Archives

No More Mediocre 

I’m tired of mediocre people. I’m tired of mediocre people in power. I’m tired of mediocre people with power and privilege. I’m tired of mediocre people with power and privilege having any sort of say in the everyday workings of my life. 
I’ve spent most of my adulthood, being forced to deal with mediocre people in positions of power. There was a time when I didn’t really care. But it seems that since around January 20th, 2009…this shit has really come to the forefront. My contemporaries elected the first black President, and folks lost their gotdamn minds. 

The people who voted for the Only President I will ever claim, all of a sudden felt all their years of benefiting from their privilege no longer mattered. They felt they should be rewarded for their charity, and race should no longer be a part of any dialogue. 
You shouldn’t be rewarded. No one is going to clap for you. No one cares about your political act of charity. The movie Get Out just solidified some things I’ve been thinking out for the past year. I’m tired of mediocre people in positions of power (both minute and great) demanding respect they haven’t earned. 

I don’t have to respect, like, or care about you (or your feelings) just because you are a liberal (white) woman. I have the right to deny you that respect. Because, my people are free. I am notafraid of you, and in truth never have been. Because you didn’t earn your power, it was handed to you. 
The anger that comes, from knowing I’m better than people and yet I’m not afforded the same access and privilege they are. Some of this I can’t control….but there is a reason I have a therapist. Cuz sometimes that anger can be overwhelming. The difference between them and me…my knowing I’m better than you doesn’t make me address you differently. 

I don’t want your power. I don’t even want your privilege (I mean the good credit yes, but other than that….) I’m good.  
Being black is beautiful. It’s a blessing. At 35 I can say that and understand that phrase. There is nothing better in this world than an intelligent black American woman. Because we have carried the burdens of this country since it’s inception. 

The difference between “Us and Them”, we don’t want your power or your privleges. We just want to be able to create our own, without you trying to take it and make it yours. 

I don’t want your job. I know I can do your job better than you can. So do you, and that’s why you hate me.  I’m starting to believe that it’s some times in the very nature of mediocre people, to ruin any semblance of greatness. LET ME BE GREAT! My greatness doesn’t block your shine…its not meant to. 

I’m great at everything. This country created me to be a jack of all trades. I have to master everything, because survival is key. That’s why I can adapt to everything, because genetically I’m here because my ancestors did the same thing. The strong and resilient ones were the ones that lived. They killed the rest of them. 


I’m so tired of having to dim my light to make mediocre people feel comfortable. I’m so tired of code switching to keep my attitude in check. I’m so fucking tired of being told to stay in my place, because some sensitive ass mediocre bitch is sensitive and feels challenged. 
Wanna know why everyone likes me, cuz I’m honest. I know exactly who and what I am. When I say to them, “We dont judge,” its not empty words. I actually mean that shit. People gravitate towards truth, and those who try to destory it will never win. 

Call this a manifesto of sorts, if you will. My light is finna blind (but not block) these mediocre ass people. 

I am Amazing. I am Beautiful, I am a Genius, and I am indeed Better Than You. This is my truth. I’m living in it. 

Sorry, Not Sorry.

Dear Hip-Hop and R&B . . . I missed you

The best thing about music, is that it’s infinite, right? Music can be anything, sound like anything, mean anything at any given time.  Recently, I’ve found myself stuck in a musical rut.  Only listening to songs ive known for 5+ years, and not really exploring other music.  Possibly because my life has been in such a constant state of turmoil, and I’ve been needing to find my balance.  I’ve felt so off lately, and so out of control. So imagine my surprise when new music is the thing that finally brought me some peace. I’m not quite sure how/why I decided to try new albums and listen to other peoples outlooks on life, but I’m really glad I did.

BJ The Chicago Kid – In My Mind

I’ve been hearing this was a good album from people I trust on Twitter.  3 days ago, I started listening while I was getting ready for work.  The MINUTE i heard Big K.R.I.T’s voice on The Resume, I apporoved this album.  Cuz K.R.I.T is #Bae, and always will be.  Jill Scott had already co-signed him on her most recent album, and the song i’d heard with Chance the Rapper (also #Bae) was good, so I kept listening.  This is an album you put on when you want to write about Love and God and how they intersect in your life.  It’s an excellent album to have playing in the background during a cakin’ session with your new potential boo, or while you are organizing stuff on a Saturday night.  His voice is smooth, and has an underlying soul that has been missing with new artists.  He also samples GOOD soul music. Also, Kendrick Lamar.  Cuz (you guessed it) #Bae. Speaking of Kendrick . . .

