Tag Archive | Talib Kweli

Free Write 4/14/14: Spotify Starred List

I haven’t done this is in a while.  I’ve been feeling some kind of way {No Rich HOmie Quan} for the last couple of days, and my emotions have been all over the place.  It wasn’t until I listened to The Globe Sessions by Sheryl Crow that I realized I had a myriad of things on my mind.  I’m going to let Spotify guide me today . . . and lets see what happens.

Arianna Grande – Almost is Never Enough

She is not a Mariah Clone . . . I think she actually has the option of being better.  Lots of it will depend on her song choices.  But her voice is amazing.  bout the Song: Almost is NEVER Enough.  I’ve held on to almost multiple times, and it never ended up the way i felt it should have.  This song evokes the pain that can come from letting go/giving up.  It’s the conversation you have when you are walking away.

Try to deny it as much as you want, but in time our feelings will show . . .

When you are trying to make it work, and begging the other person to try with you, and it just seems like they won’t. You are on the outside looking in at something falling apart.  A very deep song sung by someone who probably hasn’t experienced this yet. Shouts to Nathan Sykes from The Wanted.

Bad Meets Evil – I’m on Everything ft. Mike Epps

Eminem and Royce da 5’9 are everything.  Them rapping together is also everything.  They play off each other so well lyrically.  I remember when I heard they had fallen out, I was actually sad for Detroit Hip-Hop. When I heard about this album, via Twitter of course, I was SO EXCITED. The clip from the Mike Epps special is hilarious, and the beat is just . .. you guessed it everything.  It’s actually my favorite song on this album.  The fact that it’s about the kinds of Drugs they were both doing during their careers . . .and they are now both sober makes it even better.  They aren’t glorifying drug use at all . . . but it’s a catchy ass song.  It wasn’t until I listened to the lyrics . . . Durgs are bad guys.  BAD.  This album is a my favorite “I have lots of shit to get done and I need to be motivated” album. Also, Royce and I had a conversation on Twitter one night.  Clearly he loves me.

John Legend – Made to Love

The drums on this song ALONE . . . . I love this album because it tells a story.  As with Get Lifted, when it’s over I feel like I watched a movie about a relationship.  I saw all the ups and downs, and at the end they lived happily ever after.  One reason John Legend has remained a favorite of mine, his messages/songs/lyrics are real.  He doesn’t paint pretty pictures.  He talks about what it’s really like to be in a relationship.  The cheating, the love, the fights, the wanting to make it work, the end of it all.  Especially in this song, you can just picture him talking to this woman, like “This is it Girl. We are here for each other.  Let’s bask in this shit, and make it work.” Definitely a favorite on Love In the Future.

Diddy-Dirty Money – Your Love

#Fact Diddy-Dirty Money was an awesome Group . . . yet another one that Sean Combs ruined.  This album goes so damn hard! When he ended Danity Kane, I was worried that I was never going to hear Dawn’s voice again.  When he introduced this group, I was a tad bit concerned.  Even after I watched the Making of the Album on MTV . . . still had reservations.  But this song right here .  . .

Just vulgar and catchy at the same time.  Trey Songz was whinin’ his lil heart out . . .and making it sound good.  Kaleena (is that her name?) and Dawn really compliment each other, to the point that I can’t really tell their voices apart. I didn’t know whose P***y was walking on who’s tongue.  even the video was sexy.  Damn You Diddy. You Ruin EVERYTHING!

Sam Smith – Nirvana

So the blog I wrote before this one is all about my love for Mr. Smith. But there is always more that can be said about him!

I’m done with running so I give in to you
This moment has caused a reaction
Resulting in our reattachment
Oh you take me to nirvana
I don’t think this will last
But you’re here in my arms

This song is all about that moment you wake up in the morning and regret.  Maybe you smoked too much, maybe you drank too much.  But you fell right back into the bad haidt you were trying to avoid.  But once you fell, you decided to just let that feeling last for whatever time you have with each other.  “I know it’s wrong . . . but it feels so damn good.” This song is the truth.

