Tag Archive | T.I.

Have You No Couth?!?!? – Things that Pissed Me the F*ck Off in 2010

Last Year 2 years ago, I wrote a blog about all the things that had happened in 2009 that pissed me off.  For a recap click here —> http://bit.ly/fxfOnU <—– I will do the same now.  Except, there is alot more stuff that pissed me off, and I am going to try my hardest to offend at LEAST 5 people.  If I offend you, please let me know.  I like to know when I have reached my goals.  So without further ado, Here is My List of Things that Pissed Me the Fuck Off in 2010 .  .  .

Famous Ass Homewreaking Whores

We all know, as a confessed former Side Chick, I can’t really talk about folks that cheat, except, I’m finna.  Alicia Keys, Gabrielle Union, Fantasia Barrino, That Bish John Edward’s got pregnant, that tattooed Nazi Bish that was Humping on Jesse James, all of Tiger Wood’s Heauxs . . . CLEARLY this list is never ending.  2010 was the year of the Side Chick Come Up.  Folks getting TV Shows, and book deals, all because they had the wherewithall to suck a dcik. Never in my 28 years would I have thought that I would see the day when being a lying, cheating, whore would be something that made other people famous.

Alicia Keys got a beaknosed baby and a Gonzo-Looking husband out of the deal.  Gabby Union gets to go to basketball games for free. The Tattooed Nazi Bish got all kinda of magazine ad’s and free publicity for her website, Tiger’s Woods main heaux is currently on Celebrity Rehab for Love Addition. {Pause: What the FUCK is Love Addiction? How is that even a disease that needs to be cured? I love you Dr. Drew, but really?} Sadly, all Fantasia got was an ugly ass Nupe, 4 Grammy nominations, and her show getting cancelled.  At least she got proven in court to not “really” be a homewreaker. Didn’t really see that blasted all over the news though, did you? Speaking of which . . .

The Racist Ass Media

I already have issues with the media because I’m not a part of it.  But 2010 was SURELY the year of biased ass news coverage regarding the plight of the famous.  The first clue for me that the media was horribly racist was the converage of the Tiger Woods Debacle.  Yes, it started in 2009, but it just kept getting bigger and bigger.  He wasn’t the first sports figure to be a whore while he was married, but he was the first Black Man who got caught by his white wife cuz he was humping white girls all over the country.

The vilification of Michael Vick, even after he served his time in prison, is another example. Tucker “Closested Bigot” Carlson said he should be executed for his crimes? For making dogs fight each other.  MuthaFucka for real? For killing Dogs? He got more time in jail for killing dogs than Ben Roethlesberger got interviewed for being accused of rape.

Fox News and their coverage of President Obama is another GLARING example of how racism is becoming the back bone of all kinds of media coverage. The fact that he is almost never referred to as President Obama, but instead of as Barack or just Obama is so damn disrespectful! It’s not just Fox News that does it, other media outlets do as well.  

They always talk about the things he hasn’t gotten done, but never discuss what he HAS gotten accomplished.  If you would like to know what he’s done so far click here —> http://bit.ly/eN4058 <—— I could rant for daaaaaaaays about this, but then I wouldn’t have to talk about how the Media and the Law refuses to leave Kwame the FCUK alone . . . .

LEAVE KWAME THE FCUK ALONE

The man had a party that was his ultimate downfall.  Every TRUE Detroiter knows someone who was actually at the party. Half the gotdamn city was there.  Yes, Carlita punched some heaux in the face for giving her man a lapdance.  Yes, Kwame did some shady stuff while he was in office.  Yes, his father is a douchebag. Yes, he should pay back the city for the money they spent to cover up his lie.  But must we really spend our entire life, Kym “Pissed cuz Kwame didn’t want me” Worthy, to bring the man down.  He really can’t get no lower.  What’s the point now? I mean really, he doesn’t have any more money to give, he will never be able to run for office anywhere? Are we trying to take the man’s dignity and will to live at this point? Note: If he really did get that girl killed, he deserves to sit in prison for the rest of his life. But I’m so damn tired of hearing about how horrible a person Kwame is!

Famous Black Men continuing to Fcuk Up

Seriously, I mean SERIOUSLY. Between T.I and Chris Brown, light skinned men don’t got no role models right now.  You spent an entire year redeeming yourself from some admittedly fcuked up mistakes on your part, only to stick your foot in your mouth less than a  year later.

