think you are stupid, but because at the end of the day, they want to make sure you are going to be okay.

When I was younger, I thought everyone had a support system.  I thought every family was like the Henry Family.  A family that consisted of strong men, who wore suits everyday, and went to work everyday.  Men who graduated from college, and supported their family.  Women who were college educated, and made career choices based on their skill level, not just what was available.  Women who made sure their children got the best of everything, and understood their worth as individuals.  In the bubble that is the Henry Family, that was the STANDARD. Not the Exception.

Because my family was raised around like minded people, that is all I saw.  There were 5 or 6 huge families at my childhood church.  They all were raised in the same way, thought the same way, and lived their lives the way we did.  When I was younger, my whole life was Littlefield St and True Love Missionary Baptist Church.  I was extremely sheltered from the Real World, and as I get older, I am so pleased that I was.

The Real World . . .

is SCARY.  There are all kinds of people who are out there to hurt you.  So yes, I stayed inside my bubble that was cultivated just for me.  It wasn’t until I got to public high school that I found out that people who said they were your friend would actually stab you in the back.  I’m a very naive person, because I intrinsically believe that people are good.  Even though I know that bad exists, I was raised to be a GOOD PERSON.  I was raised to do the right thing, even if you don’t end up winning.

I Was Raised . . .

and not everyone was.  Your first Support System should be your parents.  They are the people that instill the first set of values in you.  Those core values, that you take with you for the rest of your life.  These are the lessons that should explain the ways of the world to you.  But what if your parents aren’t there for you? What if their priority was each other, or drugs, or alcohol? What if through no fault of your own, your parents just weren’t there?

Then you have had no form of guidance.  You have no way to figure out what is right or wrong.  OR, your perception of Right Vs. Wrong is easily viewed based on your survival. OR, your perception of Good and Evil is based on what you observed in your youth. You might do things that are not necessarily legal because you need to eat, or you have to take care of your younger siblings, or you need a roof over your head for the night. You might completely violate the boundaries of another person, and not understand why they are so upset.  How you see the world is most often based on the World You Have Seen . . .

Survival of the Fittest

Those who make it prosper, those who don’t will have a hard life.  This isn’t to say that everyone can’t make it.  But those that rise above to overcome usually have found a reliable support system.  Sometimes, your friends can be the family you never had.  Sometimes, your extended family treats you better than the people that should biologically care the most about you.

The point is, if you want to survive you will.  I recently asked a friend who his support system was, he could only think of one person.  He has been supporting himself for so long, he stopped relying on others.  Honestly, he’s one of the most well adjusted people that I know, except for one area of his life. But the area causes him the most problems, is based almost solely on the lack of a support system.

After You’ve Done all You Can

I have lots of friends, who feel that Jesus is the only form of Support you need in your life.  Feeling there is a higher power who has some input in the happenings of your life didn’t just start with Christians.  It’s been around for quite sometime.  Celestial Support Systems are great, if you are actually dedicated to them.

I’ve seen lots of folk who only ask for support during the bad times, and give themselves all the credit when things are going great. Whether you believe in The Secret, The Bible, Wicca, or the Qur’an: use that belief to lift people up and support them. Don’t use it to tear people down.

The Point of it All . . . .

is knowing that you NEED a support system.  System implies that there is more than one person involved.  I have some friends that I can tell everything and have no fear of being judged.  Some friends that I have to only tell certain parts of my life. I have the FaceBook 40 aka #FGSSUM07, a group of people that I would have never dealt with had it not been for the Internet.  I have Sorority Sisters and Frat Brothers, Twitter Friends and GChat Buddies.  I have friends that became family, and family that became friends.

I am truly grateful that I have a system of people that support me.  That worry about me, and want the best from me.  Yes, at times it can be a pain in the ass, but more often than the not, it’s a blessing.  Because even within my Support System I have friends who have never been as lucky as I am.

. . . Each One Reach One . . .

We often find it easy to walk away from people when things aren’t working out.  To end 10 year relationships because we aren’t getting our way.  Just remember, if that person was once a major part of your life, you might have been part of theirs. You don’t want to leave them rolling around looking for that Piece of Themselves that was lost in the fight. . .

Seriously People, Get Over Yourselves . . .

By Now, you probably know how I feel about Society’s attack of Chris Brown.  Yes, I root for those who I feel have been disenfranchised by the assholes who are in charge of the world.

So today, we shall discuss the creation of
Team Lebron Has No Integrity.

Yup, he was 16

First: The Decision

Hey Guess What.  Ya’ll have been on Lebron’s Balls since he was in High School. And not even like senior year of High School, like Sophomore Year.  So why in the ass fuck hell are you surprised that he turned his decision into an Event.  ESPN was broadcasting his high school games.  REGULAR SEASON GAMES.  Not even Play-Offs.  I don’t even WATCH Basketball and I knew who he was before he even picked a team.

Keep in Mind.  I left work to watch The Decision.  NOT because I cared what his decision was, but because I KNEW my Twitter Timeline was going to go HAM during the broadcast.  I wasn’t wrong.  Some of the best things I saw.

RT @ambboogie: RT @maronziovance: If Lebron leaves Cleveland, the state of Ohio will go into foreclosure.

@tysofly: Dear Cleveland, If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it! – Love, Lebron

And this was BEFORE the Letter from Dan Gilbert.

