Tag Archive | You Mad Huh?

I’m Mad as Hell . . . and I’m Not Going to Take It Anymore

I’m Mad my former best friend betrayed me.  I’m Mad that I cared too much about being the bigger person to tell her to go Fuck Herself.  I’m Mad I’m still hurt about her not caring I’m hurt. I’m Mad she didn’t care enough about a friendship we spent 10+ years building, and instead chose to compromise it with someone she had known for less than 6 months. I’m Mad that we had an amazing Idea for a book that would have made us so much money, and now it won’t be written because we don’t speak. 

I’m Mad as FUCK I fell in love with a man that wasn’t attracted to me.  I’m Mad I let him make me feel ugly, and unattractive.  I’m Mad I stopped looking at myself as a woman, and instead of as a thing that needed to be fixed.  I’m Mad I still won’t speak of the other fucked up things that went on in our relationship because I care about other people’s feelings.   I’m pissed the fear of rejection he, seemingly systematically, instilled in me follows me everywhere I go.  I’m Mad as FUCK I’m afraid to like someone.  Not because I don’t think I’m awesome, but because I don’t want to risk losing something great again.  I’m Mad he played me in public, with my family. . . 

Speaking of Family . . . I’m Mad my Biological Family is full of assholes.  I’m Mad my Brother is a bitch, and lets his Bitch wife run his life.  I’m Mad my brother would rather kiss my father’s ass than expect better for himself.  I’m Mad my niece would believe anything he would say about me.  I’m Mad I lived in Arizona and my support system was not related to me, with the exception of my Older Sister.  I’m Mad I will probably never speak to that side of my family again, because I don’t know how to speak to them without telling all of them to Go Fuck Themselves.

I’m Mad at my job, for exposing me to the most fucked up people I’ve ever met.  I’m Mad I’m so out of touch with that side of society, that I can’t help them the way I want to.  I’m Mad people don’t understand how prevalent Domestic Violence is. I’m Mad the women I am trying to help are their own worst enemy.  I’m Mad I’m struggling to see past a Survivor’s Mentality, and into the person they have the potential to be.  I’m Mad the same woman who says she cares about her child, smokes like a chimney.  I’m Mad there is an entire generation of children who are being raised with a role Model like Nicki Minaj.

I’m Mad Nicki Minaj is even an artist.  I’m Mad people call Eminem a Misogynist  but Nicki can’t refer to a female without using the words Bitch Hoe or Cunt.  I’m Mad the Feminist Movement has completely ignored Black Women and our struggle. I’m Mad I know what Rape Culture is. I’m Mad Rick Ross made a song about Date Rape, and no one is rioting and burning his music. I’m Mad I know what Misogyny is.  I’m Mad I Can’t be a Feminist, cuz I’m Black, Fat, and Educated.  

I’m Mad stress is making me gain weight.  I’m Mad the sun doesn’t fucking shine in Michigan like EVER.  I’m Mad I have no motivation to do anything anymore.  I miss Arizona, and the Tucson JCC Gym, and having a gym where I work.  I miss being happy driving and seeing the sun.  I’m Mad I don’t see mountains while I’m driving anymore.  I’m Mad I feel like I ran away from Arizona, because I just couldn’t take not being loved anymore. 

I’m Mad that I have so much anger inside of me all the time that all i want to do is punch someone.  Like literally punch a stranger in the face at all hours of the day.  I’m Mad this anger is causing me to lose friends, and push them away.  I’m Mad no one understands why I’m so angry, and I can’t vocalize it without feeling like I’m just complaining about petty shit.

I’m Mad people date/marry/stay with people they don’t want to be with.  I’m Mad I know more people who have cheated on their significant others than I do people who are faithful.  I’m Mad almost every male I know married the person they thought everyone accept, not the person that made them happy.  I’m Mad people stay in relationships for “Stability/Children/Family” but are willing to ruin someone else’s life to find their happiness.  

I’m Mad I spent years searching for the perfect man, then I found him.  I’m Mad I’m TERRIFIED of him.

I’m Mad I want to be happy, but don’t see it happening anytime in the near future.  I’m Mad I live with my mother.  I’m Mad I’m writing this blog, and hoping no one reads it because if they do, they are going to know I’m slowly losing my mind.  I’m Mad talking to people is frustrating for the first time in my life.  Because I always seem to be on the verge of tears if we discuss something of merit or value.  I’m Mad the only people who seem to understand my “Second-hand Trauma” have trauma of their own, so I don’t really want to burden them with mine. 

I’m just Mad.  I’m trying to move past it, and it’s not working.  So I thought I would write this, and maybe just saying it to strangers would help.

Seriously People, Get Over Yourselves . . .

By Now, you probably know how I feel about Society’s attack of Chris Brown.  Yes, I root for those who I feel have been disenfranchised by the assholes who are in charge of the world.