Kendrick Lamar – Untitled Unmastered.

1) Kudos for the Surprise Album.  It was well played, and  GOOD album.  Each song is solid, they all sound good.
2) Alicia Key’s Son, Egypt, produced Track 7. Like, he created the beat. HE’S 5 YEARS OLD. The child is clearly already proving he’s a musical genius.  And why not, Homewrecker Keys + Swizz Beats = Musical Talent.  Also, Kudos Kendrick for using the beat, and making it my favorite track on the album.
3) I love that each song sounds like a continuation of a song from either To Pimp a Butterfly or GKMC.  These songs could be put on either of those albums, and still have a lasting impact.  His message is consistent, and when most artists are trying to sound and be different every other day, it’s actually pretty refresshing.
4) Did you see his Grammy Performance? This Man is #WOKE. Whew, he made white folks SO mad and confused at the same damn time!

Tweet – Charlene

I missed this Tweet. This album actually reminds me of her debut album. The reason it was so successful was because we could relate to every song. The same can be said for Charlene. It feels like the diary of a relationship. All those emotions that you go through after you break up, all the songs you need to sing to yourself to heal. The overall tone of the album is, “I’m grown, and I’ve made some mistakes. But don’t get it twisted, I’m still amazing.”

Chris Brown ft. Usher & Zayn – F**k You Back to Sleep (Remix)

Okay seriously, I haven’t even listened to Chris Brown’s new album. I hear it’s good, the cover art is cute. But he looks like too much of a meth addict for me to enjoy his music right now. But this remix right here . . . . Like OMG. Usher and Zayn in one song. Just grrrrr. Ursher . . . Yes Ursher’s verse is the best one. He’s so nasty. Using all those bad words, talking about all that grown up stuff. He done went and got murried, and now he ain’t shamed about his grown up sex life. Also, Zayn could GET IT. Like for Real he could get all the business. He looks like the British guy who’s first girlfriend was a black girl with a cockney accent. Even Chris yelling out Karruche’s name like an ass hole in the middle of the song doesn’t bother me . . .that much. Its a song you can play on repeat when you need to get your mind right, or let your mind go. It can serve a dual purpose. This got added to a FEW playlists.

So yeah, that what I’m currently listening to. I’m also looking forward to some new albums coming out this year. Beyoncé, Fantasia, Anthony Hamilton, KMichelle (judge if you must). A lot of folks are in the studio right now, so I’m excited for the next few months. What are you currently listening to?

A Book Series I Love: The Black Dagger Brotherhood

image

Here’s the Thing.  The reason I fell in love with this series, was because it provided everything I needed after I moved back to Michigan.  I needed something to think about, so I could stop dwelling on my life and what not.  Thankfully, I joined this great Facebook group, and someone in the group gave me access to all the books.  Let me just share some need to know things . . .

1) These aren’t your average Vampires. 
They are WARRIORS. They have an actually enemy, The Lessers, who don’t die.  They just get recycled back into the main bad guys – The Omega – bloodstream.  Sound Complicated? It so IS. And that’s what I love about it.  It’s a complete world.  Its not just Vampires hiding from humans, its told in real time, and they live in the Boston Metro Area.  Yaaaaaas for the Accents. They have their own slang, and if you spend enough time reading, you will start to talk like them.  Okay, maybe that’s just me. Either way, it’s a really good series to read and fully immerse yourself into.

2) Vishous is #Bae
Every single on of these Vampires is Sexy in their own way.  You will have a favorite, or several favorites.  V is my favorite because . . . Dominant.  All the Kinky Sex.  Him and Butch – Human turned Vampire – have this beautiful sexual tension.  I’m still waiting for something to pop off.  Like a foursome with them and their wives – Shellans – Or just a whole chapter of someone’s Wet Dream.  Speaking of sex . . . It’s SO GOOD in this series.  Very Primal, nothing pretty and cutesy about it. Even the characters that have sexual hang-ups, still have all the good sex. 