@0_oMzJoy: He looks like Santa Claus……..or the Grinch that stole Cleveland’s economy.

@tdixonspeaks: What young 20 something man with money and fame WOULDN’T go to Miami? #duh

So Lebron is Going to Miami with Bosh and Wade. Cuz he wants to Win.

Cue the Riots, Angry Tweets, and FB Stati

So It is Written, So It Shall Be Done

Folks was burning Jersey’s in the street.  Oh woe is Cleveland.  It will never be the same.  We will just continue to rot in the recesses of the Midwest.  What will be do now that our Major Economic Resource has left us?!?!?!

You mean to tell me the ONLY thing that Cleveland had going for itself was ONE MAN. Not even the team, but ONE MAN. Ya’ll can’t think of anything else that you can do to make ya’ll feel better as a city?!?!?

Second: Dan Gilbert is a Douchebag

Not only is he a Douchebag, but he’s a racist, arrogant, assholish prick.  We won’t even discuss that he’s a fucking IDIOT for posting that letter on the teams website.  But what self-respecting white man posts an open letter in blue Comic Sans font.  Dear Sir, You Suck.

The first thing I thought while reading the letter, “You Mad Huh?” Are you seriously that offended that he held a press conference at announce his decision? You mad that he was tired of carrying your damn city.  He’s been doing it since he was 18? Ya’ll couldn’t get it together in that 7 years.  Ya’ll don’t give a hell about him.

Jesse Jackson was on point (IMO) when he said that letter was written with a Slave Owners Mentality.  He was mad because his Prize Stallion decided to leave.  Nothing in that letter said anything about how much LeBron has helped the team (or the City of Cleveland for that matter). My favorite Line:

The self-declared former “King” will be taking the “curse” with him down south. And until he does “right” by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch.

Raving Lunatic

Did you just say Just Watch in a business letter?!?!?  Dan Gilbert, You Sir are Fired.  Then, to make matter’s worse, he changed the cost of LeBron’s Fathead.com wall posting from $99 to $17. His explanation, “That’s the year Benedict Arnold was Born.” ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL?!?!? Just, Dammit.

Third: Lebron is Selfish?

Okay, seriously people, get over yourself.  Stop with the bitching and moaning about how he’s ruined his Legacy because he left Cleveland.  HE’S 25 YEARS OLD. If his legacy has already been created, I feel sorry for him.  He hasn’t been in the NBA long enough to HAVE a Legacy.  His Legacy is going to be made NOW.

Now that he has taken control of his career, and he knows what he wants to do with it.  Barring any major injuries, this is going to be the time when we see what Lebron is really made of.  When he is part of a team that has players who know how to play, who all have the same common goal.  A team that is not waiting on him to be “Captain Win the Playoffs.”  THIS is when he will get to be Great.

Yes We Did?

Old school players are steady chiming in on his decision. “This would have never happened in the years of MJ & Magic & Bird” OF COURSE IT WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED!!! It was a different era.  Money was not the end all be all.  You didn’t really worry about endorsements.  TMZ wasn’t around to catch your every action.  They were around during a time that two parent households were the norm.  A time when your high school coach tried to help you be a man, not sleep with your mom.

He’s a 25 year old man.  He made a decision a 25 year old man would make.  Besides, who wants to be on a team with the guy who slept with your mom.  I mean really.  Maybe Gilbert should have done more to deal with that situation, instead of writing prissy ass letters.

Integrity, Honor, Respect are Learned Behaviors.  If you had no one who looked at you as a child/man who needed to be molded into that (as opposed to a Meal Ticket), are we really expecting him to have all of those?  Instead of being pissed off that people are comparing him to you, Michael Jordan, why don’t you take Lebron under your wing?  That’s right I forgot you are too busy cheating on your wife.

In closing, how ’bout all of you Shut the Fuck Up and Leave LeBron alone.  Let him be great, or at least part of a Great Team.  He’s Earned That.

RNS (c)AK Vol. 16 – No Seriously, I Am Better Than You….

*Author’s Note: I wrote this entire blog by hand today, during the world’s worst training.  It was the only thing that kept me awake*

When D. Hayes {http://redgumbo.wordpress.com} and I originally created this phrase, it was a tool to adequately describe how we looked at the outside world.  We had both come to the conclusion that we had to be doing something right.  But how did we know how to be on top, and certain folks just weren’t getting it.  When we first started using the phrase, some people took it as a joke.  Many people took it to mean that we were bragging about ourselves.  However, IMO, the phrase is self explanatory.  You should take it literally.  I am, in all honesty, Better Than You.

Nine Times out of Ten, I am going to be Smarter, Classier, and More Accomplished than you.  I have done more in 28 years, than some people will accomplish in their entire life.  The intended purpose of this blog is not to brag about my greatness, but instead to inspire you to step your game up.  Because the MINUTE you are Better than Me, – I WILL take it to the next level – and again be able to say, I am Better than You.

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

As I continue to evolve as a woman, the people who I surround myself with will change.  People come in and out of your life for a reason.  But the core of these people, the thing that makes me want to know more about them is going to stay the same. We Know Who We Are.  We are confident in the path that we are taking.  Our time is spent heading toward some kind of goal.  This is not to say that we won’t falter, or lose our way occasionally.  But you can be assured that we will find our way back to where we’re supposed to be, and continue to make you feel like you should step your game up.

