Tag Archive | Sallie Mae

Mr. Bill Collector

Okay, I have already discussed my financial struggle. So there is no need to rehash it…but you can click here to read that blog.  This one is instead about Bill Collectors, and why I don’t like them. They are so damn annoying for no reason. Let me give you some examples.

Example #1: Chase Auto Finance

I called to let them know I was going to be making a payment tomorrow when I get paid. I said to the lady, “I wont know what my check is going to look like until tomorrow, but I will be paying at least $125.”

Chase Auto Finance Heaux: Ma’am, your payment is more than that. You need to pay the whole amount.

ME: I understand that ma’am, but if I was able to pay the whole amount I would do that

CAFH: Well then you need to know that your account is not secure.

Me: Ma’am I understand that, I was just calling to inform you of an upcoming payment

CAFH: We wont accept it.

Me: You are going to charge me a late fee for my past due amount but not take a partial payment?

CAFH: Why don’t you just ask a family member to borrow the money.

I Hung Up.

Bitch, don’t you think if I had a family member who was willing to help me during my time of financial distress I wouldn’t be 30+ days late on my got damn mother fucking payment?!?!? Why do they always say that. Like I haven’t exhausted all possibilities before having to make partial payments. Like I sit my fat ass at home all day turning away offers for help. I mean really.

In talking to Dom, who works in customer service, they are required to ask those questions.  What in the ass fuck for? Becuz we aren’t ashamed enough of our plight?!?! Like, we wanna share our shame with the whole family?!?!? Why don’t I just send out a mass email?


Example #2: Sallie Mae

Student Loans are going to follow me my entire life.  But not even the money I owe the gov’t but this got damn Perkins Loan. I owe less than $2000 on this bitch ass loan, but I can’t pay it becuz I don’t make enough money. And I don’t make enough money because I’m not a certified teacher. And I can’t get my certification becuz I need my OFFICIAL Transcript. And I can’t get an official transcript becuz of that got damn mother fucking Perkins Loan.

That Bitch Seresa Tanchez: Ms . . . you need to make the payment in full before I will release the transcript

Me: I can’t make a payment. I don’t make enough money.

TBST: Do you know that this is going to effect your credit? The not paying bills on time?

I Hung Up.

Bitch.  Really?!?! You are giving me credit advance? Like I’ve never thought about my credit rating? Like this is the first time the whole credit thing has ever popped up in conversation.

You stupid fucking CUNT, you know what you can do? You can press a got damn button and send me my got damn transcripts so that I can actually make the money to pay you back. And you wonder why Black People hate you, cuz you are a stupid bitch…..but I’m not mad tho.

Example #3: Random Ass Advice

Lady From GMAC: Ma’am, have you gotten your tax refund yet? You can always use that money.

BITCH! Get out my business.  Even IF I got tax money, you aren’t high on my list of people to give that money to.  I swear they are getting a tad bit too personal.

Man from Verizon: Well you know, maybe if you didn’t have so many smartphones on your family plan your data package wouldn’t be so high.

SIR! You think so? Like really, you think that’s the first time I have thought about that? You think maybe if you didn’t charge $30 got damn dollars JUST because I have a Blackberry that I never use on my account I might not have a bill that high. You Fucking THINK?!?!?

I’m really not that angry of a person. But the way people in customer service speak to people who owe money is just ridiculous. You don’t have to be rude and condescending to work in Customer Service, that wasn’t on the job description. You aren’t getting the money, so why do you feel the need to belittle me due to my situation. You would think that the state of the economy would cause people to be a tad bit more compassionate but it seems to be the opposite.

I just had to get that out. I think I’m done now.  My next solution is going to be to sell my body to the Older Arab Gentleman…times are Hard as Hell right now!