T.I: SIR. Really, dental work turned you into a drug addict? Why did you get your teeth fixed in the first damn place? Your fans don’t give a hell you had chicklet teeth.  We thought it was cute. But your teeth were hurting so you had 50 Ecstasy pills and weed in your Maybach. Because that makes sense . . . It does. When you get out of jail this time, just sit your Beige ass down somewhere.

Chris Brown: You know I love you.  I STAN for you. I have written several blogs regarding my love for you, but if you don’t get your light skinned dancing ass off Twitter, you are never going to be able to make a record people pay for again.  Yes, I know that RazBerry was baiting you and he was being a douche, but you NEVER NEVER NEVER get back at an asshole by talking about their claims of rape or molestation.  

You beat up RiRi Five Head, we saw the pictures.  He was trying to get people to pay attention to him, becuase the 4 youtube plays didn’t work. You played right into his hands.  Now the Racist Ass Media has you looking like a Homophobe. I will admit though, calling him a Peter Pan Dcik in the Booty Azz Boy was HIGHLARIOUS. Get rid of your twitter Hunny, I love you too much to see you fail.

Kanye: Shut the Fcuk Up. Don’t talk, ever on TV. Ever. Just make beats and albums, and SHUT THE FCUK UP.

Republicans

Not all Republicans are evil, but the majority of them are dumb as hell.  Their view of the world is so skewed it’s like when they talk they see a different place.  The growing popularity of the Tea Party Movement and their racist propaganda {that is largely ignored by the mainsteam media} scares the shit outta me. The fact that Sarah “I can see Russia from my House” Palin has a fighting chance at being a candidate for President in 2012 just makes me want to scream.

Sadly, the thing that I find the most frustrating is also something I think Black Folks and Democrats could learn from.  Their singular focus on meeting whatever goal it is they have has turned a Moment of Change into a Whimper of Hope. They have made this country miserable for 10 years, and it ain’t lookin’ too good for getting better anytime soon.

John Edwards

Dear John Edwards, Fcuk You. You seem to be the epitome of having no couth in 2010. Not only did you cheat on your wife while she was dying of Cancer, but before she died or you had gotten a divorce, you were planning your new life with the bish you knocked up? I mean really, picking out wedding venues? Were you planing on paying for the event with the life insurance from the policy you had on Elizabeth? The only thing that makes me smile is know that you will NEVER be able to run for a public office, because women across the country hate your stinking GUTS. With Utter Disdain, Me.

SubPar Singers

Yes, I’m talking to you Ciara, Keyshia, Rihanna, and Keri. I feel like, maybe if you guys formed a super group of half nekkid dancing bishes you might get more album sales.  You can let Soulja Boi rap on half the songs, and help his stupid ass out too.

Keyshia: I know your life was hard, but you have GOT to stop singing like your screech is gonna take you to the promise land.  You need to get back to the Keyshia Cole that TuPac told people was going to be a famous singer at 9. Stop trying to be like everyone else, and be yourself. Also, stop with the Tattoos, it’s not now nor will it ever be cute.

Ciara: We know you can dance, we get it. We also know you have a STRONG ass jaw.  This doesn’t help the fact that you couldn’t sing on key if your life depended on it.  I just really need you to get a vocal couch and just BREATHE. Also, please do me a favor and tell Kim K to stick to helping black men win championships with her vajayjay. No one wants to hear her sing . . . NO ONE.

Keri: Go back to writing songs.

Rihanna: I JUST figured out that you were from an island.  You should go back there, and like un-learn the RiRi Five Head Yodel.  This is not to say that you don’t have some catchy ass songs.  I have about 10 of your songs on my phone right now {Oh Na Na . . .hWhat’s My Name}. But you need to do better. Also, just because your BFF is Katy Perry, it doesn’t mean you can have Red Hair. It’s not okay.

Stupid People on Twitter

Lastly, let’s discuss the stupid people on twitter.  It’s not just random people I don’t know, it’s also famous people who say the most ignorant shit.  I have lost respect for so many people just based on the things they tweet.  #SelvesofSteam {Self esteem} #DefenseMagnesium {Defense Mechanism} #LactoseandTolerants {Lactose Intolerant}. That is just the tip of the Iceburg.  This year has truly shown me how important my education is to me, and how far we have to go as a people regarding common damn sense.  For a full overview of the 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010 click here —-> http://bit.ly/fQuVPj <—–

There is more from 2010 that I could comment on, and I may come back and add to this.  But right now, it’s also 7 in the AM, and this is all I care to discuss.  Feel free to share things that bothered you this year too!

Happy New Year Guys!

