Tag Archive | money

I’m Just Sayin’….

Just some shit I want to get off my chest. If it offends you, remember a hit dog hollers…

Issue #1: Weight Loss —-> Hateration (in this dancerie)

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If you know me at all you know how much of a struggle losing this weight has been. This shit ain’t easy at all. But you would swear that with every pound I drop, and inch I lose I’m personally telling people to go fcuk themselves. I’ve heard everything from ‘You think you’re cute now huh?’ to ‘Ever since you lost weight You are cocky…’

Are you fcuking serious? Have you met me?!?! I mean like the real me. Hell, have you read a blog I’ve written. I’ve always thought I was cute. Not sexy or gorgeous but hell yeah I’m cute. And I think I’m so awesome I tell strangers. Its never been what I thought of myself. Always what others assumed about me based on my size, race, sex, physical appearance etc.

Let me just tell you, in case you still don’t get it. Bitch I’m Amazing. Cellulite, Sweat, Blood, and tears. I’m so got damn amazing its hard to not tattoo that shit on my wrist. Fcuk You if you think differently.

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Issue #2: I like you but…

Again, I’ve been saying for years that most of the men that approach me don’t do it out of fat girl pity. I don’t even get approached by chubby chasers. Its everyday dudes that see something about me they like. Sadly, it frequently seems to be men who are already in relationships. In the past, this didn’t bother me… Simply because I believe if you don’t take care of what’s yours, he will find someone who does.

But after my brief experiment with Love, I’m noticing that they aren’t even unhappy men. They aren’t planning on leaving their home, they just want me too.  What in the hell?!?! Did I accidently put, ‘Used to be a Side Chick’ on my shirt. I don’t remember that, but I guess. At some point it goes from flattering to insulting. Like for real, its something that happens so frequently these days I’m starting to try to figure out what I’m doing to attract these people.

It could be Karma or as one friend suggests, a Godly test to see if I am indeed ready for a stable relationship. Either way, its getting on my got damn nerves. Because Operation Get MJW Wifed Up by 2014 is so real. Being single is not what’s hot in the streets right now. At all! A chick got bills all up in though here.

So for real, fcuk you if you already have someone and want me to take your sloppy seconds. If you aren’t ready to enter into a partnership with me that includes keys to vehicles and names on bank accounts you can get to stepping. I’m 30 years old and I don’t have time for all that bullshit.

Issue #3: Poverty vs. Laziness

I got into an argument with my father about a month ago. He tried to tell me that the reason I never have money is because I don’t know how to budget my money. My response, I don’t have money to budget.  Its not hyperbole to say I’m so underpaid I am almost physically ill when I get a paycheck. But at least I have a job.
I work 40 hours a week, and that’s not enough to pay all my bills. But the Hustle is strong within me, and my mother taught me to take care of myself. So I make due. I babysit on the weeknds and usually twice or more during the week. I make my own lunch most days and I cook dinner instead of eating out.  That leaves no money for extras but at 30 I don’t need that much.

But some people seem to think I’m lazy. How? You never see me cuz every time you call I’m busy. I have lost 6 sizes since March. I NEVER stop moving, and not by choice. So again, fcuk you if you’re mad at ME, cuz I hustle when I have to. I have a feeling someone will read this and assume I just cursed my father. I didn’t.

I have more to say. Maybe when I get another 36mins on this exercise bike.

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Mr. Bill Collector

Okay, I have already discussed my financial struggle. So there is no need to rehash it…but you can click here to read that blog.  This one is instead about Bill Collectors, and why I don’t like them. They are so damn annoying for no reason. Let me give you some examples.

Example #1: Chase Auto Finance

I called to let them know I was going to be making a payment tomorrow when I get paid. I said to the lady, “I wont know what my check is going to look like until tomorrow, but I will be paying at least $125.”

Chase Auto Finance Heaux: Ma’am, your payment is more than that. You need to pay the whole amount.

ME: I understand that ma’am, but if I was able to pay the whole amount I would do that

CAFH: Well then you need to know that your account is not secure.

Me: Ma’am I understand that, I was just calling to inform you of an upcoming payment

CAFH: We wont accept it.

Me: You are going to charge me a late fee for my past due amount but not take a partial payment?

CAFH: Why don’t you just ask a family member to borrow the money.

I Hung Up.

Bitch, don’t you think if I had a family member who was willing to help me during my time of financial distress I wouldn’t be 30+ days late on my got damn mother fucking payment?!?!? Why do they always say that. Like I haven’t exhausted all possibilities before having to make partial payments. Like I sit my fat ass at home all day turning away offers for help. I mean really.

In talking to Dom, who works in customer service, they are required to ask those questions.  What in the ass fuck for? Becuz we aren’t ashamed enough of our plight?!?! Like, we wanna share our shame with the whole family?!?!? Why don’t I just send out a mass email?

 

Example #2: Sallie Mae

Student Loans are going to follow me my entire life.  But not even the money I owe the gov’t but this got damn Perkins Loan. I owe less than $2000 on this bitch ass loan, but I can’t pay it becuz I don’t make enough money. And I don’t make enough money because I’m not a certified teacher. And I can’t get my certification becuz I need my OFFICIAL Transcript. And I can’t get an official transcript becuz of that got damn mother fucking Perkins Loan.