3) Each Brother has their own Story
The Best Part of the Series, is you can choose who you read about.  I highly recommend reading all of them in order, tho.  You will become invested easier that way.  You will also get the back story of the Vampire Society as a whole, as well as the fight against The Omega and the Lesser Society.  So far, there are 13 books, plus an off-shoot that JUST came out about their training academy.  Each book is anywhere from 300 – 780 pages, so even if you are a fast reader like me, it might take you an entire day to read some of the books. But it’s totally worth it.

4) It’s kind of a really Big Deal
There are BDB groups all over the place.  There are all over FB.  The Author, J. R. Ward, won’t turn the series into a movie.  But people have been guessing for years what each of the Brother’s looks like.  Some people are stupid, and try to make the Shadows – The Two Black People – white, but even J.R. has called them stupid for that.  Below, I have posted a graphic of who I think would play them in a movie.  Personally, I would like to see a NetFlix Series about them.  Like each book gets 2.5 hours, then they just do another season that has the every day adventures of the Brotherhood.  So J. R., if you read this, you heard it here first.

image

Enjoy The Series! Please feel free to share your thoughts.

I Think I Might Love Writing Challenges

So, my life is super busy.  I rarely have time to sit down and write an in-depth blog anymore.  Because writing a blog for me, takes about 2 – 3 hours, depending on the topic.  And If I have to search for images, or song lyrics, or some clip or point of reference . . . That’s gonna take even longer.  The problem is, I only sit down at a keyboard 3-4 times a week, and I’m actually working then.  So I think for a while, I’m going to just do some writing challenges, with the occasional deep ass blog thrown in when I have time.

To my new readers, thank you so much for following my blog!  I never expected anyone to follow this thing, and I’ve been for 9+ years.  I hope you find things that amuse, help, make you laugh, etc.  You might also find some things you don’t agree with  (Probably everything written from 2007-2009.  That was my anything goes/Sarcastic Asshole phase.)

And now, for today’s topic: 5 Ways to Win My Heart

image

1) You Need to Be Dominant
I’ve wholeheartedly accepted that I’m submissive when it comes to relationships.  Seriously, I wrote two blogs about it. So I’m not here for you if you want me to take care of you.  I can be supportive, and affectionate, but I refuse to be in charge in our relationship.  I won’t respect you, and the relationship will end VERY quickly.  This doesn’t mean you should beat the crap outta me, this means I should be able to trust you enough to let you be in charge.

a-man-is-not-a-financial-plan-quote-12) You have to have AT LEAST what I Have.
I’m not a parent, I shouldn’t be taking care of you.  If you don’t have at least what I have, we aren’t going to work.  If I’m working two jobs, you have to AT LEAST be working one full time job.  You don’t have to own a Tesla, cuz me and my Buick Century are just fine.  You don’t even have to OWN your house, but you need to have one.  What do i look like introducing you to my friends and family, and I have to explain what you bring to the relationship? I’ve done that, it makes me feel stupid.  I don’t care how great the sex is, if you embarrass me, I shouldn’t be dealing with you.

images-13) Don’t Woo me, if you can’t keep it up
If i meet you, and every night is eating at fancy restaurants, and movies, and Dave and Busters, Keep That Shit Up.  You set the expectations, if you stop living up to them one of two things is going to happen.  A) I’m going to take it personal, and assume you have started to think less of me or b) I’m gonna get pissed off and break up with you.  If your circumstances change, it’s understandable if some things have to be put on the back burner for a while.  But you have to put in the work consistently. Consistency is Key to keep me focused on you and/or our relationship.

09d1e7e1135c1c82dbdb118ea8cbdab3-612x612x14) Introduce me to something new
Is it bad I need to be Wowed? I’ve seen some pretty amazing things, not gonna lie.  So you are going to have to step my game up. Cuz I like new stuff.  I have new interest ADD.  I like to explore all the things.

image5) Be Woke
I can’t be with you if you aren’t knowledgable about societal issues.  You can’t be a Republican.  You can’t be watch Fox News.  You have to know who Chris Hayes and Rachael Maddow are.  You have to be able to tell the difference between an actual news story, and a hoax post. You need to know who Deray, Netta, and Luvvie are.  You don’t have to be Black, honestly.  But if you are White, you need to know what Privlege is, and acknowledge yours.  You have to be able to deal with me being upset when a Black Child Dies.  You need to be able to deal with my anger about another White Man killing innocent people and not being called a terrorist. You Have To Be Woke.