*woot woot* Big Eddie LongStroke *woot woot*

Shoutout to @ambboogie for the title

I tried  so hard not to say anything.  I really did.  Sometimes I tend to rant about things, and I know that it’s really just me and my issues.  But, the divisiveness that is this Eddie Long{Stroke} Scandal has created is BEGGING to be blogged about. Folks have unfriended people on FB, and stopped talking to family members.  HAVE YOU PEOPLE LOST YOUR FUCKING MINDS?!?!?

I have already acknowledged to myself that most black people who consider themselves deeply religious aren’t. I have already acknowledged that I will never feel right in a church that stands and claps for three minutes every time their Pastor walks into a room.  I have already acknowledged that at some point most black people who belong to mega churches stopped having a relationship with God and started trying to praise their Pastor instead.

But you mean to tell me that only Catholic Priests have inappropriate relationships with boys?!?  That only republican senators can vehemently oppose homosexuality, and be practicing it at the same time.  You fucking SHEEP!!!! They SAID God called them! Did GOD send you a letter in the mail telling you, “Edward Long speaks to and for me,” no??? Then how do you know that this man isn’t just really charismatic, and realized that the world’s greatest hustle is being the Pastor of a Mega Church.  Because it is.

Note The Smirk

Any man arrogant enough to ordain himself a BISHOP, of a Non-Demoninational Church is, JUST, an asshole.

Yes, I believe there are men and women that GOD has called to help others.  However,  in my opinion, they are few and far between.  I’m actually willing to bet that the majority of the people who GOD called to lead/serve aren’t even preachers, let alone members of a church. Every Man of Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahd isn’t a Godly Man.  {I learned this the hard way, seeing my dead beat father PROSPER in the church. *Le Sigh*}

This blind faith in a MAN is, again in my opinion, why things like this Eddie Long scandal have even happened. What mother in her right mind is going to allow a grown ass man to move her 17-year-old son into a house by himself, and not question his motives? More than likely, these mothers were so excited that “Bishop” had taken an interest in their child that they didn’t even think about why he was interested.

Cuz, this is what YOUR pastor sent to minors . . .

Coming from the city of Detroit, I can honestly say I know a lil’ something about the Mega Church Mentality. When I got back from college, I joined one of my city’s Mini-Mega Churches.  My Member number is 3120, and I joined in 2003 . . . Last thing I knew, the member numbers had hit about 9045.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Love LOVE my church. I love the music, the atmosphere, and the overall mission statement. I also love my Pastor, as a human being.

HOWEVER, working for the same Church you attend is an eye-opening experience. Everything looks pretty on Sunday morning, its Wednesday night that really shows you what the church was about.  Some things that showed me that EVERY church has it’s flaws and hustles.

  • I was once told I didn’t tithe enough, and that if I needed help with it they could just take it out of my check for me.
  • The letter that we got at the end of every year, suggesting that we as members start the new year off right by giving a sacrificial offering at the Watch Night Service (That’s New Years Eve Service for my non-black readers). The requested amount $800
  • When my Pastor returned to the Church, after surviving Prostate Cancer, the Men’s ministry bought him a Bentley. A Fully Loaded, Black on Black, Bentley. But they don’t have a scholarship fund 0_o
  • One day, a lady came running into the office, requesting to speak with the Pastor.  She said her husband was dying, and she just needed someone to pray with her, because she was losing faith. She was told that she needed to make an appointment, and someone would call her.

You gotta admit, he does have a nice body tho . . . too soon?

If anyone ever read the bible, they could use it to justify anything. The same book that says homosexuality is a sin says that eating shellfish, wearing poly-cotton blends, and growing corn and soy together in the same field will send you to hell. It’s a book people, not God’s personal doctrine. People wrote the Books of the Bible, NOT JESUS.  He wasn’t even alive to write it. And the book that you call manna from heaven was put together by a council of men, who picked and chose what they felt it should say.

Black People, yes, I’m talking to you right now.  Stop following men like Eddie Long, and T.D. Jakes, and Creflo {His Mama didn’t love him at all} Dollar. The only place they are going to lead you is into debt and shaky faith. The very people who most need the money they have, spend it on books/cds/tapes these men sell at FULL RETAIL PRICE, telling them things they already know about their life.  Do they offer solutions to their problems?? Maybe? But frequently, the answer is, Tithe more. God will Notice, and bless you. Unless they have God’s fax Number and/or he audit’s their monthly deposits, GOD really has no way of knowing what you gave.  But “Bishop” does.  So does his accountant, his financial advisor, and his stock broker.