That Bitch Seresa Tanchez: Ms . . . you need to make the payment in full before I will release the transcript

Me: I can’t make a payment. I don’t make enough money.

TBST: Do you know that this is going to effect your credit? The not paying bills on time?

I Hung Up.

Bitch.  Really?!?! You are giving me credit advance? Like I’ve never thought about my credit rating? Like this is the first time the whole credit thing has ever popped up in conversation.

You stupid fucking CUNT, you know what you can do? You can press a got damn button and send me my got damn transcripts so that I can actually make the money to pay you back. And you wonder why Black People hate you, cuz you are a stupid bitch…..but I’m not mad tho.

Example #3: Random Ass Advice

Lady From GMAC: Ma’am, have you gotten your tax refund yet? You can always use that money.

BITCH! Get out my business.  Even IF I got tax money, you aren’t high on my list of people to give that money to.  I swear they are getting a tad bit too personal.

Man from Verizon: Well you know, maybe if you didn’t have so many smartphones on your family plan your data package wouldn’t be so high.

SIR! You think so? Like really, you think that’s the first time I have thought about that? You think maybe if you didn’t charge $30 got damn dollars JUST because I have a Blackberry that I never use on my account I might not have a bill that high. You Fucking THINK?!?!?

I’m really not that angry of a person. But the way people in customer service speak to people who owe money is just ridiculous. You don’t have to be rude and condescending to work in Customer Service, that wasn’t on the job description. You aren’t getting the money, so why do you feel the need to belittle me due to my situation. You would think that the state of the economy would cause people to be a tad bit more compassionate but it seems to be the opposite.

I just had to get that out. I think I’m done now.  My next solution is going to be to sell my body to the Older Arab Gentleman…times are Hard as Hell right now!

Open Book: Delusions of Gradeur

So, this isn’t going to flow, i don’t think. It’s really just kind of what is going on in my head. First, lets talk about my recent trip to the welfare office.

Yes, I, JoyfulWordsofWisdom, made a trip to the welfare office. Why? Because I’m struggling right now. Not like, I can’t go to the movies when I want to, but in danger of eviction type struggle. Admitting that to the whole world, is supposed to be freeing right? Like, once I type it, the burden of debt is supposed to magically fly away and be gone, right?!?!

Whatever, so I decided that I pay my taxes. I give to the government, so SURE they would want to help me in my actual time of need.

Let me also say, this isn’t the first time me and the Welfare Office have kicked it. When I was unemployed in like 2006 or something, we had a very pleasant relationship. Me and the Welfare office were close like JBarbie and Self-Esteem. So I stand in line outside for 45 minutes waiting for them to open the doors at 8:00am . . . Then wait for another hour waiting for them to call my name.

“Lady, I don’t need alot, but I need something.” Really nice white lady says to me, “Let’s see what we can help you with, because I understand your issues.” After she inputs my money situation in the computer . . .

Medical Assistance: Denied
Cash Assistance: Denied
Food Stamps: Denied (applicant makes $29 over limit)

There was nothing I could do do thank the lady for taking the time to try to help me, and walk out. Then sit in my car and cry. Cuz I have 2 jobs. I teach children all day, then teach other teachers how to teach. And, averaging them both out, I make about $12 an hour. Yup, ny niece who is a manager at McDonald’s makes $13 and she has medical benefits.

This isn’t to say that I haven’t always had some kind of struggle to overcome . . . hell, I’m black, fat, and female. . . struggle is synonymous with all three of those words. But as I was sitting in my car, I thought to myself, Why do I, as a teacher, not count as a person who needs assistance.

Utter shame at my situation has always stopped me from writing about this before. Because I am ashamed of the fact that at 29 I live paycheck to paycheck. I’m ashamed of the fact that I have a 4 year college degree, and I’m not sure if all my bills are going to be paid on time or at all. I’m ashamed cuz I see people that I consider my friends living the life that I pictured for myself and I can’t ever see that happening to me.

I don’t know everyones story, and most people don’t know mine. Because I allow most people to see my Delusions of Grandeur. I let or maybe even help them think, that everything is just fine. That I can still afford the lifestyle that I live. That money doesn’t rule all my day to day decisions. But in reality, money is the one thing that makes me the most miserable.

And yes, I have made some dumb ass life choices that have brought me to this point, but its not all my fault. The fact that other peoples decisions have gotten me here is even more frustrating. Knowing that all I need is a $3 transcript to more than double my salary pisses me off. Knowing that the one woman who can send it to me won’t because she didn’t like my tone of voice, pisses me the fuck off.

My new life goal has become to never have to depend on anyone for anything. This of course wont happen because I’m not a millionaire yet, but man o man once I get there…..

Until then, I just take it day by day…..basking in my Delusions of Grandeur. That everything is going to be okay, that I have everything under control, that each day isn’t bringing yet another struggle, and that I’m not still incredibly pissed off that the ONE person who should help me won’t.

Yup, the Land of Denial is so pretty…….