Young Money, Drake – Trophies

Love the “Horns” at the beginning of this song.  It’s a great way to start the song.  We all know I love me some Drake.  Even moreso after the SNL appearance.  I love that he doesn’t really take himself seriously.  Technically this is supposed to be a Young Money song . .. but it’s Drake. This is just a remember to those who think he’s walked away from Young Money, and isn’t down for them (I think.) Honestly, I just like the beat.

What’s the move? Can I tell truth?
If I was doing this for you
Then I have nothing left to prove, nah
This for me, though
I’m just tryna stay alive and take care of my people
And they don’t have no award for that

Idle Warship – Beautifully Bad

Found this song on a Spotify Radio Station, I think the Talib Kweli station.  This entire album is the truth.  I love collaboration albums, especially when it’s something I came across on accident.  The entire album evokes an emotion for me.  Res and Talib are the perfect blend of soul and hip-hop.  This song is one of those, if only I had heard this while I was IN the relationship.  I might have known how to express myself to him/her.

And I closed my heart for you, Couldn’t love if I wanted to
When you gave up on us . . . I became bitter
And never wanted to believe, That you’re killing all my energy
You’re beautifully bad to me

Yup. All of that.  ALL OF IT!

Justin Beiber – Heartbreaker

Yes.  I still listen to Justin Bieber.  I think he’s become an asshole, but his music is still great.  I understand why this album was a mixtape.  His core demographic probably heard this album and was like, “Who Bitch What?!?!” It’s all R & B, and actually soulful.  I mean as soulful as Justin Bieber could be. The entire album is great actually, except for that song with R. Kelly . . . because R. Kelly is singing to the WRONG age group. This is Justin’s sexy album.  And I’m here for you Justin, I am.

Trillville – Some Cut ft Cutty

First of all, the explicit version of this song . . . SO MUCH. This song is attached to The One that Got Away. This was our favorite song to dance to at college parties.  Like, the INSTANT the bed squeaks started, we found each other.  Don’t judge my life, because you don’t know my life!

Anyway, my favorite parts of the song are the funniest. What guy tells a girl, “I’ll follow that ass in the mall…” Really, is that what we do? Also, how did the start of the song get explained in the studio. “Aight dude, listen.  Just record the mattress squeaking.  Not voices, yes for 16 measures. Trust me, it’s going to work. But don’t drop the beat until 8 measures in.  TRUST ME DAWG, It’s gonna work.” Also, they talk A LOT about their balls in this song.  Like at least twice in every single verse.  And in the chorus . . .*le sigh*

The fact that I actually answer my phone with the 1st line in the chorus when my close friends call me tho . . . Also: I listen to this song at LEAST twice a week.  I feel like that MIGHT say something about me as a person. I don’t CARE what it says, but I think it says something.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

See, I thought this was going to be an expulsion of emotions.  Instead it was a fun little trip down memory lane (at least for me).  It feels good to write about music, and not be working on my book, or submitting resumes, or goal planning, or updating business plans.  I clearly needed to heed Dominique’s advice and just start living in the moment.

Anyway . . . thanks for reading and listening. I hope you enjoyed this very random musical journey as much as I enjoyed writing about it.

Advertisements

Black Girl Pain – My Lifelong Struggle with Depression

*The underlined words are companion pieces to this blog. They are Blogs I’ve written in the past dealing with Depression. Please check those out as well*

The first thing that must be said, Depression is real.  It’s an actual disease, that is affecting more and more young people.  The first time Depression entered my life, was just after my first break-up. I had lived my life, knowing that A Piece of Me was Missing, but not being sure if it was ever going to exist.  Suddenly, I met this person that made that all go away.  Then, after one argument, it was all over.  That happy place was shattered into a billion pieces.  I couldn’t explain that feeling to anyone, I just had to wake up everyday and face the fact that the thing that made me happier than I ever thought I could be was gone, and I didn’t ever see it coming back.

Honestly, I thought I was tired. It just made no sense to me to wake up and face classes, friends, life. My bed was just so much more comfortable.  I stopped going to classes, because when I was there, I wasn’t paying attention to what the teachers were saying anyway.  So why go to sleep in class, when my bed was right there?  I left my dorm every night at 6:oo pm for dinner with the Crew, then went right back to my room to sleep some more.  I honestly don’t know how no one noticed.  I did the bare minimum, for at least 6 months. At the end of that semester, my GPA was a 1.1427. Do you know how many classes you have to fail to get that GPA? 3, and get 2 D’s, and an A in choir.