The problem with having this often internal confidence is that you might encounter a “Poser.”  One who knows what to say, because they have spent time observing you and your counterparts.  They can talk to the talk, but when it comes down to it, they utterly fail at walking the walk.

IF one lives by the “I Am Better Than You” Credo:

  1. Said person doesn’t have to damage the life/reputation of another, because THEIR life/reputation speaks for itself.
  2. Said person’s popularity is not based on a group of people and how they relate to the outside world.
  3. Said person’s popularity is not based on the favors/information/gifts they give/receive to/from others.

So Remember . . . Before You Use the Phrase .  .  .  . Live The Phrase

I’m Not Perfect, But I’m Still Better Than You

My Life has been pretty much an open book since I discovered MySpace. I blogged about everything that happened, and even things that didn’t.  I don’t have a problem admitting my flaws.  I really don’t care what you think about what I do.  But even in my imperfection, I’m Pretty Fucking Awesome.  With every failure I have learned, and grown, and become better.

I don’t always make the right decisions, but when I DO make the right decision, it’s a beautiful thing.  Even when I make the wrong decision, I come out on top.  Why? Because I Am Better than You.  I don’t let one failure take me out.  If I can turn that failure into a win, I will.  If I have to take one to the chin, I will.

The difference between Me and You . . . .  Motivation.

My Motivation, the reason that I wake up in the morning, is to be Better than You.  Your motivation is to be the prettiest, the most popular, well loved, richest person in the world. WHY?!?! If you have all that, but there is someone better than you, you still ain’t shit.  I’m Just Sayin . . . .

Yes, I am the Bigger Person . . . and that makes me Better Than You

We can use that term literally if you would like.  I’m bigger than you, I could suffocate you with my left boob Paula.  {The Girls are named Paula and Dean – as they provide hours of enjoyment, and could feed the world 🙂 } But beyond that, I have a tad bit more Couth than You.  For my FB Old Heads, you already know that FGS Summer ’07 is often imitated, but will never be duplicated.  We were a rare breed.  Assholes with a heart.  Yes, we would talk all about you on FB, on the walls, in notes, in status messages but with the exception of that BMN Otis, it never got personal.

People are on that newness in 2010.  The Skype Mafia is running around all willy nilly.  Watching the Tweets, and talking to people who can’t even see them.  What makes it even more interesting, is that the Soldier who was asked to put out the hit doesn’t even know why the beef exists anyway.  Because I am the Bigger Person, I haven’t opened my mouth. But keep playing with me, and Imma go straight Elliot Ness on all of yall . . . .

Even though My Life didn’t start out  Better than Yours . . .

I Can Still Be Better Than You

IMO, I had a rough childhood.  According to GID, my childhood was a cake-walk.  You can only aspire to what you are exposed to.  So, I might not know who Bach is, or be able to send Bill Gates an email when I feel like it, but I will figure out a way to.  The Mindset of  “I Am Better Than You” teaches us that even if I didn’t come from your world, that doesn’t mean I don’t belong there.

Judge not my past, instead observe my present and prepare yourself for my future. I might just be using you as a stepping stone. “Any idiot can string together words from the dictionary and sound intelligent,” it’s those that can define those words and then apply them to their life that make a difference.

You might think all of this is Bull.  You might think I am saying this to cover up for some insecurities I have about my life, and the path I have taken.  You are free to make whatever assumption you would like.  But while you are discussing my deep-seated issues, I’m figuring out how to tangibly prove, I Am Better Than You.

Words and Sounds of My Life Vol IX: Laaaaaaaaaavhe You or Eat A D*ck N*gga

Yes, that is exactly how I feel right about now.  I kept stopping myself from writing this blog. Because I didn’t want to hurt peoples feelings.  I actually used to care about other people’s feelings.  But Post-Nashville (yes, that is an actual time element now) I really don’t give a Hell.  Not One Hell.  Actually, I give less than two good got damns about your feelings.  Because, CLEARLY, you don’t care about mine.  And, that’s fine.  But, as my last and final Fuck You . . . . I Just wanted to share these words with you . . .

Gossip Folks – Missy Elliot

When I walk up in the piece, I ain’t gotta even speak
I’m a bad mamajama goddammit motherfucker you ain’t gotta like me
How you studying these hoes, Need to talk what you know
Stop talking bout who I’m sticking and licking jus mad it ain’t yours

I KNOW you talk about me.  I KNOW you spend whole internet conversations talking about how “Thirsty” I am, or “Fat” or “Dumb” or “Lonely.”  I KNOW you’re mad I KNOW that you do . . . . and yet I couldn’t even tell the Lord what you do(prolly cuz I don’t give a Fuck).

Yes, I tweet my life story, because it’s my Twitter Account.  You Mad because I get emotional at night?!? You Mad because people respond back to me?!?! Be Mad, cuz Imma keep doing it. Unfollow me, UnFriend Me, UnSkype Me . . . I won’t know.  Cuz you got deleted, blocked a LONG ASS TIME AGO.  Thanks for talking about me though, glad to know You Care 🙂

Over – Drake

I know way too many people here right now
That I DIDN’T know last year
WHO THE FUCK ARE YA’LL . . . . . .
What am I doing, What am I doing?
Oh Yeah thats Right,
I’m Doing Me, I’m Doing Me
I’m living life right now man
and this what I’m do til its over, til it’s over,

But it’s far from over . . . . . . .