So that’s it.  Not too bad right?  

30 Day Writing Challenge: Your Current Relationship

So this might cause a few phone calls . . . But you know. In for a penny and all that . . .

My Ideal Relationship: Emo, Sex, and a Lil Bit of Both

Emo:
image

I need an emotional connection with someone.  I need to have someone in my life that I can trust with my deepest, darkest, fears and dreams.  I’ve only had that with two people, TBTLNY and MM.  Because I didn’t know how powerful a true emotional connection  was, I confused those feelings with being In Love with them. I thought all those feelings were supposed to lead to marriage and babies and forever.  I wasn’t sexually attracted to either of them.  Not because they weren’t unattractive, because both of them are beautiful actually.  You saw TBTLNY in my “First Love” blog.  I won’t post one of MM . . .because feelings. Anyway, it wasn’t strange to me that I didn’t want to have sex with them, I figured hey, maybe we will get there in time.

But we never did, and I really didn’t care about that we didn’t. I was completely with the intimacy we had. It wasn’t until recently that I started questioning why that was.  The only two people I’ve considered myself “In Love” with were not sexual partners. It’s because I don’t think emotions and sex should or can be combined.  I’ve never felt a pure emotional connection during sex. This probably mean’s i’ve been doing it wrong.  And that’s okay. But I think I want to keep them separate, for now any way.

Sex:
image

I need a sex partner.  Someone who understands – and doesn’t judge me for – my sexual needs.  I need someone who makes me want to lick my lips when I think about them, or grin at inappropriate text messages, or send naughty pictures.  Sex is a release of sorts for me, always has been.  A way to deal with the stress in my life at the time, or just to get rid of pent up energy.  This fabled sexual partner, doesn’t just have to be one person.  I’d prefer a roster.  Like 3 people with different skill level or set.

I want a Giver of Monster Head that actually lives in the same state I’m in. Maybe I can find a Big Daddy Long Stroke to keep me on my toes.  I need someone that’s always down for a good full body massge. I also need for Emo and Sex to get along with each other.  It sounds Poly-Amorus . . . Which is like a really white word for “I want my cake and wanna eat it too.  And I want it to be Calorie free, and good for me.  Also i want a very specific buttercream icing.” And that’s fine too.

Lil Bit of Both
image

I also want a girlfriend.  A nice brown-skinned Soft Stud.  With curly hair, or a short hair cut, or maybe dreads.  Who presents as masculine, likes to wear bowties, and is #ExtremelyWoke.  Maybe her major in college was African American Studies, or the African Disporia.  She goes to poetry readings, and coffee houses in her free time.  But she is rarely free, becaue she spends most of her time attending protests, sometimes leading them.  My girlfriend will be my little bit of both.  She will get along with Emo, be friends with Sex, and complete me.  Filling that space the other two can’t.

Is that too much to ask? How come we have to find everything we want in just one person? Why can’t we pick and choose what we want/need/desire and not hold every person to the various standards we have.  Your needs change, you grow with each life experience.  So what worked in 2011, might not be what you need for 2015.  I’m really tired of setting myself up for failure, because I keep wanting my life to look like what i’ve been told it should.

I am the Master of My Fate, I am the Owner of My Destiny.

And my Fate/Destiny may just happen to be, Two Boys and a Girl. 

30 Day Writing Challenge: A book I liked, and a Book I didn’t like.

image

Everything I knew about Love, until like 3years ago, I got from Nora Roberts.  That’s not an exaggeration.  Everything I thought I knew about what love felt like, and what love should look like, I got from books written by Nora Roberts.  The first book I read by her was Montana Sky.  It’s this epic sweeping novel based in Montana and the descriptions she used to talk about the land made me feel like I had been there myself. 

Nora is really good at descriptions, like really good.  Almost too good.  She usually has pages and pages of thougths and feelings, and analyzations about the whys and the how’s of every situation.  In Montana Sky, I was emotionally invested in the characters just from their descriptions. 