They Spinnin' Nigga they Spinnin'

You don’t need a man to lead you to God. He’s everywhere if you look around you. To paraphrase the Bible, “ALL MEN FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF THE LORD”, or something like that. You will falter, its in your nature as a human. Because that is what Eddie Long is, a human. Who has some things he needs to admit to himself and the thousands of people who follow him. If you are going to pass judgement on him, make sure you acknowledge your flaws as well…..

This right Here . . . Explains EVERYTHING (T.I. being prayed over at New Birth Ministries)

I’m just saying

My Thoughts on the 2010 VMA’s

Okay, once again, I am about to piss all kinds of people off.  I anxiously await the random comments.  As long as no one calls me a nigger, I will even approve them.  Sooooooooo, lets talk about last night’s VMAs, and why they were Such a Train Wreck.  It was so horrible that I couldn’t turn away.

When twitter makes your show better, because people spend their time commenting on it instead of paying attention, you know you have done something wrong.  Do Better MTV, do the Fuck Better. When the 2010 BET Awards are better than the 2010 VMAs, you know the world is coming to an end.  You mean Debra Leeeeeeeeevil put together a better show than the head of MTV.

Fact: Rihanna is a Tasteless, Tacky, Tactless Bitch.

I don’t care if you like her, she’s a bitch.  All that shade she was throwing during Drake’s Performance (which is awesome by the way).  Really Heaux?!?!? You Fancy huh? You dyed your hair with Wylers Flavored Drink, and wore your favorite throwback Rainbow Brite dress, and you got the Nerve, the UNMITIGATED GALL, to throw Shade.  If it wasn’t for Drake, you would have been lost in the wilderness of “Chris Brown beat My Ass for Poppin’ Off at the Mouth” Land. I hate That Heaux.

Fact: TI is a Fuck-Up

I tried to support him.  I had so much hope for him.  The Whites had embraced him and everything, and then he gets caught with drugs in his car! You stupid hood FUCK. They had to change the entire song because you weren’t able to leave ATL. They gone put your ass in jail. For 27 years, because of some Extasy Pills. Fucking Leotard. But, I’m not gone lie, it would be a very smart move if Tiny took that charge for you . . .

Fact: Usher is too Damn Old to be Dancing

Usher, you got 2 kids.  You know you got hip issues.  Nigga, just sing. It’s okay, we still love your voice.  It still takes most women to a happy place.  But seeing you try to become the Club Queen, not the Business.  Not at all.  Every time i hear a song by you lately, I think to myself, “Dammit, where is my Glow Stick? I must have left it at that Rave last weekend!” You are a 30+ black man, start singing about love everlasting and fucking . . . Everyone would respect you more.  Leave the dancing to Justin “Ellen’s Gay Counterpart” Beiber. Train up a child in the way he should go . . .

Fact: MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN FUCK TAYLOR SWIFT

Yeah, I said that shit . . . . so did Kanye last night. Really bitch?!?!  You wrote a WHOLE FUCKING SONG about Kanye West being immature last year, like 3 months after his mother died, and you decided to sing it now.  NOW BITCH?!?!  Ohhh I hate you AND your PR team.  You thought it was going to help everyone remember how Kanye helped you sell 3 more million copies of your last album?

Or how, the majority of people you didn’t listen to country music didn’t know who the fuck you were before he Kanye’d you last year.  You should have wrote a song called, “Thank You Kanye West, you made me relevant.” You thought you would look extra young and innocent if you went barefoot huh, and strummed a guitar? No Bitch, you looked like you were trying too hard.  You and you pale ass monkey feet need to go somewhere.  We are ALLLLL over you!

Fact: Kanye West is a Musical Genius

Kanye West – Runaway (feat. Pusha T) {Click for the MP3 Version of the VMA Performance}

Call me a Pegro if you want to, I’m right.  Any artist who can create what is the ANTHEM for most of the people I know is Musical Royalty in my book.  That song last night was awesome.  the staging of the performance as beautiful.  The red was doing a bit much, but still, that was Awesome.  Those of you who are so “Enlightened” that you can’t like Kanye anymore are posers. Acknowledge his talent, even if you don’t like his personality or his actions.  But either way:

And I always find something wrong,
You been putting up with my shit for way too long
I’m so gifted at finding what I don’t like the most
so I think it’s time for us to have a toast

Lets have a Toast for the Douchebags
Let’s have a Toast for the Assholes
Let’s have a Toast for the Scumbags
Everyone of them that I know

Lets have a toast for the Jerk Offs
That’ll never take work off
Baby I got a plan, Runaway fast as you can

Cuz what he said to Taylor Swift was . . . . . Bitch Boo Bye!

*Shoutout to RockaBye Review for the Lyrics and the MP3*