I actually started caring what COMPLETE FUCKING STRANGERS thought about me.  I hold quite firm in my assertion that Social Networking is a ClusterFuck in the hands of the wrong people.  Be it Twitter,FaceBook, Skype, BBM, AIM,  or Blackplanet, people will abuse it to make themselves feel/good/better.  If we are on the same level, why the FUCK why, am I censoring my thoughts because you might get offended.  FUCK YOU.  Unless you are directly affecting my paycheck, you can EAT A DICK NIGGA.  A Whole Bag of Baby Ones actually.

Renegade – Eminem Ft. Jay-Z

RENEGADE! Never been afraid to say
what’s on my mind at, any given time of day

Cause I’m a RENEGADE! Never been afraid to talk
about anything (ANYTHING) anything (ANYTHING),


That part of me is coming back.   I was trying so hard to be friends with everyone.  Meanwhile, back at the ranch, not a damn person was trying to be friends with me.  I have bitten my tongue for the LAST time.  I will go back to the old me.  Saying whatever I want, whenever I want.  The measure of a good friend is someone who doesn’t force you to stifle yourself, because it makes them uncomfortable.

So Please Note:

  • I KNOW you’re mad because I’m happy.
  • You Should Know, outsiders think you’re a groupie.
  • You Aren’t THAT DAMN CUTE.
  • Yes, You are an asshole, and you’re ugly as sin.
  • Yes, you sound like a man.
  • Yes, you will continue to be lonely if you don’t get off the pedestal you put yourself on.
  • Yes, I lost all respect for you as a man.
  • Yes, You Could have Gotten it if people hadn’t been there.
  • Yes, I no longer consider you a Soror.
  • Sorry, I never really liked you anyway.
  • Otis Toussaint, you are still a Bitch.  You will always be a Bitch.
  • Hi Hater!

No Apologies – Eminem
No Apologies, nah suckers I’m not sorry
You can all sue me, y’all could be the cause of me
No Apologies, y’all feelin’ the force of me
No remorse for me, like there was no recourse for me
No Apologies, not even acknowledging you at all
’till I get a call that god’s coming
No Apologies, laugh fuckers it’s all funny
I can spit in ya face while your standin’ across from me,
No Apologies
But Just In Case you thought I got to the end, and felt bad about what I just said , I’ll leave you with this.


Have a GREAT Discussion about this one.  Hope it give’s you NIGHTS of fodder.
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavhe You

RNS (c) AK Vol. 14: Social Networking – Good Idea or Clusterf*ck of Epic Proportions? You Decide . . .

Hello Friends. How is life going for you? Really . . . . that’s awesome! Well, if you don’t know what is going on with me, feel free to read the 9, count them 9, blogs that I have written in January. I recently had a mini-emotional breakdown, and it lead to 72 of no sleep, lots of crying, and finally me turning off my BlackBerry for 24 hours.Yes, you heard right. I, M. J. W., went 24 HOURS without my BlackBerry.

So you know something was really bothering me right? I kept trying to figure out why, every time I turned my back, there was some other kind of drama that I was being bombarded with. It was like Drama (Lonely’s Best Friend) was following me EVERYWHERE!! I couldn’t shake that Heaux loose!

Shutting off my phone helped me to realized something very important: Too many people had access to me. Between FaceBook, Twitter, Skype, BlackBerry Messenger, Yahoo Messenger, Text Messaging, Email, and actual phone conversations, my life was being taken over by, for all intents and purposes, by Fictional Characters in the Story of my life.

Those Three Weeks lead me to these new RNS Facts . . .

RNS #61: FaceBook = Stalker’s Paradise.I joined FaceBook for one reason only. I wanted to see what my friends from Middle School, High School and College were up to. I joined FB at the end of 2006, and it’s been a roller coaster ride ever since. People have found me that I HATED in Middle School. I have been able to keep tabs on people I had loved from afar in High School. I could track that moments of a backstabbing whore when I have to go and wreck shop. I know people are pregnant before THEY do. FB gives me SO much power.

But at what cost? Friendships/relationships have been destroyed via FB as well. Lies told, lies covered up, whole faux relationships begun, all under the guise of Social Networking. THEY STARTED A DAMN e-Sorority and e-Fraternity. REALLY!! I’m not even going to talk about the ramifications Social Networking has had on the Greek World.

{Side Note: Remember back in the day when you could feel hella elitist because you had a FB account and your friends who dropped out of school couldn’t.}

RNS #62: Skype = 3 Way CallingRemember back in high school, when you liked a boy. And you didn’t want to tell him you liked him, but you wanted to find out if he liked you. So you told your girl to call him on 3-Way, so she could ask him what he thought about you. That is Skype. 7 people talking about whatever via their computers. Any Skype Conversation with more than 4 people = ClusterF*ck.

It gives you easy access to people, often during times when you don’t want it. If you didn’t set up the call, you can’t control who is in the room. This is a problem for the control freak in me, that likes to have a say in EVERYTHING. However, it does let you hear someones vocal intonation when they say certain things, and it’s all in the tone of voice.

Skype should only used for watching Football and Award Shows. Anything other than that is just TROUBLE waiting to happen. I swear, all this internet stuff is making me forget I Don’t Like People!