Before I read Montana Sky, the most risque books i’d read were by Danielle Steele, that’s actually how I found her.  I was at Borders – remember when they existed – and I noticed her section was bigger than Danielle Steel’s.  I was like, well who is THIS heffa.  So i picked a book that started with my name – becasue selfish – and I was lost in it almost immediately. There was Action, and Lust, and Drama, and Fight Scenes.  It was like watching a movie on paper.  It might have been the first time I read a 500+ page novel in one sitting.  

I will always love Nora Roberts, she taught me so much.  About writing, and character development, and creating a back story that made you care about these ficticious people. I’ve taken some of these tools in my own fiction writing, I see it all the time when i re-read books that I have started and never finished.

image

More like the dumbest book ever.  I don’t get the hype.  All i heard freshman year of college was how amazing Sista Soulja was, and how her book – The Coldest Winter Ever – had helped to guide them in figuring out themselves as people.  They also talked about how it made them look at being a black woman. Maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up in the inner-city and have a crackhead for a mother, or that my “black woman” experience wasn’tlike most peoples.  I’m not quite sure why I hated this book, but I hated it. 

Also, how are you a character in your ownbook.  Like, WHAT?!?!?!? It was Sista Soulja propaganda.  The whole book she was talking about how awesome she was.  I can’t remember if I was going through something at the time, or what.  I just know I felt dumber after readingt the book.  I was not invested at all in the storyline, it might have taken me over a week to finish it, which is unheard of for me.  It’s a stupid book. I also havnen’t re-read it since like 1999.  Maybe I should read it again, see if I get anything out of it this time.  I probabaly won’t though, cuz I have 40+ books in my Kindle right now that haven’t been read yet. 

30 Day Writing Challange: My Tattoos and What They Mean

image

I have 4 tattoos. 

Those are my first two.  The first one is No More Drama in Arabic. In my defense, I got it before 9/11, in Feb 2000 to be exact.  I was clearly inspired by the Mary J Blige song that came out the year before.  I was going to have a whole story down my back.  The second part of said story was the Drama mask (Comedy + Tragedy).  Following that should have been be a peace sign, then finally a ying/yang when I felt balanced in my life.  But the mask hurt WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much, so the story ended there. (For Know)

My 3rd Tattoo is a Butterfly on my foot.  That hurt like a Son of a Bitch! Evidently, even if your feet are swollen, it’s still the part of your body with the least amount of fat, thus you are basically tattooing muscle.  I cried so hard y’all. My friends made fun of me. I blogged about it too.

image

This is my foot. The Left Foot. Sooooooooooo, there is a weird story about this one.  So I was reading 50 Shades of Grey, and going through a massive break-up.  John Mayer’s Born and Raised had just come out, and I heard the song “Love is a Verb.” I MIGHT have called my ex and sang this on his voicemail.  MIGHT is the keyword.  I had been awake for about 48 hours, and getting this tattoo’ed on my body for the rest of my life, was like the greatest Idea I’d ever had.  Sleep deprivation will make you do some CRAZY things. The songstill means a lot to me.  It’s a reminder to Walk theTalk as it were.

My next Tattoo will be the words, “Adulting is Hard;” as inspired by the SemiColon Project, followed by my nephew’s date of death. Hopefully I will be getting this one before the end of the year.

30 Day Writing Challenge: 5 Problems with Social Media

So I’m a day late getting this started, because  . . . Life.  I’m going to try relally hard to stay on point, and do every single day. So without furthur ado . . .

image

I Miss Her . .

1) Amber is no longer a part of it.
In July, my friend, Soror, Sister Amber Pratcher passed away unexpectedly. I’d gotten so used to seeing posts from her on a daily basis, conversing with in various FB groups, live-tweeting events with her on Twitter, that her absence is felt daily.  I miss her snide comments, her commanding me to Stay Woke and be an active voice.  I just miss her. Social Media isn’t the same.  We became frineds viz Social Media (College Club and BlackPlanet) and she was able to touch so many lives using it as a medium.  Social media just isn’t the same without her.