So today, we shall discuss the creation of
Team Lebron Has No Integrity.

Yup, he was 16

First: The Decision

Hey Guess What.  Ya’ll have been on Lebron’s Balls since he was in High School. And not even like senior year of High School, like Sophomore Year.  So why in the ass fuck hell are you surprised that he turned his decision into an Event.  ESPN was broadcasting his high school games.  REGULAR SEASON GAMES.  Not even Play-Offs.  I don’t even WATCH Basketball and I knew who he was before he even picked a team.

Keep in Mind.  I left work to watch The Decision.  NOT because I cared what his decision was, but because I KNEW my Twitter Timeline was going to go HAM during the broadcast.  I wasn’t wrong.  Some of the best things I saw.

RT @ambboogie: RT @maronziovance: If Lebron leaves Cleveland, the state of Ohio will go into foreclosure.

@tysofly: Dear Cleveland, If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it! – Love, Lebron

And this was BEFORE the Letter from Dan Gilbert.

@0_oMzJoy: He looks like Santa Claus……..or the Grinch that stole Cleveland’s economy.

@tdixonspeaks: What young 20 something man with money and fame WOULDN’T go to Miami? #duh

So Lebron is Going to Miami with Bosh and Wade. Cuz he wants to Win.

Cue the Riots, Angry Tweets, and FB Stati

So It is Written, So It Shall Be Done

Folks was burning Jersey’s in the street.  Oh woe is Cleveland.  It will never be the same.  We will just continue to rot in the recesses of the Midwest.  What will be do now that our Major Economic Resource has left us?!?!?!

You mean to tell me the ONLY thing that Cleveland had going for itself was ONE MAN. Not even the team, but ONE MAN. Ya’ll can’t think of anything else that you can do to make ya’ll feel better as a city?!?!?

Second: Dan Gilbert is a Douchebag

Not only is he a Douchebag, but he’s a racist, arrogant, assholish prick.  We won’t even discuss that he’s a fucking IDIOT for posting that letter on the teams website.  But what self-respecting white man posts an open letter in blue Comic Sans font.  Dear Sir, You Suck.

The first thing I thought while reading the letter, “You Mad Huh?” Are you seriously that offended that he held a press conference at announce his decision? You mad that he was tired of carrying your damn city.  He’s been doing it since he was 18? Ya’ll couldn’t get it together in that 7 years.  Ya’ll don’t give a hell about him.

Jesse Jackson was on point (IMO) when he said that letter was written with a Slave Owners Mentality.  He was mad because his Prize Stallion decided to leave.  Nothing in that letter said anything about how much LeBron has helped the team (or the City of Cleveland for that matter). My favorite Line:

The self-declared former “King” will be taking the “curse” with him down south. And until he does “right” by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch.

Raving Lunatic

Did you just say Just Watch in a business letter?!?!?  Dan Gilbert, You Sir are Fired.  Then, to make matter’s worse, he changed the cost of LeBron’s Fathead.com wall posting from $99 to $17. His explanation, “That’s the year Benedict Arnold was Born.” ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL?!?!? Just, Dammit.

Third: Lebron is Selfish?

Okay, seriously people, get over yourself.  Stop with the bitching and moaning about how he’s ruined his Legacy because he left Cleveland.  HE’S 25 YEARS OLD. If his legacy has already been created, I feel sorry for him.  He hasn’t been in the NBA long enough to HAVE a Legacy.  His Legacy is going to be made NOW.

Now that he has taken control of his career, and he knows what he wants to do with it.  Barring any major injuries, this is going to be the time when we see what Lebron is really made of.  When he is part of a team that has players who know how to play, who all have the same common goal.  A team that is not waiting on him to be “Captain Win the Playoffs.”  THIS is when he will get to be Great.

Yes We Did?

Old school players are steady chiming in on his decision. “This would have never happened in the years of MJ & Magic & Bird” OF COURSE IT WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED!!! It was a different era.  Money was not the end all be all.  You didn’t really worry about endorsements.  TMZ wasn’t around to catch your every action.  They were around during a time that two parent households were the norm.  A time when your high school coach tried to help you be a man, not sleep with your mom.

He’s a 25 year old man.  He made a decision a 25 year old man would make.  Besides, who wants to be on a team with the guy who slept with your mom.  I mean really.  Maybe Gilbert should have done more to deal with that situation, instead of writing prissy ass letters.

Integrity, Honor, Respect are Learned Behaviors.  If you had no one who looked at you as a child/man who needed to be molded into that (as opposed to a Meal Ticket), are we really expecting him to have all of those?  Instead of being pissed off that people are comparing him to you, Michael Jordan, why don’t you take Lebron under your wing?  That’s right I forgot you are too busy cheating on your wife.

In closing, how ’bout all of you Shut the Fuck Up and Leave LeBron alone.  Let him be great, or at least part of a Great Team.  He’s Earned That.