RNS #63: BBM = Text Messaging for the Young ProfessionalI have 63 BBM contacts. I talk to 10 of them on a fairly frequent basis. Some are family, some are friends, some are Blue People, but most are Twitter/Skype/FB contacts that I added to feel important. Do you really HAVE to be friends with me on every Social Network available? I will say, BBM does allow you to know if/when people actually received your message, thus allowing you to hold them accountable for answering your message.

BlackBerries were originally made for Business Men and Women, who needed a way to take their office with them everywhere. This is why, when I woke up at 4:00am to get my BlackBerry Storm on November 16th, 2008, the only people out there with me were 40+ business men. I do know people who use their BlackBerries for work, but how many people have them just because? Must everything be a popularity contest?

Why did BBM have to come up with Groups? It’s just another way that people can communicate when they are supposed to be working. I am so much more productive when I don’t have access to the InterWeb and/or My Phone is dying.

RNS #64: The Tweets is Watching = Private ain’t Really PrivateI LOVE TWITTER. I have been cheating on FB w/ Twitter for sometime now. Twitter is like FB on Speed. You have 140 characters or less to say what you need to say. Get in, get out, or STFU. But, just like FB/Skype/BBM people are watching you. Even if you have a private profile, once someone RT’s a comment you made and they DON’T have a private profile, your information is still out there. #Follow Friday’s alone almost got me fired a FEW times.

I have a Twitter Persona. Hell, everyone has a Twitter Persona or a FB Persona or an Internet Persona (Atom Kane & Lauren George anyone) Having to remember who I am, where, is stressful as hell. Then the Twitter Friends start talking to the Skype Friends, who all have BBM so they join the BBM Skype Group, and they all have Facebook.

RNS #65: I Like My Friends Where They Are, Stop Trying to Bring Them Together.

I don’t like my friends to mesh. It’s a fact, everyone who has known me for a while knows this. The reason I don’t like friends to mesh is simple: Everyone doesn’t have to part of my life, in every way shape or form. I have a very diverse group of friends, and I am quite sure they could probably all get along quite well.

Example  A) I have a large population of Pale Friends, and my pale friends LOVE me. But they love the me that has adapted herself to making them comfortable. My vocal range changes, I am a tad bit less hood, and they are comfortable. This is not to say I’m a poser, or they are actually racist, but they have a vision of me that makes them comfortable, and I like to keep it that way

Example  B) I’m a Black Greek. When I hang with Black Greeks, we all have a certain mindset. If/When my other friends are around us, and we are discussing Black Greek things, they have told me it makes them feel left out. So I don’t publicize my Zeta-Ness.

Example  C) MY FAMILY IS ON FACEBOOK! Thus, I can’t act a complete and utter ass. I have a very ethnically diverse family, me using the NWord might offend them. I can’t just curse all willy nilly, because my Big Sister LaRita will yell at me (Deference FTMFW).

TOO MUCH NETWORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, what have I learned so far in 2010 . . . Keep it to a minimum. I caused my problem, I accept that. I gave too many people access, when I should have made SURE that I didn’t let people cross my lines.

So, my new Rule:

If we are friends on more than 3 Social Networking Mediums . . . You better be my Best Friend, My Man, Family, VIP or working your way to those Titles.

The Great UnFollow has already begun, with more to come in the very near future. Because I value my Sanity . . . and my Friends.


Real Nigga Shit (c) AK: Volume 13 – Have You No Couth?!? Things that Pissed me the F*ck Off in 2009

Yes, this is going to be an angry blog. I don’t have any sage advice, or things to think about for you this time. This is all about ME, and why I am always so damn angry. Yes, I have high standards. But in 2009, people went far beyond what I could excuse, and went right into just doing Dumb Shit. These are in no particular order, one is not more important than the other. Enjoy.


1) Nikki Minaj

Her name alone pisses me off. But it’s more what she seems to represent. Sub-par rap lyrics + Half Nekkid Whore Look = Success!


I don’t wanna see you squatting spread eagle licking a lollipop. WTF, put that inside your album cover as a poster like Lil’ Kim did. You are trying to be like her right? Take a lesson from your mentor, she did it better. You can’t rap. At least Lil’ Kim has a sick ass flow.

You rap about dumb shit, and you empower dumb hood broads to say they are a Barbie Doll. WTF Dude! Not only did she sample, “I don’t wanna go to Mexico No More More More” {a childhood favorite of mine} in a gotdamn rap, but she she actually rhymed Bestest with the word asbestos. Really Heaux, Fucking Really?????

I hate you. I hope you read this and understand that I hate you. I might email it to you, but that would mean that you actually knew how to use a computer for more than cybersex and googling pics of Lil’ Kim. Sorry, I’ll put it in the mail for you.

Not the Business!

2) Public Displays of Affection

I don’t diss your love. I congratulate you for your relationship. I do not, however, want to pull up into my parking spot and see you and your man dry humping in the building. This is your job heaux!


When was it EVER ok to be in front of the counter making out with your man? When!!!! And not only were you sucking his face, but you had the nerve to – on more than one occasion – move into the corner of the store, like I still couldn’t see you. BITCH THE WALLS ARE MADE OF GLASS!!! I F*cking See You! So does everyone else in the complex.

No matter how much you love your man, he should respect you enough to not have you looking like a dime store trick AT YOUR GOTDAMN JOB!!!!! I really had a mind to call corporate, because that shit was just inappropriate. Then he walked out the door when I walked up. Like I didn’t know all about his stroke game after watching him give his girl the dry-hump dick down for 20 minutes. Just dammit man.  Speaking of asshole Boyfriends . . .