2) Everyone has access to it.
I see some of the dumbest shit on Social Media being passed off as fact, because dumb people are trying to stay woke too.  #HotepTwitter is running rampant with their memes about false African Facts.  You see quotes being assigned to people that aren’t true, and people are just off believing it.  I’ve lost some hero’s because of Social Media as well. Sometimes, you need the veil between your Idea of an artist, and that artist’s actual personallity.  Jill Scott completely lost me as a fan for about 5 months over that Bill Cosby is innocent series of Tweets.  While everyone deserves to have avoice, Social Media has led me to believe everyone’s voice shouldn’t be heard.

3) It’s Far Too Addictive
My mom has run up my Phone Bill all because of Facebook.  She discovered that it’s an excellent way to pass time.  She watches all the videos, like all of them.  Every single one that ever shows up pn her TimeLine.  When she was staying with me last year, her phone was connected to my WiFi, so she wasn’t using data.  She can go through 2 GB’s of Data in 5 days. She doesn’t even stream music!! Clearly, I’ve been spoiled with my unlimited Data for the last 6 years, but still.

4) It’s really Invasive
If you allow it to be that is.  I used to give people way too much access to me and my life on Social Media.  I wrote a blog about it and everything. {Insert hyperlink} I shouldn’t know about the problems of your relationship because you post it all on FB.  I souldn’t know your ovulation cycle because of Twitter.  We give people access they haven’t earned, and then are upset when they butt into our lives.  The smartest thing I ever did was stop personalizing my Facebook page.  I can share my happiness without sharing the details with the world.  It’s better that way, at least I think so.

5) I don’t know a 5th Bad thing
Because in general I like Social Media.  It’s a way for me to be connect to my friends, most of whom I actually met on Social Media.  They live all over the country, and I can keep up with their lives via Facebook and Instagram and sometimes Twitter.  Social Media is a part of my everyday life.  Less than it used to be, that’s for sure.  But checking in on a daily basis is expected. 

I’d Rather Go Blind (or) . . . an Ode to James Baldwin

I have to start this blog by saying, I’ve never finished a James Baldwin novel.  I was SUPPOSED to in my Race in American Lit class in 11th grade . . .but youth. I have to also say, I’ve lived my live on the fringe of “Black Consciousness.” Meaning, I knew the world was fucked up.  I just chose to not let the fuckedupedness {yes, that is indeed a word} affect me.  Sadly, 2014 happened.  Actually, to be honest, 2008 happened . . . but we will get there.

I’ve stated on more than one occasion, I was raised strangely.  I had access to my history.  I knew my family’s history, and the history of my people.  Not because I went to the best schools {even though that helped} or because I was so well read {again, that did help}, but because my mother made sure I knew.  I didn’t know other people didn’t watch Eyes on the Prize on a yearly basis until college.

Best. Series. Ever.

Best. Series. Ever.

I’m not just talking about a casual glace, I mean we planned our WEEK around it showing on PBS.  Homework was done at school, so that i didn’t have to do it at home.  We sang all the protest songs while we were cooking dinner, and we sat down together to watch it.  I knew who the Little Rock Nine were before the Disney Movie came out.  I used to love Thurgood Marshall because he looked like my Great Uncle.

So it’s not that I didn’t know that racism and discrimination existed in the world.  I just didn’t have to deal with it.  I lived in Detroit, but I went to school in the suburbs.  All my friends were white.  If they weren’t white, they were something that wasn’t Black.  I’ve been the minority my whole life, even within my circle of friends.  Racism was a concept I understood, and had never really encountered until my then best friend’s father found out I was Black.

I'm referring to the white one . . .

I’m referring to the white one . . .

I’d been calling their house the entirety of Freshman Year. The minute the buddy pictures came back, the “secret” was revealed.  This man, whom I had spoken to at length whenever I had called their home, who always asked how I was doing and about my family, suddenly didn’t want his child to spend time with me.  He didn’t want her to drive to my home (even though I lived in the suburbs {better suburbs than them}), he told her not to interact with me at all.  Because I had tricked him! I didn’t “talk Black,” so how was he supposed to know I was invading his daughter’s life and setting such a bad example.  Her dad was an asshole, and he was racist, and he was born in a time when both of those were the norm.

United Colors of Benneton . . .

United Colors of Benetton . . .

