Okay, it had to be done. Lately, I have seen my former self in alot of people around me. That self that felt the need to conform myself to society’s vision of normalcy, or beauty, or perfection. I write blogs all the time that are about being true to yourself, and learning to love where you are right now. I recently befriended a young girl. When I see her, I see the me of high school, in every statement, action, movement, thought. It’s weird to see a mirror of yourself, at a certain age. She is a beautiful young girl, at least to me. But she strives to improve herself, for all the wrong reasons. “I am tired of stupid boys, I need to find a boy.” Her plan, to change her appearance.
We have all done it, changed who we were for that special someone, but in the end you usually find, that you were more happy with yourself when you knew who you were. When you change yourself for the benefits of others, you will never be happy with the end result. Because if those who you change for don’t approve of your changes, then you have to change again, to fit their new Ideal.
On the View (aka The New Rosie O’Donnell Show), they were talking about the word FAT, and how it’s like the only socially accepted prejudice left. Fat jokes are still funny, and the worst insult is to be called fat. Even if you don’t discriminate outwardly, in our own mind, you think about it. “I should lose weight because I want to look like her,” or “I look fat in these jeans.”
(Side note: this isn’t another fat is beautiful blog, I have a point really)
When are we going to get back tot he time when we thought we were the shit. When nothing is wrong with me. When you rocked your hair in a ponytail, and wore pajama pants every damn wear, but you felt cute. To rocking 2 different color flip flops, cuz for the hell of it. Even if people think you are the most annoying person in the world, if you are happy in life then be you. Don’t doubt yourself because of someone else’s thoughts. If you do that, you will doubt yourself for the rest of your life.
Don’t let other’s flaws,and hang ups make you change yourself. It takes so much more courage to be different than to be like everyone else. If you say what you think out loud, be proud of that. If you wear glasses, get you some that you like, and wear them. If you have a big ass zit in the middle of your nose, color it red and say it’s Rudolph day. Shit, do you.
Please please please stop changing. Even if you aren’t in right now, wait a month. If a hot video comes out with everyone wearing glasses, they will be selling glasses at Claire’s again in the mall. Be you, not someone elses image of you. I wish someone had told me this when I was in high school. You don’t have to be the most popular person, everyone doesn’t have to hang on to your every breath.
“If everyone likes you, something is wrong with you.” Not everyone is sexy, not everyone was meant to be the cheerleader, football player, cool girl. If there were not geeks and freaks, I wouldn’t be able to blog my thoughts right now. Fuck the popular people. Be an individual, stand out for being different, unique. Those adjectives are so much more important than skinny, tall, sexy, or hot. If you got nappy hair, and you don’t know what to do with it braid that shit up, and rock it. or fuckit, just be nappy. It’s okay to have flaws. I’m not the sexiest person in the world, not the most beautiful girl in the world, and I damn sure ain’t thin.
It took me so long to actually take pictures, and let other people see him. Pictures that aren’t taken at JcPenny, or Fox Studios, just every day, run of the mill, chillin’ with my girls type pictures. You are always your own worst critic, the flaws you see when you look in the mirror, no one else is really paying attention to. Think about it, that fat roll that pisses you off, can be easily covered if you pull your pants over it. No one is gonna see it if you are just sitting down and chillin’. No one cares that side side of your hair curls better than the other, and if they do, they got some serious problems. Because if your idea of a good time is talking about me, then a) I must be alot more important to you than I thought and b) they have no fuckin’ life.
I spent like from age 12 to Sophomore year of college searching for a dude to pay attention to me, But more dudes approach me now, than when i was constantly on a diet, or changing the way I acted to get someones attention, or conforming to what people around me thought was acceptable. People tell me all the time, “You are so confident, and that makes you beautiful.” No lie, it took me like 10 years to get here, but that is because I had to figure that shit out myself. So that is why I am up at 1:40am, when i should be sleeping, because if one person is feeling me, then I have done what I aim to do. Which is give the AVERAGE girl’s perspective.
Fuck those that can’t take you straight up, or better yet, call me, I will fuck them up for you!