3) Asshole Boyfriends/Fiance’s/Husbands

The litany, All Men are Dogs, has been run into the ground. Most men aren’t dogs. There are those who have happy relationships without drama. They exist, someone just found them first. But the men/boys/assholes I’m seeing lately are like a whole new breed of man. This is the man that does his dirt, in the open, and doesn’t care who he hurts in the process.


2,457 strangers know all your business and the only girl who doesn’t accept your status as a douchebag is your girlfriend/fiance/wife. These men must have the Dick Game of the New Millennium, because I am truly baffled. Tiger Woods, you fucking IDIOT. The reason your dad got away with it was because your mother was Thai, and it wasn’t in her nature to cause a ruckus {No Relation}. But you go and marry a Swedish girl, and hump every waitress you could on the PGA Circuit, and you thought that was okay?

I blame Kobe’s Wife for starting this shit. Your husband was on trial for RAPE and you stayed. Now you got men humping anything with fake boobs and white teeth, and thinking that offering their wife some form of monetary reward to Stand By Her Man will suffice. I hate you Kobe’s Wife. This is All your Fault.

No Words are really needed . . .

4) Stupid B*tch Girlfriends/Fiance’s/Wives

Let that Nigga GO! I don’t care how much he tells you he will never do it again, he’s going to. Unless he was raped, there was a point when he said to himself, Imma F*ck this girl, and I’m okay with it. She didn’t seduce him, she didn’t trap him, she got the dick down cuz he wanted to give it to her. Stop bitching to your girls about how you just don’t know how to keep your man, and let that nigga go! He don’t wanna be with you. And stop placing all the blame on the half nekkid heauxs at the club.

Have You No Self-Respect?!?! HAVE YOU NOT COUTH?!?!?

Why weren’t you there with him? Why would you let him go out to a club without taking care of him real quick? Why would you NOT question him the first time he lied? Why would you NOT kick his ass out the first time he came in at 4 in the morning, drunk and half dressed. Men do what we allow them to do. Stop blaming the other woman, and think about what you did/didn’t do to make him think you wouldn’t care what he did.

Love your self enough to know that someone else should love you. “Well, you know it’s hard for a big girl…” “Well you know it’s hard for us Dark Skinned Girls….” “Well you know it’s hard for men to date women who make more money than they do….” It’s not hard. Ya’ll don’t expect them to, so they don’t. If you have to change yourself to get him to pay attention to you, HE DIDN’T WANT YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

I bet you think this part is about you . . .

5) Internet Whores

In the era of FaceBook, MySpace, Twitter, Linked In, etc. The Rise of the Internet Whore can almost be scientifically charted. I miss the days of BlackPlanet and College Club, when all your business wasn’t out there, and you could pretend that you had self-respect. Now a days, all you need is a Skype, an email account, and a webcam, and you can whore yourself to the next man you meet.


Not only are you building a reputation, but the internet is NOT the best way to prove your sexual prowess. You just think you sent that pic to @igottadick4u, you actually just got added to a file that he shares with all his friends, fraternity brothers, and twitter followers. I PERSONALLY have a file of FB Peen on my home computer, what makes me think dudes don’t have a file too?

You proving how slutty you can be doesn’t make him like you more. It won’t make him want to date you. All you get out of it is some Textual Seduction or some Fiber Optic Copulation. At the end of the day, you still look like a whore to those around you. Love yourself. Because he dont/won’t. He only talks to you on a regular because it costs $12.99 to get porn On Demand.


6) Negro Youth & Twitter

I know I already blogged about it, but dammit they keep doing dumb shit. I’m not even going to try to explain half the songs I hear on the radio. I’m not even going to go into how the educational system sets them up to fail. Not even going to pontificate on how Racism has gone from Jim Crow to James Crowe, Esq. Nope, not even going to talk about that.

I can just discuss recent Twitter Trending Topics. Besides the fact that they are often spelled wrong {#younoyourfat}, could the mindset of the youth be more fucked up. Twitter was fun until the niggers discovered it. Now my timeline is flooded with shit like,{ @bowwow614 I wanna be a Kappa, imma pledge next week}. And 40000000000 stupid ignorant females ReTweeting his shit. Not to mention #twitterafterdark


Did you know that when you apply for a job the FIRST thing they do, before they even check your references, is google your name? They find your MySpace, FB, Twitter pages. Google indexes them. So unless you are smart enough to make all your pages private, there goes that job opportunity. You were wondering why they didn’t call you back, even though you were highly qualified. Could have been that FB Status you had up last night: {Lac3y ISukkGudDick 4MyManzNEm is watching Ghetto Chicks who suck Monster Dick #45. I’m learning alot!}

Get You Mind Right . . . . Just Dammit F*ck!

7) Chris Brown and Rihanna

Yes, this WHOLE THING Pissed me off. I don’t care if you think I’m wrong, it’s my f*cking opinion! Yes, Chris Brown beat her down. He beat her like she stole something. He was wrong, it’s never right to hit a woman, blah blah blah . . . BUT

It’s also never right to hit a man in his face. Or hit a person period. My uncles and Big Brothers all told me, if you hit a man in his face, you lose the right to say, But I’m a Girl. When you hit a man in his face, you are basically saying you are his equal, and he will beat you as such. That is the mindset of most men I know, right or wrong. I don’t care how mad at you I am, I will never hit you in your face { or hit you in the balls}. But really Walmart, REALLY?!?!?