Racism didn’t become real to me until affected my paycheck.  I blogged about it, feel free to check it out {here, and here,} Even still it wasn’t something that permeated.  They were #IsolatedIncidents. The world is a better place in the 21st century.  We elected a Black President for crying out loud.  People stood in a voting booth, and said we put our faith in that proud and self-identifiying Black Man, with his Beautiful Black Wife and Children.  The world has changed for the better! Or so we thought . . .

This was my morning board in my classroom for a WEEK!

This was my morning board in my classroom for a WEEK!

What we didn’t know, while we were shouting in the streets, and hugging each other with pride and glee . . . was some folks was MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! WHEW, they was so mad! About life, and everything that was in it. And every time he made a difference, made a change, and potentially helped someone less fortunate than them . . . the anger built. And Bulit. AND BUILT. And for me, being able to ignore the undercurrents of racism was getting harder and harder.  Those names started adding up, and my memories of Eyes on the Prize starting connecting those dots.  From Rodney King, to Malice Green, to Sean Bell, to Oscar Grant, to Trayvon Martin.

Thank God for Black Twitter . . .

Thank God for Black Twitter . . .

Social Media ruined my life! Because I wasn’t just getting my news from CNN anymore.  I had minute my minute updates on things going on all over the country.  Every new name on the list had a hastag, and a story behind that wasn’t being censored by the media.  Suddenly, I had to acknowledge that my bubble had been popped, stepped on, and destroyed.  The anger started to build. And Build. AND BUILD. Why are they killing young children? Why are people so angry? Why do they hate us so much? Why do they work SO HARD to make sure we stay down? Why is no one paying attention?!?! Why does Don Lemon exist on Television?

I . . . loathe . . . you

I . . . loathe . . . you

Why are Black Men Thugs and White Men “troubled” and “mentally unstable?” Why are Black children a threat? Why is CNN reporting a Riot, when Black Twitter is live streaming police being the aggressors? Why are the only pictures of Mike Brown him looking like a “gangsta?” Why does the Republican run government shoot down anything the President attempts to to to a vote? Why is everyone on Fox News an Asshole? Why do I only trust Chris Hayes, Melissa Harris-Perry, and Rachel Maddow?

He Follows ever member of Black Twitter . . .

He Follows ever member of Black Twitter . . .

Why am I TERRIFIED every time I’m pulled over by a police officer? Why do I have to have conversations with all my clients about the dangers of expressing your opinions when dealing with certain kinds of people? Why do I fear for all of the children I work with who were raised in Happy Tucson, and don’t know who the rest of the world sees them? Why did I lose friends because of my reaction to Ferguson? Why was Ferguson the scariest thing I’d ever experienced as an American . . . not September 11th?

2014

2014

I can’t un-see those videos of Black Men AND WOMEN being abused by the people we pay to protect us.  I can’t un-know that 2015 is more like 1964.  I can’t un-experience someone walking in a church and shooting 9 people, because of the color of their skin.  I can’t un-cry those tears of frustration when conversing with people about my pain.

I’d Rather Go Blind.  I’d Rather be Deaf.  I’d Rather be Dumb.

I’m Afraid. I’m Angry.  I’m Hurt.

There is no time to heal. There is no time to recover from seeing Michael Brown’s body in the middle of a street.  There is no way to unwatch John Crawford III getting shot down for HOLDING a gun while talking on the phone. I can’t BREATHE! I can’t catch my breath, because it’s happening everyday.  Twice a day. The list continues to grow.

blackfaces

To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.”

– James Baldwin

This. Is. America.  This is being Black in America. This is Depressing as All the Hells.

This Is My Experience.  

10404164_10155537437240613_3157879657103709411_n

Thank You For Reading.

Wait . . . Black People Make Other People Uncomfortable?!?

Well Color Me Brown Skinned.  You mean all this time, people don’t like me because of the color of my skin and my boisterous voice? You mean it’s not my political viewpoints or my religion? It’s JUST the color of my skin? You mean to tell me I don’t get jobs because I’m Black?!?!?

When I tell you I’m SHOCKED! You don’t even know.  This whole time, I thought Racism was gone! After Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave the “I Have a Dream” Speech, Racism was already on it’s way out.  We had the Civil Rights Bill (oh wait, they revoked that a few years ago), and Clarence Thomas, and Barack Obama.  No One Sees Color Anymore.  Don’t you Read the Internet?

