*If I was your teacher in your youth, I’m sorry you had to read these harsh words If I taught your child, I’m sorry you had to see these harsh words. But, they must be said.*
I went to church today. My wonderful Pastor was talking about “Breaking Out of Your Rut” in life. Evidently during my gallivanting (Defn: to go about in search of pleasure) last weekend, I missed part one.
Today’s sermon focused on the last 3 steps to escaping your Rut. The point we are discussing, indeed the catalyst for this rant was Exercise Your Body. His main point during the sermon was, Movement of your body inspires you to do more in your everyday life. My rant, however, is not about my Pastor’s words. It’s about a complete stranger’s way of dealing with them.
Episode #1: As my Pastor is talking, he says, “Now say to your Neighbor, Movement is Good.” My Neighbor to my left says, “You should really listen to what he is saying.”
Who Bitch What?!?!?!?
I didn’t say anything, because I knew that if I punched this random Skinny Stranger Bitch in her fucking face, I would probably be asked to leave. So I just said Amen, and went back to listening to my Pastor.
Episode #2: My Pastor stated something to the effect of, “Y0ur homework for this week is to get up and move. Walk 15 minutes.” The Skinny Stranger Bitch then gave me the Holy Helpful Stranger arm rub and said, ‘Now I know it’s hard for you to lose all that weight. But you have to try.”
Who. Bitch. What?!?!?!?!?
Episode #3: My Pastor then stated something to the effect of, Movement will make you feel better about yourself. Again with the Holy Helpful Stranger Arm Rub, “I have a niece that’s bi— Full Figured like you, and I tell her all the time, You have to try.”
Mother. Fuck.
First of all, stop touching me heaux, I don’t know you like that. Second of all, all fat people are not the same. Third, my thighs touching is not an indicator I Hate My Life. You Don’t Know My Story. You don’t know SHIT about me. You look at me and see a Fat Girl. And that, is the Mother. Fucking. Problem.
I have never met this woman in my life. She doesn’t know that I’ve lost 60lbs in the last 13 months, and I am working toward losing another 30 before June. But HOW DARE YOU . . . My Fat is not your business. Even if I was 600lbs, you don’t have the right to give me advice about what to do with my body. You have enough room on the bench, my fat is not touching you – so kindly Shut The Fuck Up.
I think her compulsion to save me is actually part of a bigger issue – that is, the need to help those we deem less fortunate than us. Of course this assessment of need is based solely on outward physical appearance.
I call what she did Skinny Bitch Privilege. The Skinny Bitch feels they are the media’s (read: the USA Media) representation of ‘Beauty,” so this means they have the right to ‘help’ people get like them. They ASSUME anyone who isn’t like them, just hasn’t had the right motivation to Get Like Them. Their Mindset seems to be, “Oh Woe is You. Please allow me to help you on your journey to being a better person.”
Fat DOES NOT EQUAL Unhappy/Sick/Lazy. If there is one constant annoyance in these past 13 months, it has been the perception/assumption that my weight loss happened because I was finally tired of being fat. It didn’t. It happened because someone told me I couldn’t do it. A 60 day challenge turned into a lifestyle change.
Do I feel better now that I’ve lost weight? Yes. Do I have more energy? Yes. Do rainbows now fly out of my soul every time I work out? No. Do I know feel complete and whole? NO. I wasn’t miserable at 378lbs. I’m not ridiculously happy at 318lbs. But however I feel about my body, you will NEVER have the right to tell me your opinion about it.
Listen Skinny Bitch, I’m good. I eat what I want, I don’t suffer from any sort of guilt/shame about my size. I’m a grown ass woman. I like food I know isn’t good for me, and if I feel like it, Imma eat that shit! I don’t need your help or your Pity.
Please, go on with your eating of Salad, I eat that too. Continue to prosper as you use the elliptical to get an ass that looks like mine. Further your journey into the land of Thighs Don’t Touch, I hear it’s cold and dry there . . . but that might just be a rumor.
Joyful Words of Wisdom 
Now that is self control, I would have ribbed that bitch then said hallelujah I am alive.
I LOVE IT!!!!
I applaud your ability to not knock that woman out when all this happened!
Congratulations on your lifestyle change and continue pressing forward!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lawd Jeeeeeezzzzzzzuuuuuuuusssssss….I swear I am sick of folk looking at me me like ‘ain’t you diabetic? on blood pressure meds? About to stroke out?. NO I am not my BP is better than yours, I don’t have the fuckin sugar….how about you go eat a damn sandwich before suffocate yo small dumb ass!!!! Small folk have small minds…LOL Girl I love your POSTS…
Wow….Bless you for not giving her a holy ass whooping right there in the pew.
Look at you troof-telling again. GIRL.
And I’m responding to you whilst on the elliptical. You should’ve invited her to a 6am workout with you. See what ol guhl start saying then.
I am so glad that you wrote this blog. People are being hurt, judged, pressured and humiliated into fitting in to others expectations. Funny thing is a lot of skinny people, athletes and so-called healthy people seem to be dying of heart attacks and strokes just like us full-figured folk. Not to be disrespectful or cruel my former Pastor suffered a major heart attack and he is not heavy and very health and weight concious. So we should be careful to associate bad health and health risks to only those we consider to e overweight.
Yes, yes, yes! Marissa, I don’t read blogs, but I am so glad I read YOURS!! Well done, well put, ad YOU have a way with words, Girl! I’m smiling…..deep down inside. I feel that exact way about a lot of shit everyday…..ad no one has ever broken that feeling so poignantly! BRAVO!! Keep at it, the writi. And the trek towards a healthier life!!! Love u cuz!
🙂
I would of had to give her a piece of my mind. So kudos to you just right there because I woudn’t of been able to hold my tongue.
And I’m sick of people thinking others want to be like that. How dare her try to give you advice and don’t even know your story?! I would of told that skinny bitch to kiss my FAT ass.