Ya’ll can sell R. Kelly’s Albums, but you can’t put Chris Brown on the shelf?!?! R. Kelly PISSED ON AN UNDERAGED GIRL. IN HER MOUTH, ALL OVER HER. But Chris Brown is a horrible person?!? The issue had nothing to do with his talent as a singer. Yeah, the endorsements had to go, but to deliberately sabotage this young mans career. He made a mistake, his temper got the best of him. He apologized, her wore that damn BowTie, what more must he do!!! He was 19 at the time . . . R. Kelly was like 40.

Please Note:If you didn’t have such good deals on the groceries I needed, I would never shop in your stores. And if I bought music, I would never buy it from you. Know that I give your greeters the evil eye every time I walk in your store. And I never put my cart in the little cart thingie when I’m done. So there *insert head/neck/eye roll here*

This was a long one, so thanks for reading! Comments/Questions/Concerns are welcomed

Perfectly Lonely/Single

Almost a year ago to the day, I wrote a note called Scared of Lonely/Hello. The note was partially based on my obsession with Beyonce’s new album. But it also came from my frustration at being a single black woman staring down the barrel of the “Why aren’t you in a relationship like everybody else?” 12 Gauge Shot Gun.

It was born from every woman’s innate fear that they will end up old and alone, with 150+ cats and no teeth. We all, secretly, have that fear. At that time the chorus of Beyonce’s Song, Scared of Lonely, really helped me put my thoughts and fears into words.

I’m Scared of Lonely
I’m scared of being the only
Shadow I see along a wall . . .

And I’m scared the only heart beat
I hear a beating is my own
And I’m scared of been alone

I can’t seem to breathe when I am lost
In this dream, I need you to hold me
I’m Scared of Lonely . . .

So, a year has passed. How do I feel about being “alone” in a sea of happy loving relationships? At least four people very close to me are engaged. Every new person I have met since moving to Arizona is married or in a long term committed relationship. Three of my good friends who were scared of lonely right along with me, are now happy and content in the arms of a man who loves them. My personal feelings then,

“I am TERRIFIED of Lonely, cuz she’s a sneaky Hoe. Sitting in her ’86 Ford Escort, with the souped up engine that her Ex bought her . . .That Bitch is there, waiting, lurking, hoping for the chance when something will trigger her to come back. . .

This is Lonely’s Ride

For such a long time, being single seemed to be portrayed as the ultimate failure for a woman. Somehow you weren’t doing something right, you weren’t good enough, you were somehow at fault for being another single female in this world. I don’t know when I realized that Single doesn’t equal Lonely or Alone. But I am so glad that I did!

Oooooh, Now I Get It!
It was such an “Ah Ha!” moment for me. You mean, it’s OKAY for me to like myself?!? I don’t have to be completed by the presence of a male in my life?!? Son of a Bitch! After that epiphany, and the required conversation with my mother to confirm my suspicions that I had been lied to for YEARS by the media, I immediately started to embrace what Single means.

Single Means: When it’s time for overtime at the office, you get called first, because you don’t have kids or a significant other that are waiting for you

Single Means: I choose what I want to do with my time

Single Means: I choose what I do with my money

Single Means: I can hit as many houses as I want to for the Major Get-Free-Food Holidays

Single Means: If I choose to spend all my money on an impromtu trip to Detroit, the only person who suffers is me

Single Means: I can be as selfish as I want to be!

If my embrace of the word Single wasn’t enough, the Famous White Man Crush aka John Mayer, put my feelings into such beautiful words I actually had to open my Twitter Account {@ThatLadyJoy No PreauxMeaux} to tell him how much I appreciated his lyrical Genius on the song Perfectly Lonely!

Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little a kind of free

Nothing to do
No one but me
That’s is all I need

I’m perfectly lonely
I’m perfectly lonely
I’m perfectly lonely
Cause I don’t belong to anyone
And nobody belongs to me

I mean really! The man is a genius! But more than marveling, it made me think about the fact that I don’t answer to anyone but myself. I do what I want, when I want, how I want. And a great big F*ck You if you have a problem with it. I’m still entirely too selfish to be in a relationship right now, and that’s actually okay.

Are You Ready for This?
My Soror Amber Pratcher was recently pontificating on the misconceptions many young women have in regards to finding a man. She herself is married, and she posted some of the most truthful things about what marriage/committed relationships require.

“Being married requires you to dig deep within yourself to step up emotionally and physically through low times & appreciate some1 who AINT U”

I can honestly say I am not ready for that, not at all. So until then, I am Perfectly Happy being Single! Big Ups to Natasha Bedingfield for this Oldie but Goodie!

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There’s no way I’m tradin’ places
Right now a star’s in the ascendant

I’m single (Right now)
That’s how I wanna be
I’m single (Right now)
That’s how I wanna be !

An Open Letter to BET Networks

Dear BET:

You came on the scene in the Year of 1980. Two years before I was born, and yet I can remember when you provided the Black Community with a positive outlet for our creativity. From shows such as Video Soul with Donnie Simpson, and later BET News, and BET Tonight with Tavis Smiley, you were able to show the world that Intelligent, Dignified African Americans not only existed, but were able to strive towards greatness everyday.