But Then . . . This Happened.

This less than 30 second Interview has caused an Internet Orgasm of Epic Proportions.  There are so MANY things in this clip, and the reactions to it that I want to rant about.  I’m going to try not to veer from my original point, but Let’s Just Take it Step By Step.

1) OMG A Black Man is Yelling!

First, let me say . . . YOU GEAUX FRAT! Richard Sherman was hype at HELL.  As he should have been.  Did you actually watch the game? Or see the play? If you weren’t that hype after helping take your team to the Superbowl, you should just quit playing sports.  Two Minutes after that kind of play, you ask me how I feel about that play.  You should be glad he didn’t push the reporter (we will get to her later) out the way and scream, “I AM A GOD!”

He wasn’t yelling at her, he was yelling at EVERYONE. That’s what you get for doubting him and his skill.  He did what millions of people have been doing from years, staking their Athletic Claim. The Problem . . . he scared a White Lady.

B) Oh Lawd, You Done Scared the Missus

Black Men are never more out of line than when they make a White Woman scared. Or, it’s perceived you scared her.

Erin Andrews Screenshot

Saving a White Woman from the Mandingo Warrior who lusts to defile her . . . Ya’ll! People have lived that narrative their whole life.  That’s why interracial dating is such a huge deal.  Still. 50 Years after The Loving Case. In My Humble Yet Educated Opinion, that’s why there was outrage.  Because this man used his emotion and it scared PollyAnna. *le sigh*

She wasn’t even scared.  Shocked. I’ll give her that.  But he wasn’t even looking at her.  He was looking straight at the camera, almost as if he was talking to a specific person. Like he was sending a message to someone who needed to hear it . . .

3rd) When In Doubt, He Must Be a Thug

richard sherman

When Angry Black Man isn’t enough, the next step is ALWAYS to call him Uneducated. Because God forbid he’s ACTUALLY Stanford Educated.  That’s right, STANFORD. Ivy League.  ANNNNNND He Graduated! Like, OMG. He Has a Degree and plays a Sport! He should be okay . . . as long as he’s making us money.  But then, he got loud. *le super sigh*

‘To Those Who Would Call Me a Thug or Worse …I show passion on the football field—but that’s only a small part of who I am. If you want to judge me, I can handle it. – Richard Sherman

{I’m not even going to talk about the only real way for a Black Man to get an education of the same caliber of his white counterparts IS to play a sport. Or that whole Breeding to be genetically Superior . . .nope. Not Gonna Do It}

Also, This Happened...

Also, This Happened…

Let Us Make this ONE Incident about Race in America

I have read no less than FOUR articles breaking down this 30 second clip.  These articles weren’t short either. Clearly, as I am blogging about this, I am part of the problem.  EXCEPT, I blogging about the reaction to it.  Why does EVERY Single incident when America shows it’s RACIST ASS do we have to do this?!?! Hey Guys . . . WE KNOW! We know that Racism is real.  We know that Black People make Other People Uncomfortable.  

We know that White Women date Black Men to piss off their parents.  We know that Loud Black Men are always labelled Thugish, Ignorant, and Classless. WE. FUCKING. KNOW. You don’t have to write articles about it, and tweet about it, and create memes about it. Don’t Talk About It . . . BE ABOUT IT.

Be the Change you Want to See.  Online Protesting only works if you actually attack the system. Not Each Other. George Zimmerman was prosecuted because we inundated the Prosecuter with calls, emails, letters etc.  Marissa Alexander is no longer in jail because We Fought Back.  The Revolution will take place online . . . when people stop rehashing and reacting.

If Billy Bob and Jo Sue from Alabama hate all Black People, let them.  Unless Billy Bob is also a Senator or law maker, and he also votes in every election, he really has no say in what’s gonna happen.  Stop paying attention to ignorance. DO SOMETHING!

“I am America. I am the part you won’t recognize, but get used to me. Black, confident, cocky. My name, not yours. My religion, not yours. My goals, my own. Get used to me.” ~ Muhammad Ali

All that Being Said . . . What Are YOU doing?