My 3.7 GPA freshman year is the ONLY thing that kept me enrolled in the University of Dayton. I went from the 3.7 to a 2.0. Academic Probation was 1.9, I JUST made it.  I knew something had to change.  I was losing roommates, and friends because of my attitude and I really didn’t care.  One day, when I couldn’t stand to be in my room another minute, I went into the study carrols to write in my journal, and as I was writing, I noticed that I couldn’t breathe.  I fell to the floor, crying so loud the people in the dorm next door came to see what was wrong.  I cried for 45 minutes, listening to Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now”.

I picked myself up off the floor, walked back to my room and swore to myself I would never let someone hurt me like that again. 2 years later, during a road trip with a Soror of mine, we were talking about relationships and how they can change the course of your life.  I told her the story of my “Celine Dion Breakthrough.” She looked me straight to my face and said to me, “You know that was depression, right?” I actually said to her, “Black People don’t get depressed, We don’t have time.” But once we started talking about everything else that was going on with me at that time, I started to think that maybe she was right.

I went to the Student Center, and talked to someone about what had happened, and they confirmed that yes, I had been suffering from Depression.  So it had a name, that overwhelming feeling of nothingness.  The thought that all my actions are leading me to a place that doesn’t matter.  The need to just be in my bed, under the covers, watching every movie I own.  When you hear about Depression, you never hear about that part.  You see that ladies surrounded by boxes of tissue, with runny noses, eating ice cream. The face of Depression is usually a White one.

Today, I had a conversation with my mother about Depression, and her realization that it might be a family issue.  I’ve only been in the “Celine Dion” Place one other time, and that was when I first moved to AZ. My mother knew, I think she could tell.  Usually, when I get near to that place she’s the first person to see it now.  When I was at school, no one understood what the hell had caused me to change that much, and no one ever said to me, “Maybe you’re Depressed.” It wasn’t a thought.

Because Black women don’t deal with Depression.  We don’t acknowledge it.  We really don’t even know what it is.  It’s the been labeled, “Some other shit that I need to deal with,” or “I was just having an off week,” or “It’s too cold to leave the house,” or “I’ll just go to work tomorrow.” It’s hard to put a name to something you don’t understand, know how to acknowledge, or sometimes want to.

Depression is the festering sore that picks at the psyche of Beautiful Women, until they can’t take it anymore, and you get a phone call asking if you have heard from So & So in a week?  Depression is one traumatic event after another, pulling you into an abyss that you can’t navigate.  Depression is “I’m just not good enough,” & “Why won’t someone love me,” & “Why don’t people see/hear/listen to/understand me?” Depression is sleeping the whole day and finding yourself buried in 18 months worth of bills. Depression is struggling to face everyday at work without bursting into tears.  Depression is hiding in your closet listening to Purple Rain at 5 in the morning.

Depression is a battle that some of my friends are losing.  Because we DON”T talk about it. We don’t want anyone to see that we don’t have a handle on this problem.  We, as Black Women, have so MUCH stuff to deal with, that we don’t have time to take care of our mental health.  But if we don’t talk about it, we are going to continue to lose ourselves.  In bad choices, and bad relationships, and situations that put our health/life at risk.  We will continue to lose ourselves to drugs, and liquor, and sex, and cutting, and suicide attempts, and everything else that comes from holding the pain inside.

I’m not in a bad place.  I’m actually in a great place right now.  But there might be someone who needs to know they aren’t alone.  Who feels like they can’t make it one more day.  This is for you.  To let you know that you can make it, as long as you acknowledge that you are having a problem in the first place. You are not ALONE in your fight.  Find someone to talk to, even if it’s a stranger.  Figure out the ROOT of your issue, and if you don’t know how {because you don’t watch Oprah and Dr. Phil enough} ASK FOR HELP. It’s only a secret if you hide from it. Depression don’t HAVE to be the end, it can be the beginning.

Once you can acknowledge the issues . . . You can start working on Filling the Gap/Closing the Gap.