So what happened? Did my generation miss the memo that said BET was about to become Coontastic Television. Did that bulletin come attached to the free chicken and watermelon you were passing out at 106 & Park after you got rid of Free & AJ? Was it a conscious decision to slowly ruin anyone born after 1995, or was that just an added bonus? Is there a reason that anyone over the age of 23 can’t watch your network without feeling that they have somehow become more ignorant?

I stopped watching BET when I went to College. I think that says alot about your station.

I started college in 1999. For ten years, I have been ashamed that your station existed. You started the destruction of our race slowly, I will give you that. I wouldn’t have noticed it until at least 2005 had it not been for my younger cousins. You started with getting rid of the news shows. Because really, what black person wants to know what is going on in the rest of the world. Replacing the news with BET Uncut was a HUGE step in the Ruin all Black Youth Direction. The next step, getting rid of the College Educated hosts of the one show people actually watched. Introducing us to HitZ from the Streets and to taking us into Cita’s World, I mean who doesn’t like a computer animated ignorant black woman?

Finally, Bob Johnson was able to hand over the reigns to that Black Wunderkind Debra Lee! We as a people just KNEW with a black woman running things, BET was about to get it together. Boy were we wrong! First, you decided it would be a good deal to stop showing videos all together! Except for BET Uncut, because that was making so many young prostitutes rich. (The Mockery that is 106 & Park isn’t even on my radar, thus it’s lack of acknowledgment as an actually TV Show.)

And of course, what the world needed was more “Reality” TV! Because seeing Poor Black People in real life, is SO much better than trying to educate them. Again, I must give you props for the way it was handled. You didn’t just push “College Hill” – the only show about College that doesn’t show people actually going to school – on us right away. You worked your way up to it!

Kudos to you for BET ComicView: The Coontastic Comedy show. Originally hosted by a Black Woman in the Kitchen and Renaldo Ray. I am sure getting him was a FIND! Then you kept the laughs coming with Spring Bling and Baldwin Hills and Finally, the PIECE DE RESISTANCE, the Frankie and Neffie Show. Because every Coontastic character should get their own show. It was bad enough that Keyshia Cole had to include them on her show while trying to show people how she rose above. Now we have to see them every week! Yes BET! Score one for the Team!

But, now BET. Let’s get down to the reason I am actually writing this letter. The 2009 Coon Awards ft. a “Tribute” to the Pop Icon Michael Joe Jackson. Where do I start? Can I first say, I will never watch your station again. I don’t care if Jesus has decided to come back and prove that he is really a negro, I won’t be watching. Honestly, he will probably just go on MTV and be done with it.

Debra Lee, you disgust me. You are the scum between my toes. To actually get on that stage, and ask people to clap for the great “efforts” your staff made is like saying a Jewish Lawyer isn’t Wealthy. Just POINTLESS. Besides the fact that Michael Jackson’s father was in the audience (with Your Favorite Heavily Activated Activist Al “Make It About Me” Sharpton), did you really think that no one would know how horrible of a job you had done?

The Sound Quality was atrocious, the Lighting was off, and half the performers were drunk and/or high. Have you no Couth? Have you no respect for the one black man other than Barack Obama that made black people mean something to the world? When is it EVER acceptable not to have at least a 30 second delay on a live taping? While I did chuckle when Eddie Levert made his slip up, I did not find it funny to see Lil’ Wayne tell me to “Put Up my hands for Michael Jackson in that Bitch.”

Every single performance should have been cancelled! Every single one. If you are going to dedicate a performance to someone, they event should embody that person’s spirit. Michael Jackson did NOT sing about Fucking Every Girl in the World. He did not Hop out of a Bed with his Swag on. He did not ever sing about Birthday Sex. SUBTLETY is what was required at this event. Respect and Dignity. This was an EPIC FAIL for your company, EPIC. I hope you lose all your advertising partners for that Travesty of a show. If you are going to do it, do it well. Or Just Don’t Do It At ALL!

Michael Jackson expected perfection in EVERYTHING he did. I was actually sad to see Janet Jackson come on the stage, because I knew she had seen what came before her. Young Money and their anthem of Ignorance. Have you heard a Michael Song? Did you watch the videos you have been showing for the last few days? Did you take ANY of that into account? Better yet, did you care?

Singing in my kitchen while washing Dishes two nights in a row was a better tribute than what you did. Going to Karaoke and singing Michael Jackson Songs badly is a better tribute. Blasting P.Y.T. out of my car on the freeway is a better tribute. My friends and I had planned a better tribute via Twitter, FaceBook, and MySpace. EPIC FAIL. I can’t say that enough.

BET you now epitomize everything that Dr. Martin Luther King died to prevent. You have SINGLE HANDEDLY destroyed an entire generation of black children. I hope you are proud of yourselves. I will leave you with a lyric from one of the numerous awesome songs by Michael Jackson:

Tell me what has become of my rights
Am I invisible because you ignore me?
Your proclamation promised me free liberty, now

I’m tired of bein’ the victim of shame
They’re throwing me in a class with a bad name
I can’t believe this is the land from which I came

You know I do really hate to say it
The government don’t wanna see
But if Martin Luther was livin’
He wouldn’t let this be . . .

All I Wanna Say is That
They Don’t Really Care about Us

M.J. Williams